Rant - Commercials

My typical night at the movies goes is a little something like this:

First, of course, I purchase my tickets – the MovieGuys do not endorse theatre hopping! Next, I might buy some popcorn and a drink for the little lady and me. After that, I’ll get in the theatre, find a seat (see MovieGuy #2’s previous rant about seating), and wait for the lights to dim. Unfortunately, it’s at that point, when the lights turn off, that I always start to get pissed. It never fails, every time… Right when the lights start dim… Right when I should be getting excited about the show starting, my urge to kill starts to rise.

The reason this happens to me is because, instead of a movie, I am treated with ten minutes of f@&king crappy ass, months old, television commercials! What the hell?

I HATE commercials in front of movies! Seriously, sitting through them drives me crazy. I am not a violent guy, but I literally have to squeeze the armrest next to me in order to keep myself from screaming at the screen in maniacal rage while punching my fist through the head of the guy in front of me. It’s bad enough that I am out $40.00 by the time I sit down in the theatre. Now, I have to pay money to watch crappy commercials too!? That doesn’t seem fair to me.

Seriously, