Movie Review - Mission Impossible 3

Mission Impossible 3 (3 of 5): Mission Impossible 3 is more of the same with a slight twist in character development this time around. You still get cool action scenes, people in costume, plot twists and a bit of mystery, but this time around we also get to see Ethan Hunt's character go all gah gah for a girl. He wants to get married and stay out of the "game". Of course, that's not going to happen and he gets pulled back in to the special agent lifestyle, this time to save his fiance and track down a super secret device called the "rabbits foot".

This movie did not live up to my expectations. There were some decent action scenes, but that was about it. Everything else seemed to be hashed out and a cookie cutter of what we expect. The movie didn't really attempt to do anything different except for show us the personal side of Ethan Hunt and get all lovey-dovey with his relationship. Really, it feels like they went out and made this movie in about one week. Everything just sort of felt like it was "been there, done that" territory. Remember the suspense of breaking into Langley Headquarters from the first Mission Impossible? In #3 that suspense was never re-created. This time, they break into the Vatican. The suspense is not there and too much falls into place for the characters.

Anyway, this is just a decent movie. The love story and a lack of suspense and innovation keep this movie from being really cool. Although, it definitely beats the pants off of the slow motion crap fest that was Mission Impossible 2.

Movie Review - Land of the Dead

Land of the Dead (2 of 5): Here is another suck-ass movie that I wasted my vacation watching. Why you ask? Not sure really. I guess I thought the potential for a cool zombie movie is pretty high today given all the cool special effects available to movie makers.

Although the special effects are pretty good in this movie and I do enjoy the over the top blood and gore, the story just never reaches the height it should. It's a shame too, because Land of the Dead starts off with good potential. The world has been taken over by zombies and only small groups of humans still live in camps and other communities around the globe. This premise would have been enough to make a cool movie about survival in this harsh new reality. Too bad...

Instead, the viewer is treated to a stupid plot about a guy who just wants to get out of town. But before he can do that he has to kill an acquaintence and former work collegue for the evil reining big-wig controlling the human settlement. If this story is not dumb enough, then add the fact that the zombies are starting to learn! They are getting smarter, organizing and rebelling against the human settlements. Lemme tell you, smart zombies start to look and sound a lot like human retards, drooling and moaning everywhere. Before long, you'll think your watching the special olympics. All of this makes for one LAME movie.

Movie Review - Doom

Doom (1 of 5): Well, here is a 1.5 hour long waste of time and potential. Of course, I knew it was going to be bad before watching it, but I was saddened by just how bad it gets. The "marines" are a laughable group led by Duane "The Rock" Johnson of WWF fame. The marines in Predator or Aliens would wipe the floor clean with Doom's marines. The acting is terrible to sub-par throughout. The special effects aren't bad, but they are definitely low budget.

However, the thing that makes me the most disappointed with this movie is that it screwed up what should have been easy. All you have to do to make a good Doom movie is to copy the original Doom game! That means have a one man team go in to save the scientists who has to fight hordes and hordes of beasties. Instead, we are treated to a movie version of Doom 3 that does not acknowledge Doom or Doom 2 at all. Alternatively, it offers only three different monsters, no gore, no cool weapons being used (BFG is totally wasted in this movie) and a dysfunctional group of idiot marines who you just want to see die already.

Don't waste your time. Find Doom and Doom 2 and play through those games again. You'll get more enjoyment playing them.

Top Five Christmas Movies

Okay folks, here we go. The 2 Movie Guys Top Five Christmas Movies list. If you have not seen these movies, consider yourself a scrooge.

1. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
2. A Christmas Story
3. Scrooged
4. Elf
5. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the cartoon, not that live action pile of shit)

There ya go. Although they are all comedies, those are the best Christmas movies for your money.

Merry Christmas!

PS - Special thanks to Bob & Randy who helped out with this list.

Movie Review - The Vanishing (1988)

The Vanishing (4 of 5): This is a pretty cool foreign movie about a man who obsessively searches for his girlfriend for three years after she disappears at a rest stop while the two are on a road trip. His investigation draws the attention of her abductor who is a mild-mannered professor and family man. Using flashbacks, the movie shows how the kidnapper carefully plans the woman's abduction and contacts the boyfriend, promising to reveal to him the woman's fate.

This movie was pretty cool because it explored both the pursuits of the boyfriend trying to find his girlfriend and the sociopathic pursuits of the abductor. This approach really makes you get a better feel for the characters and understand the abductor's thoughts a little more. He becomes more human and a lot scarier as a result. Anyway, this is my kind of thriller/horror movie - completely believable, scary and sticks with your subconscious for days. Its great psychological horror.

I have not seen the Sandra Bullock/Jeff Bridges remake of this movie, buy I hear it sucks in comparison. I won't ruin the end of the movie, but I will say it is pretty cool. In the end, both the boyfriend and the abductor get what they want, and more.

Movie Review - Borat

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (5 of 5): As if the title is not evidence enough, this movie exists in a world of its own. I imagine people either really hate it or they really love it with no in between. I personally fall into the later category. and think that Borat is the funniest movie I have seen in the last five years. Actually, probably longer than that. Borat is, without a doubt, one of the top five funniest movies I have ever seen my entire life!

Know this...

• Sacha Baron Cohen is brilliant as Borat - his Da Ali G Show Season 1 & 2 as well as Ali G Indahouse have shot up to the top of my rental list.
  
• Americans can be very ugly, rude, pathetic, blabbering, prejudiced fools.
• Naked-man wrestling is both utterly repulsive and side-splittingly hilarious.

Borat is just pure laughter wrapped up in a nice little 1.5 hr movie. There, that is all you need to know. My review is over. You should go to the theater right now and pray this movie is still playing.

Television Review - The Office: Season 2

The Office: Season 2 (5 of 5): I noticed this TV show really seemed to catch on with the public towards the mid to latter half of season 2, and it has been advertised heavily during the current season 3 episodes. That's good because it is one of the funniest shows on television right now. Recently, I got a chance to make my way through season 2 and get caught up on some of the episodes I missed during the TV run. It was time well spent. The series picks up from where the first left off, but this season the writing is better and the characters are a lot funnier.

There are a lot of great episodes in this season 2 series. The Dundies, Christmas Party, The Booze Cruise, Dwight's Speech and Drug Testing are just some of the episodes that made me laugh the most. I love the characters that have been created in this show. They all have their own qualities and are distinctly different from each other, allowig them all to be funny for different reasons. Over the long-run, this really keeps the show fresh each week. The other nice thing about this comedy is that it has some poignant moments that help to ground the characters and offset all the laughs and funny, but uncomfortable, situations. The relationship between Pam and Jim is extremely well written and the characters of Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute are perfectly played by Steve Carell and Rainn Wilson, respectively.

Remember, the American version of The Office is based on Ricky Gervais's enormously successful BBC sitcom of the same name. The BBC show is excellent. So, if you are a fan of the American version, I strongly encourage you to see the BBC counterpart because it too is hilarious. Don't ask me which version is better though. Prior to season 2, I thought the BBC version was better, but now, I honestly think they are both excellent in their own right.

Big Time Updating

Well, school is done for the semester. So, that means that MovieGuy #1 is going to have a lot more free time to make posts to this incredible blog. Too bad MovieGuy#2 is still incognito with his super secret agent training (oh, what our tax dollars pay for...).

Anyway, check out the new movie reviews that are up. You can expect many more to follow within the days and weeks ahead. We have also added labels to our posts for easier site navigation. Want to see all of our 1 star reviews? Now you can!

We need to spice things up a little more here though. Too many reviews can get boring. So, more rants are planned and also some more top 5/10 lists.

Ideas are welcome! After all, this site is dedicated to its millions of fans. Remember, this is YOUR blog!

MovieGuy #1

Movie Review - Thank You For Smoking

Thank You For Smoking (3 of 5): I got a chance to check this movie out the other night and was a little disappointed. I should have listened to MovieGuy #2 who said it was just mediocre but it was already on my Netflix list and being delivered. This movie is a satirical dark comedy about the cigarette industry. It follows the exploits of a smooth talking lobbyist who is working to promote smoking in the movies while trying to remain a role model for his young son. There are some funny moments in this movie, particularly the scenes with Rob Lowe as a movie producer, but for the most part this movie is so dry and satirical that it leaves the audience without much more than a smirk.

Movie Review - X-Men: The Last Stand

X-Men: The Last Stand (2 of 5): This is the third movie of the X-Men franchise and by far the weakest of the three, putting an end to the momentum and coolness that the first two movies were building up. This is primarily due to the fact that this movie tries to cover too much and ended up without a very cohesive (or interesting) store line. Not only are we introduced to a slew of new mutants including: The Beast, Juggernaught, Angel, and a bunch of no-name Brotherhood of Evil Mutant enlistees, but we also have the loss of some very significant characters and the return of Jean Gray as The Dark Phoenix. Unfortunately, all these elements are too much and the movie collapses under its own weight. All of these elements, especially the Dark Phoenix story, should have had their own movies. Instead, we get a mish mash of cool concepts and moments filled in with some rather lame dialogue and crappy character development. The most irritating thing of it all is that I can think of a multitude of ways in which everything that happened in this movie can be completely blown off and "written-out" of the franchise as a whole if a fourth movie is ever made. Since I know fan reaction has been harsh, this will probably happen, making the film a complete waste of time. Skip this suck-fest and hope Bryan Singer comes back to helm the inevitable fourth film.

Movie Review - Casino Royale

Casino Royale (4 of 5): Well, I am impressed. I didn't think it could be done, but the James Bond franchise has been rebooted and resurrected from the depths of mundanity. Bond is cool again, but he aint your mamma's 007. This Bond is brutal in his fighting technique, unafraid to kick some serious ass and possibly tear his tuxedo in the process! This movie effectively reintroduces us to James Bond as it presents a story from his early years in the British Secret Service. There are some great moments and many of the Bond cliches are defined for the very first time. You'll see how Bond gets his first Astin Martin; how he develops a taste for martinis; his first tuxedo fitting; and why he never gets too involved with the ladies. Its a basic story involving a bad guy who is just out to get rich, not take over the world; and there are no gadgets in this film either! Blasphemous, I know. But it all really works to re-write the franchise and take it in a new and fresh direction. My only two quibbles with the movie is that it is too long and that it suffers from some pacing issues in the middle. Other than that, I can't wait for the next Bond film with Daniel Craig as the new 007. Check it out!

Movie Review - High Tension

High Tension (2 of 5): Now, here is a movie that I was really getting into and quite enjoying, right up until the last 20 minutes or so which totally ruined, and I mean ruined, the entire film. We follow two girls who are going home to one of their parents' house to do some school studying before exams. The night they arrive all hell breaks loose when a psycho killer arrives at the house. The remainder of the movie follows the two girls as they try to escape the grasp of the murderer. This movie is very graphic and bloody! Honestly, there were some scenes that were just so gratuitous that I had to just squeal in glee. Although some scenes are hard to stomach, it was all in good fun. Then, the end... Poof, there goes a pretty great movie given today's low standards in horror films (I am looking at you SAW). Anyway, if you totally have to see this movie, I suggest stopping it before the climax/twist ending, otherwise you'll be as pissed as I am. The ending makes absolutely no sense, no matter how you look at it. As a matter of fact, I challenge somebody to defend the the end and explain it to me so that it makes sense.

Movie Review - Dawn of the Dead (1978)

Dawn of the Dead (2 of 5): Sorry, I can't get behind this movie. Way too long and way too hokey. Maybe if I had not seen the recent (and superior) remake I would have liked this old one better. Although I can appreciate some of the social and cultural commentary present in this film, it wasn't enough to save it from being a horribly bad and often laughable movie - I know, its not supposed to be an Oscar contender. All I wanted was a scary movie, but instead I got a pretty cheesy B Movie that was not scary at all. I'll give George Romero one more chance to impress me with his zombie movies when I watch Land of the Dead later this year. Hopefully, it will be better than Dawn.

Movie Review - Shaun of the Dead

Shaun of the Dead (3 of 5): I was somewhat disappointed with this movie. It came out a couple years back to what I remember was a fairly warm reception. So, maybe my expectations were set too high, but I just did not see the point. I have seen a lot better zombie movies. This one was more of a comedy, but there were actually some fairly dramatic scenes in it that were, for the most part poorly acted. Although there are some funny moments, I just felt like most of the movie was kind of boring. It was cool to see some of the actors from the BBC version of The Office in the movie though. Glad to see they are involved in other projects.

Television Review - Rome: Season 1

Rome: Season 1 (4 of 5): Rome is an HBO produced television series that is set during the last years of Julius Caesar's reign. The show does focus on Ceasar, but mostly centers on two Roman soldiers, Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo, and their families. Of course, being an HBO series, the production values are top notch. The acting is good and the story is great, though it can be hard to follow at times with all the characters to keep track of. This show isn't for the prudish though. There are heaping helpings of violence throughout the series and lot of explicit sexual content, especially in the first few episodes. Violence and sex... awesome! Except for just a couple episodes that did not hold my full attention, the story lines were great with plenty of politicking and back-stabbing to make things interesting. This show definitely paints a more personalized and gritty picture of Rome that you just don't get in movies like Gladiator or Alexander.

Halloween Movie Kick

Halloween is one of my favorite times of the year. In order to celebrate the season this year, I have been really wanting to watch some scary movies. So, I have recently filled my Netflix list up with scary movies I have never seen before in an effort to enjoy Halloween for all its worth this year. Here are some mini-reviews of movies I have recently watched:

Slither (4 of 5): This movie is the perfect mix of horror and fun, never taking itself too seriously, but also not diving too deep into B-movie territory either. Slither is a total throw-back to the horror films of the 1980s. It has a lot of good gross outs and some good scares too. Best scene: birth of the slugs.

Night of the Living Dead - 1968 (3 of 5): This is a horror classic. Black and white and very creepy at some points, especially the music. I liked this movie, but it couldn't quite eclipse the impression that the 80s remake left on me. This is the way horror movies should be - the characters should convey a total loss of all hope and forget about happy endings! Best scene: when the zombies are munching on char-broiled human.

Saw II (2 of 5): If you liked the first, the second is pretty much the same, except less personal with more of a funhouse atmosphere. If not for being in the mood to watch this type of movie during Halloween, I probably would give this movie 2 stars instead of 3. The minimal amount of psychological horror present in the first movie is largely gone in the sequel, replaced with more visual horror and gross-outs. I think it was a mistake to delve into the roots of the Jigsaw killer - why do horror movie franchises always do this? It ruins the mystery! Best scene: combing through a pile of used hypodermic needles to find a hidden key.

Well, that is all the scary movies I have gotten a chance to see recently. However, I will have three more to watch very soon. Next up: Dawn of the Dead (1978), High Tension and The Vanishing.

Movie Review: Everything Is Illuminated

Everything Is Illuminated (4 of 5): This is a nice movie about a young Jewish man, played by Elijah Wood, who goes to the Ukraine to uncover the secrets of his grandfather's past and how he escaped the country and fled to American in World War II. In order to figure things out he enlists the help of a Ukrainian escort business that specializes in helping Jewish families trace their roots throughout the region. What he doesn't know though is that his grandfather's past has crossed paths with the Ukrainian family in ways that they will soon both understand.

Like I said, this is a nice movie. It is entertaining and I was happily surprised to find myself laughing quite frequently throughout. I thought this would be a difficult move to get through because of its anti-semitic/holocaust subject matter, however the film is hardly weighed down by these issues. Instead, it is frequently light-hearted, especially the scenes involving the Ukrainian grandson who loves American pop-culture. This is a poignant, funny and sad movie that provides a very good entertainment experience.

Movie Review - Running Scared

Running Scared (3 of 5): You may remember the TV preview for this film always ending with a blacklit glowing hockey puck being slapped right towards a guy whose face is being held against the ice. No? Well, it may not say much for my character, but I thought that looked pretty cool and made a mental note to check this movie out when I could.

Running Scared is a film is about a young boy who gets fed up with his abusive step-father and decides to shoot him with a gun he steals from his friend's dad. The only problem is that the gun was used in a crime conducted by the father and his gang. When the young boy runs away after failing to kill his step-father, and his friend's dad figures out his gun was stolen, the story then follows the boy and his misadventures while running away and the dad in his effort to find the boy and get the gun back.

Yeah, it's not a particularly challenging movie, but there is more than enough action and plot twists to keep you entertained. This is a violent and bloody movie though, so I wouldn't watch it with your mother. Except for a twist ending and a very strange out-of-place sequence in the middle of the movie, you are going to get a good helping of drugs, guns, violence, gangsters, crooked cops, pimps, and double-crosses in this movie. Enjoy.

PS- Make sure you watch the closing credits. The animation is very entertaining.

Television Review - Battlestar Galactica: Season 2.5

Battlestar Galactica: Season 2.5 (5 of 5): If you have not seen Battlestar Galactica yet, I urge you to go rent season 1 and get started. The show is terrific and highly entertaining. Season 2.5 continues the first and second seasons with more entertaining and thought provoking story lines, cool space ship action sequences and interesting character developments. This show ranks up there with some of the best shows on TV and it constantly re-invents itself to stay fresh and exciting. It is always engaging and definitely "smart" science-fiction.

I know, you're wondering what the heck Season 2.5 is, right? Well, the second season of the show had about a 6 month split in it so they decided to release the first half of the second season on DVD separate from the second half. This is probably my only beef with season 2. I really would have liked to watch everything together instead of having a break. By the time I got my hands on season 2.5 it was about 8 months after I saw season 2.0, and I had forgotten some of the minor story elements by that time.

Thanks to my brother-in-law for introducing me to this incredible show and letting me borrow his Season 2.5 disc. Now I am all caught up. Season 3 just started airing on the Sci-Fi channel a couple of weeks ago and I can't wait to watch it, especially after that season 2 finale, which is totally out of right-field.

Where are the MovieGuys?

We have gotten a flood of mail from our millions of fans the world who wondering where the MovieGuys have gone. No updates for weeks! Why?! Well, of course, there is a reason, two actually. The first is that MovieGuy #2 is off playing cops and robbers for six months in training for his new job. The second is that MovieGuy #1 is back in night-school for another semester of self-abuse.

Of course these reasons mean that we hardly have enough time to watch movies these days, let alone write up reviews of them. Sorry, our world famous rants will have to wait too. Don't worry though, we are already forming ideas and making plans to come back stronger than ever. Until the official re-release of 2 MovieGuys, check in periodically for the occasional update.

Thanks,
2 MovieGuys

Rant - Censor Deez!

Why is it that almost every new comedy and horror film released on DVD these days is UNCENSORED? When did this heinous act start? Personally, I find it kind of annoying; especially since most of the time very little substantial change is made from the theatrical release. Usually, all that is added in is expletives, T&A (not that this is a bad thing), or more torture scenes (when did torture become horror?). It's my opinion that movies will sell on DVD just fine based on their own merit. If its a good movie, it should sell well on DVD; if not it probably shouldn't have been made in the first place. Why ruin good movie, or make a crappy movie worse, by putting scenes back in that were originally taken out? In most cases those scenes were taken out for good reason - because they sucked and added nothing to the narrative!

However, based on DVD sales of UNCENSORED movies, I may be in the minority on this opinion. Some marketing study out there must have convinced the studios that it is more lucrative to write "UNCENSORED", "UN-RATED", or the all mighty "UNCENSORED & UNRATED" in big bold letters on the DVD case, otherwise I fail to see why its done. Am I missing something, or is this practice just used to trick consumers into thinking they are getting more for their money? Oh, and has anybody actually bought an UNCENSORED labeled DVD that was better than the theatrical release? I haven't.

Movie Review: Dave Chappelle's Block Party

Dave Chappelle’s Block Party (3 of 5): I really like Dave Chappelle’s comedy, especially Chappelle’s Show, so I was excited to get a chance to watch this film. After watching it, I am happy to report that it is pretty good, as long as you go into the movie knowing what to expect. Don’t put this movie in expecting two hours of stand up comedy or a re-hash of Chappelle’s Show. If you do, you’ll be disappointed. Block Party does have plenty of comedy in it, but its main focus is music. In late 2004 (right after he landed a $50 million contract with Comedy Central and just before he broke under the pressure and moved to South Africa) Dave decided to throw a concert in Brooklyn. Dave Chappelle’s Block Party is the documentary of his experience organizing the concert and trying to get a variety of people from his hometown to show up. If you are a fan of rap/hip hop/soul/r&b music sung by people with actual talent, you will like this movie. You get music from a lot of really talented artists including: Mos Def, Kanye West, The Roots, Dead Prez, Erykah Badu and even a reunion of The Fugees. Block Party primarily showcases the music, but there is a lot of funny moments and entertainment from Chappelle throughout the film. Beyond that, I think you’ll really enjoy seeing how genuinely Dave seems to love the music and the sincerity in which he brings people of all different backgrounds together to his concert. Dave Chappelle’s Block Party isn't for every one, but if you are a fan of either the comic or the music, you’ll find something to enjoy.

Movie Review - The World's Fastest Indian

The World’s Fastest Indian (5 of 5): The World’s Fastest Indian is a rare gem of a movie that did not receive the recognition or attention it deserved when in was released in 2005. This movie is about Burt Munro (played by Anthony Hopkins), a real life New Zealander who spent around 25 years of his life customizing a 1920s Indian motorcycle. Munro’s dream is to take the bike halfway around the world to the Bonneville Salt Flats Test Track in Utah, the only place where he can find out how fast it will actually go. Munro meets a variety of interesting and supportive people in his voyage, and his personality seems to bring out the best in all of them. After watching some of the DVD extras, including a 1960s documentary on the real life Burt Munro, I can tell you that Anthony Hopkins is dead on in his portrayal of the somewhat eccentric man. I highly recommend this movie. It is an inspirational tale of overcoming adversity and highlights a decency and kindness of strangers that is rarely depicted in today’s films. Check it out – this is one of those rare movies that will actually leave you feeling “happy” at its conclusion.

Rant - Commercials

My typical night at the movies goes is a little something like this:

First, of course, I purchase my tickets – the MovieGuys do not endorse theatre hopping! Next, I might buy some popcorn and a drink for the little lady and me. After that, I’ll get in the theatre, find a seat (see MovieGuy #2’s previous rant about seating), and wait for the lights to dim. Unfortunately, it’s at that point, when the lights turn off, that I always start to get pissed. It never fails, every time… Right when the lights start dim… Right when I should be getting excited about the show starting, my urge to kill starts to rise.

The reason this happens to me is because, instead of a movie, I am treated with ten minutes of f@&king crappy ass, months old, television commercials! What the hell?

I HATE commercials in front of movies! Seriously, sitting through them drives me crazy. I am not a violent guy, but I literally have to squeeze the armrest next to me in order to keep myself from screaming at the screen in maniacal rage while punching my fist through the head of the guy in front of me. It’s bad enough that I am out $40.00 by the time I sit down in the theatre. Now, I have to pay money to watch crappy commercials too!? That doesn’t seem fair to me.

Seriously, do we need commercials in front of a movie? No, I don’t think we do. Don’t we get enough advertisements on TV, in magazines, and on the Internet (yes, I know Viagra is great, now leave me alone!)? Sure we do, and they are usually more up to date! Do you know how many times I have seen the same advertisement for Axe Body Spray, Levi’s Jeans and the Toyota Scion? WAY TOO MANY TIMES! So many times, in fact, that at one point I was actually contemplating buying a coffin, err, I mean Scion, squeezing my fat legs into a pair of tight fitted 501s and coating myself in a thin layer of Axe for a cruising night on the town! Thankfully, common sense prevailed.

Sure, commercials give movie theatre chains a little extra revenue to supplement today’s increasingly expensive film prints and decreasing audiences, but isn’t there another way? Anything besides showing commercials before the movies would be better. I know! How about theatre chains start selling Axe Body Spray, Levi’s Jeans, Lottery tickets and other advertised items right next to the JuJu Bees and Snow Caps in the concession counter! At least then, customers would have a choice.

Certainly, I am not the only person that hates commercials in front of their movies. Make yourselves heard! Let’s rise and put an end to this blasphemous movie practice. Let’s take back our movie going experience by eliminating the movie theatre commercials.

Movie Review - The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (4 of 5): Three Burials opens with a rather confusing first half hour of flashbacks and character introductions, but after that, this movie gets pretty darn good! Directed by Tommy Lee Jones, this film is about a cowboy (Pete Jones) who is friends with an illegal Mexican immigrant cowboy (Estrada) that is killed by a reckless US Border Patrol agent (Mike Norton). The murder and ensuing cover up of his friend's death doesn’t sit well with Pete, so he kidnaps Norton and forces him to exhume Estrada’s corpse. The rest of the movie follows Pete in his efforts to get Estrada back to Mexico for a proper burial and force Norton to understand and take responsibility for his actions. This is a really good movie and I was very impressed with Tommy Lee Jones’ performance. He does a great job playing a weathered cowboy and you’ll ask yourself if his character isn’t just a little bit crazy in the head. There is also some beautiful cinematography in this movie that will make you want to move out west. Overall, this movie is a great story about friendship and reconciliation.

Movie Review - Spirited Away

Spirited Away (4 of 5): Spirited Away is a charming little film about a young girl who gets trapped in a spirit realm while trying to save her parents who have been transformed into pigs. This movie was directed by Hayao Miyazaki, an acclaimed Japanese animation director known for many films including Princess Mononoke (which I reviewed last month). The animation in this movie holds to Miyazaki’s style – it is gorgeous, detailed and colorful. At its heart, Spirited Away is a children’s movie, but it succeeds very well in entertaining adults too. This movie is extremely creative and filled with tons of memorable characters, including a witch, a dragon and a giant baby. Don’t let the Japanese style of animation keep you from seeing this film and enjoying what it has to offer.

Netflix Rocks

UPDATE! (4-16-07): As a movie enthusiast and Netflix fan, I am always looking for new Netflix friends. If you would like to have me as a friend on your Netflix account, just send me an email to p_fish77@hotmail.com using the "invite friends" feature in your Netflix account. I look forward to hearing from you!

MovieGuy #1
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“Why don’t you have a Netflix account?” This is the question I keep asking all of my friends. I joined Netflix almost one year ago and have never looked back. Simply put, Netflix is awesome! Allow me extol its virtues:

1) No late fees! - Yeah, you can keep the movie as long as you like. But, you probably already new that if you spend any amount of time surfing the web or watching TV – Netflix advertises like crazy.
2) The queue! - Keep all the movies you could ever want to see on one list. No wandering around Blockbuster anymore trying to remember what you wanted to see. Plus, you can go around annoying all your friends by telling them “oh yeah, that movie is on my list”, or “no, I haven’t seen it yet, but it is on my list”. They’ll get so annoyed hearing about your list – it’s great!
3) No postal fees and movies arrive super fast! - All the movies come in a beautiful red envelope and you don’t pay a dime for shipping. Most of the time, I get a new movie about two days after I drop the old one in my mailbox.
4) Multiple plans to choose from! - I use the 3 at a time unlimited plan. This plan allows me to have 3 movies out at one time and I have unlimited rentals a month. There are a variety of plans from which to choose, ranging from $5.99/mo for cheap people, to $47.99/mo for people who still live in their parent's basement.
5) Huge selection of DVDs! - You’ll have access to over 60,000 titles. Sorry, no porn.

Hopefully (overlooking the unavailability of porno) you can now understand some of the greatness of Netflix. If you already have a Netflix account, let me know your username because I really want to be able to use Netflix’s “friend” feature. If you don’t have an account, go sign up for a free trial!

Movie Review - Syriana

Syriana (4 of 5): Okay, first things first. Syriana is a very confusing movie. It will challenge you to keep up, and more than likely wear out your remote as you continually pause the film to figure things out. This movie moves at a fast and relentless pace and expects the audience to have some general, if not intermediate, knowledge of business, government, law and politics. These issues don’t keep Syriana from being a great film though. This movie tells an overall story about oil in the middle east by interweaving five smaller story lines: 1) the story of two US oil companies and the US Department of Justice’s inquiry into their merger; 2) the story of a dedicated CIA field agent assigned to assassinate a middle-eastern Prince; 3) the story of that Prince and his efforts to build his country off the wealth of his oil; 4) the story of a successful young commodities trader and his employment by the Prince in the middle-east; and 5) the story Pakistanis who join a fundamentalist group after being fired from a US owned oil company. All of these stories come together at the end like some sort of 6 degrees of separation puzzle, but it is a complicated ride. However, if you can get over that aspect of the film, this movie does a great job of dramatizing all the intricacies and back-room politics of the oil industry. It attempts to pull away the veil that is too often cast over the public’s eyes by the media, corporations and political officials in their constant spin of the truth, and I think it succeeds in doing so while maintaining a certain degree of anonymity for its fictionalized characters and locals. You’ll feel worn out afterward, but Syraia is worth watching.

Movie Review - Monster House

Monster House (5 of 5): It has been a while since I have seen a good animated movie; Previously, nothing has outdone Toy Story and Shrek. However, Monster House is the most beautifully animated movie I have ever seen. Everything about it, from the detailed facial expressions and movement of the characters, right down to the way a blade of grass moved when stepped on was amazing. In addition, the movie had what a lot of these types of movies lack; a real story and plot. As good as animated films are, they seem to rely heavily on quick pop culture one-liners for humor and entertainment. The story involves a creepy neighborhood house which seems to be haunted. People who walk on the lawn disappear, toys that wind up falling into it's yard also go missing and seem to be devoured by the house. Naturally, the only person to notice these activities is a boy living across the street. With his parents out of town, the boy and his hefty friend (think Chunk from The Goonies) decide to investigate and solve the mystery of the monster house. This may sound silly; but this movie was actually scary! Not in an Exorcist sort of way, but the music, the house, and the overall creepy environment created in the story made it seem like it would be too much for some kids. I would take my kid to see it (If I had one) , but as some of you already know; I already won't be winning any kind of father of the year awards. Monster House was easily the most fun, entertaining movie I have seen all year.

Chick Flicks

Guys, if you are like us, at some point of time with your girlfriend, or wife you have had to sit through a Chick Flick. We all know what these are; they usually star Hugh Grant, Julia Roberts, Sarah Jessica Parker, or some other kind of no talent ass-clown with shallow plot lines involving why men are such losers and my personal favorite; secrets involving sisterhood. No offense to the lovely women readers; but these movies blow.

However, once in a while this genre of movie produces a quality film that does not make guys feel like dirt, and is worth viewing. Especially if you need to plan a "special" night involving letting her pick the movie so you can see the newest blockbuster superhero movie that she has no interest in. It's all about compromise boys.

We here at 2 Movie Guys would like to give you our top 10 Chick Flick picks. (We are each doing 5 because....well, it's way too difficult to come up with 10 each)

Movie Guy #1 says:

1. The Princess Bride
2. Ghost
3. Amelie
4. The Color Purple
5. A League of Their Own

Movie Guy #2 says:

1. Sweet November
2. The Notebook (if your eyes don't tear up during this one, you have no soul)
3. Love Actually
4. Can't Buy Me Love
5. Dirty Dancing (who doesn't love Patrick Swayze?)

There you have it boys. If you have to subject yourself to these kind of movies, these are the ones to go for. So next time you are planning a nice romantic evening in front of the DVD player, run on down to the nearest video store and pick up one of these winners; your girl deserves it for putting up with you.

Movie Review - Munich

Munich (4 of 5): Munich was directed by Steven Spielberg and quietly released last year to surprisingly little recognition or fanfare. Based on actual events, Munich is about Israel’s response to the tragic events of the Palestinian/Israeli hostage crisis during the 1972 Munich Summer Olympics. This movie follows five Israeli Mossad agents in their assignment to hunt down and assassinate the Palestinian men responsible for the tragedy. I really liked this movie. It has a lot of great moments of suspense and intrigue and balances character development with action sequences quite well. I would not classify this movie as being political, but it does touch on the political intricacies of the Israel/Palestine region and raises some excellent questions regarding the appropriateness of response methods to terrorist threats – topics still applicable today, 34 years later. Eric Bana is excellent in this film and proves he can play a major lead role as Avner, leader of the Mossad agents. Bana plays the interesting dichotomy of his character as both family-man and assassin quite well, particularly towards the end of the film when the personal effects of Avner’s actions are revealed. It is unfortunate that this movie did not get more Oscar recognition because it is an excellent film. Check it out.

Movie Review - Superman Returns

Superman Returns (4 of 5): Being a big fan of the original Superman franchise I was very curious to see how this movie would compare to the originals. While watching I began to think "who cares"? This movie should be viewed and judged on it's own merit, not against it's previous installments. It's not as if any of the same cast is starring, nor the same producer. It's been five years since the Man of Steel has been seen on Earth, and after returning from a galactic quest to find the remnants of his home planet of Krypton, he returns to an Earth that no longer needs and depends on him. Even his loved Lois Lane has moved on, with a husband and a five year old son. Superman Returns is a beautiful movie, with a lot of heart and emotion. The effects were very engrossing, and Routh (Superman) really captures the bumbling, clumsiness of Clark Kent. It was uncanny how much he resembled Reeves version of Kent. The only thing distracting me from the movie, (aside from the dumbasses behind me; don't worry, they will be dealt with in time) was Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. Spacey's Luthor was much more diabolical and evil. I really missed Gene Hackman's Luthor and the comedy that he brought to the franchise. Also, I really would have liked to see Parker Posey as Lois Lane; she is a better actress and even looks like Lois Lane. Overall, I think this movie did the franchise justice, and I look forward to the re-emergence of this comic book icon.

Movie Review - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (3 of 5): Yaaar, matey! I got a chance to see Dead Man’s Chest over the weekend and I enjoyed it. This movie defines the “summer popcorn flick” genre. It’s mindless fun and is everything you expect, just more of it. You get more Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow; more swashbuckling and sword fighting; more ridiculous, but fun, action sequences; more brilliantly computer generated pirates; and the return of just about every character from the first movie. Unfortunately, all this “more” makes for a very long film. Pirates clocks in at around 150 minutes, which felt about 40 minutes too long to me. However, if you like pirates (who doesn’t?), and can look beyond its somewhat pretentious length, you’ll find a fun and enjoyable movie experience with superb and entertaining special effects.

Movie Review - The Life and Death of Peter Sellers

The Life and Death of Peter Sellers (4 of 5) After being completely mortified and disappointed in the most recent Pink Panther installment with Steve Martin (see review below), I was left with a burning desire to watch some classic Panther humor. As fate would have it, at the video store I stumbled upon this movie detailing the life of Peter Sellers. The movie is hillarious and actually quite sad. It fully illustrates what seems to be a prevailing trend regarding some of the funniest, most talented actors; they are usually pretty screwed up in the head. Geoffrey Rush plays Sellers, and eerily re-creates several of his classic characters, along with Sellers drug problems, womanizing, family issues and continual search to define his own personality and identity. Sellers interaction with directors and overall behavior was at times, down-right appauling, and his desperate desire to gain notarity as a serious actor and artist was sad to watch. If you are not a Sellers fan, or at least a Pink Panther fan, it may not be for you, but if you appreciate his work, it is an interesting watch.

Rant - Eating Like A Pig

I first noticed this annoyance several years back while watching Lord of the Rings in the theatre. 2 hours into the movie I became increasingly aware of the sumo-like woman behind me eating her popcorn with her mouth wide open. No matter how hard I tried to ignore it, all I could hear was this woman chewing with her mouth open. After several failed attempts to get her to remember that she was in public, not a barn, I finally turned around and asked her to close her mouth while she eats that 86 oz. bucket of popcorn. Not surprisingly, she was offended, as are all of the inconsiderate douchebags at the theatre these days.

It begs the question: do these people eat like slobs at home? Or do they save these glutton like tendencies for public viewing? Don't get me wrong, I completely condone buying massive amounts of overpriced movie theatre junk food and stuffing myself until naseau sets in; but lets all adhere to the fundamental, polite eating habits that should have been committed to memory back in grade school.

While we are on the topic of eating at the movies, lets go over one other point: Please open all your Twizzler, Milk Duds, Sour Patch Kids, Doritos, or whatever other food you cleverly managed to smuggle into the theatre BEFORE THE MOVIE BEGINS! You probably think you are being quiet and polite by opening your jumbo size bag of pork rinds a centimeter or so at a time, but I hear you. Just open them before hand, all at once, we both know you can't wait to dig your lard ass into all that food.

One final point: We all know that the pre-pubescent acne cursed teenagers that work there are not going to clean the theatre between showtimes, if ever. You need to pick up your own mess, your mother doesn't work there. Or maybe she does, but she's probably too busy figuring out where she went wrong with you.

Movie Review - Amadeus

Amadeus (3 of 5): At some point, I heard this was good movie and filed it away on my “must see” list many years ago. Now, through the beauty of Netflix, I have finally seen it. Amadeus is a period piece about Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Tom Hulce). The movie chronicles his short, but brilliant, life as a composer. It is presented as a series of flash backs by Antonio Salieri (F. Murray Abraham) – court composer for the Emperor of Austria and enemy of Mozart. As expected, the use of classical music in this movie is outstanding. I also thought the performances of Abraham and Hulce were awesome. The intricacies of Salieri's love/hate relationship with Mozart is presented very well – my favorite scene being at the end of the movie when they are writing music together for an opera. Too bad the movie is so long though, clocking in at almost three hours. Also, you better like opera music because you get a lot of it in this movie as Mozart and Salieri direct their works. In conclusion, I liked Amadeus, but I didn’t think it was anything really special. Generally, it’s just not the type of movie I usually really get into, so I would have a hard time recommending it to most people.

Movie Review - Princess Mononoke

Princess Mononoke (4 of 5): This movie is about a young prince named Ashitaka. After a demon infects him with a life threatening disease he leaves his village in search of a cure. Ashitaka quickly finds himself caught in a battle between the forest's animals and a mining town. Princess Mononoke, a human raised by wolves, leads the animal revolt against the mining town that is stripping the land of its resources. This movie features a great story and is filled with a lot of interesting characters. It’s not a sappy Disney kiddie film either. This movie features an adult story and has some scenes of violence (cool, decapitation!) that push the border of its PG-13 rating. You get gods, demons, samurai, animals, drama and action all in one movie and you definitely don’t have to be a fan of anime to appreciate it. The detailed art design and story will suck you in. Plus, I was impressed with dubbed voice acting too, featuring Gillian Anderson, Claire Danes and Billy Bob Thorton, among others. Check this movie out, especially if you like animated films.

Rant - Kids

Dear "Parents":

As I have recently joined your ranks, I feel the topic of "parenting and movies" should be discussed. I am saddened that so many of you so called "parents" don't understand the meaning of the word: babysit. For those who have never heard of the word, click here for a definition.

Particular attention should be paid to babysitter, the noun of babysit. A babysitter is what you need to hire before you go out to see a movie at the same theater as me. Let me be perfectly clear. If your kid is not over the age of two, it has no place in any movie theater with you, period. If your child is between two and seven (give or take a couple years depending on how retarded your kid is), then I don't mind seeing it in the lobby, but I still don't want to see it in a theater sitting next to me. The only exception to this rule is if I am at the theater to see Garfield: Tale of Two Kitties.

Being a parent myself, I feel like I can speak on this issue. Also, since I love movies and hate your kids, my opinion should be heard. Tell me, what business does your child have watching the same movie I am watching at an hour that should be past its bedtime? I am an adult, your child is not, and that is why we call them children. The movies I see are often inappropriate for children. You, as a parent, should know this, but are likely too selfish and self-centered to recognize the fact. I see movies that are filled with adult themes and content, violence, sex, and drugs, etc. These are topics which your child will not understand until at least kindergarten and thus should not be exposed to at such a fragile young age. Bearing this in mind, it should be apparent that your offspring is going to become bored with a movie it doesn't understand. When kids get bored, they start to do things like: ask you questions; fidget; run up and down the ailes; do the pee-pee dance; kick my seat; and eat things off the floor. These activities, coupled with your inability to properly discipline your child, quickly become a HUGE distraction and annoyance to me and the other moviegoers in the theater.

So, in summary, here is a simple formula to keep in mind the next time you are thinking about bringing your kid to a movie. I have underlined the most important part.

Ticket price + concession items + BABYSITTER PAY = An enjoyable experience that forgoes the unpleasantries associated with your kids watching a movie theater audience beat the crap out of daddy and mommy for bringing them along.





Let's make it a tear free evening at the movies

Thank you,
Movie Guy #1

Movie Review - Night Watch

Night Watch (4 of 5): Russia may not have been able to make communism work; but they are doing a pretty good job with sci-fi/horror. Night Watch, the first part in a trilogy, had a very limited US theatrical release, and was just released on DVD last week. This movie tells the story of an ancient truce, forged between forces of light and the darkness. A world now exists where vampires, shape-shifters, and witches roam the earth, policing each other to ensure that one side does not influence mortals; mortals have to come to the choice on their own as to which side they choose. A series of events shatters the balance, triggering a new war between good and evil. It's really hard to describe this movie; think Blade and The Matrix with a side of Lord of The Rings. Although considered a horror movie, it was more sci-fi fantasy than horror, but there were definetely some creepy scenes. Overall, the movie was highly entertaining, and visually beautiful. The storyline was both detailed and very unique. I am certainly looking forward to watching the forthcoming sequels. Because this movie is probably pretty unknown to most people, I would encourage people to go to one of the convienent movie sites listed on the right and check out a trailer for Night Watch.

Movie Review - An Inconvenient Truth

An Inconvenient Truth (4 of 5): This movie is about global warming. Wait! Please, continue reading. I know for many of you the thought of watching a movie about global warming is not as appealing as say, watching this summer’s "can’t miss" installment of The Fast & The Furious, but I insist, you must read this review and go see this movie. An Inconvenient Truth presents Al Gore’s approximately 30 years of study on the topic. Gore is truly passionate about the subject and it shows. He presents all the facts you need to know in a carefully crafted scientific presentation, using graphs and charts that just about any layperson should be able to understand. His presentation thoroughly details the human race’s contribution to global climate change in a professional and unbiased manner, without any spin and in terrifying clarity. If I have one complaint, it is that his presentation is intercut with details about his personal life and efforts as an environmentalist. These moments seemed to convey him as a martyr and distracted from the core of the film. However, this is a minor quibble to an overall very interesting movie. An Inconvenient Truth is a compelling and thoughtful call to arms about a subject that we as a society have chosen to largely ignore. Unfortunately, global warming is a problem that is not going to go away and I strongly believe that every American has the responsibility to see this movie in order to better understand the subject.

Movie Review - Spongebob Squarepants the Movie

Spongebob Squarepants (4 of 5) Ahhhhhh....Bikini Bottom. If you have never watched an episode of Spongebob, stop reading now; this review will only tarnish my integrity. For the 2 of you still reading, you know that the Spongebob series is a clever, witty, and above all entertaining children's cartoon, created in the same fashion as Ren & Stimpy and The Simpsons to make children and adults laugh. The movie focuses on Spongebob and his "partner" Patrick, as they go on a quest to reclaim King Neptune's crown which has been stolen. The livelihood of Bikini Bottom and all their underwater friends hangs in the balance. (Did I really just write that?) The story was hillarious, as there were several occassions that I laughed hard outloud. Especially when Spongebob and Patrick got "drunk" on ice cream. Ultimately there is a very endearing message that everyone should learn; that you are only as old as you feel, and the most important thing in life is knowing and loving who you are.

Movie Review - The Da Vinci Code

The Da Vinci Code (2 of 5): Since just about the entire world has read the book, this movie should not be much of a surprise. And for those that did not read the book, this movie still won’t be much of a surprise, especially since all the media hype has probably spoiled the ending for many – including myself. I was not impressed with this movie. It was totally cut and dry. I actually felt like I was reading the book while I watched the movie because of the way it is presented as long conversations of characters explaining things to each other. This presentation makes the movie feel like a boring history lesson – and I like history! I think that Director Ron Howard and company were afraid to take any artistic license with this movie, less they alienate the book’s millions of fans. Instead they settled for a long and drawn-out narrative of the book with a few infrequent action sequences thrown in to try and ramp up the suspense level. Unfortunately, this formula fails to hold the attention of the audience.

Rant - Don't Sit Anywhere Near Me

As promised the 2 Movie Guys will be taking to time explore all the annoying and rude behaviors exhibited by the general public, or at least by every moron that sits within a 15 ft. radius of me.

Today's topic asks the question, "Why the hell are you sitting next to me?" Unless it is opening weekend, and you are too excited, or too stupid to stay away from a Friday night opening, you have the right to expect that people don't sit directly in front or behind you! It's really sad that we even have to point out how incredibly rude and bothersome this is. If I get to the theatre first, I should get a nice, open sound barrier around me. There are plenty of other seats, I don't want your bulbous head in front of me, and I don't want to have you breathing down my neck.

One way to alleviate this problem is to bring extra clothes. A jacket, sweatshirt, or soiled blanket from your garage placed in the surrounding seats is a great way to say"These seats are taken, go creep someone else out." You can also use your $20 worth of snacks you just bought, or possibly your children, who honestly shouldn't be there in anyway.

This all may sound a little extreme, but honestly, today's movie-going experience is too expensive to be ruined by people who shouldn't be allowed out of the house in the first place. (See above picture......)

Independence Day = Movie Day

Happy 4th of July! Yes, today is Independence Day; a day full of obligatory family get-togethers, barbeques, parades and fireworks. Take a moment though. Ask yourself… Do you really need all that hassle? Damn right you don’t! You’re an independent American and hassle is for communists! Besides, the Shriners are freaky.

What should you do then? Well, 2 Movie Guys encourage you to exercise your independence by planting your big-fat American ass down on the sofa to watch war movies all day! And guess what? We just happen to have the perfect list of movies to watch. Our list not only entertains, but it also educates just how our country has historically fought for the independence of all our global friends. See, you’re learning, not wasting a day better spent with you family!

So, in chronological order, here are the best Independence Day war movies to watch this July 4th:

1. The Patriot – American Revolution
2. Glory – Civil War
3. All Quiet on the Western Front – World War I
4. Saving Private Ryan – World War II
5. The Manchurian Candidate – Korean War
6. Platoon – Vietnam War
7. The Hunt for Red October – Cold War
8. Three Kings – Persian Gulf War
9. Black Hawk Down – Somalia conflict
10. Independence Day – A prelude to our almost certain future war with extra-terrestrials

And make sure you thank Patrick Swayze this 4th. Because of him we all still speak English, not Russian. What...that was a fictional movie? A group of high school students didn't repell a cold war-era Russian army?

Have a happy and safe Fourth of July!

Movie Review - October Sky

October Sky (4 of 5): This true-story takes place in 1957 just after the Soviet satellite Sputnik is launched. The satellite becomes a source of inspiration for 17-year-old Homer Hickam (played by Gyllenhaal), who refuses to follow in his father's footsteps laboring in West Virginia's coal mines. Homer would rather reach for the stars. With the help of a few friends, he sets about creating model rockets which eventually allow him to compete for a science-fair scholarship and the chance to go to college. I liked this movie a lot. It presented a good story peppered with positive values and humor. The conflict between Homer and his dad was predictable, but well acted and played out. This is a great family movie that encourages one to follow their personal dreams.

Movie Review - Winter Passing

Winter Passing (4 of 5): Zooey Deschanel (the blonde department store employee from Elf) plays the angry, often ignored daughter of 2 famous writers. After a publishing company contacts her and offers to pay big if she returns home and retrieves a lost manuscript her deceased mother was believed to have written; she returns home to find an alcoholic father (Ed Harris) who now lives in the garage, a former literary student acting as his caretaker, and Will Ferrell, an out of work, former Christian rockgroup frontman, living in the house. I thought the story was excellent, and the characters were very well developed. Ferrells' character is hillarious even when he isn't trying to be, or maybe he was trying....Regardless, it was a very unique story, and great soundtrack.

Congratulations to the Golden Ticket Holder!

2 Movie Guys want to thank our very first blog visitor/commenter who isn't one of our mothers. Her name is Jami and she runs a great blog called The Very Important Thoughts of Jami. Make sure you check it out.

Thanks for getting in line so early Jami!

Your Gold Star for the Day

Hopefully, no review is necessary. However, for those of you who have not figured out our star rating system yet, it is basically the same as Netflix's rating system. Allow me to explain.

1 Star - Hated It: These are movies we absolutely despise. We don't have to watch them to know they suck. You wouldn't even wish their viewing on your worst enemies. Examples include Glitter, Spice World or Son of the Mask.

2 Stars - Didn't Like It: These movies are not very good. After watching one, you feel you wasted two hours that could have been better spent at the dentist or at a wedding.

3 Stars - Liked It: You know what your going to get with these movies and they are pretty run-of-the-mill. Most movies fall into this category. Usually, you can watch a three star movie without worrying about wasting your time.

4 Stars - Really Liked It: These movies keep you very entertained throughout. Many just have a few small problems that keep them from being a five. Your friends won't laugh at you anymore if you recommend four star movies.

5 Stars - Loved It: Five stars is reserved for the cream of the crop. Usually, you can enjoy these movies multiple times. They are technically and artistically superior to other movies. Examples of five star movies include: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Godfather II or Star Wars: A New Hope.

So, there you have it, our ratings system at a glance.

Movie Review - Grandma's Boy

Grandmas Boy (3 of 5): If you are into juvenile, gross-out humor in the same tradition as "Waiting" and "The 40 Year Old Virgin" this movie will be right up your alley. I thought it was hillarious. The movie revolves around a 30 + year old video game programmer who has been evicted from his apartment and is forced to move in with his grandmother and her 2 elderly (1 is a basketcase, the other a whore) roomates, while upholding his stoner, partying lifestyle. His workplace dynamic is very relatable as he is the oldest "geek" at the company in a sea of younger video game enthusiasts and one truly creepy prodigy. It is a lot of the same cast from films like Big Daddy and Happy Gilmore. Fortunately Adam Sandler does not make a cameo appearance.

Movie Review - United 93

United 93 (5 of 5): A tale of the ill-fated Flight 93 that crashed in a PA field on 9-11. We have all heard the heroic stories regarding the flight, and it's passengers, and imagined what it must have been like, and theorized on what we might have done in the situation. This movie makes no excuses, or political statements whatsoever. Simply a picture, and story of all the events that took place on the day of Sept. 11. In fact I became very angry watching it, seeing that the whole situation could have been avoided if it had not been for some serious military, FAA, and airline executive errors. Thankfully, relatively unknown actors were used in the portrayal of the story. At times it is hard to watch, from an emotional level, and due to the fact that ocassionally, the picture shakes like "The Blair Witch Project" and can make you a little queazy. The film is incredibly powerful, and serves as a stark reminder that there are a a lot of people in this world who would like to kill us all.

Movie Review - The Pink Panther (2005)

The Pink Panther (2005) (1 of 5): Why the hell did I watch this? Furthermore, why did Steve Martin, a very respected actor, writer, feel it was necessary to be involved in this? The story is not a sequel, or prequel to any of the former installments. It is more of a re-invention. The Pink Panther diamond has been stolen from the murdered coach of the French soccer team. Martin plays the bumbling Inspector Clouseau who is brought in as the lead investigator on the case. The attempts at Clouseau's patented physical comedy fail miserably. The falls, tripping, and general clumsiness that Peter Sellers brought to the franchise died with him. Other, more modernized attempts at humor including Clouseau surfing the internet, and references to him in adult chat rooms are just as embarrasing. Hopefully, Steve Martin signed onto this project to pay homage to a great comedian; Peter Sellers. Not to expand his acting career. Fingers crossed on "Cheaper By The Dozen 3".

Movie Review - Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas

Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas (4 of 5) : This is a weird movie about Johnny Depp as famous writer Hunter S. Thompson and Benicio Del Toro as his lawyer friend during their Las Vegas escapades during the 70s. Any curiosity I had in the use of recreational drugs has been satisfied after watching this movie. Just about every drug known to man was used. It presents such an education, the movie should probably be shown in Highschool health class. I liked it, but I am in to weird movies. Del Toro was great and, not surprisingly, Depp was perfect.

Movie Review - The Brothers Grimm

Brother's Grimm (2 of 5) : I gave this one a shot without much hope and was pretty much let down. It follows the Grimm Brothers as con artists who finally take a stand and do something honest by helping a town who is having its children kidnapped by a witch. You get to see the origins of the Grimm Fairytales as they happen to the brothers in their real life experiences. Sounds cool, but a poor story and crappy special effects make it rather boring.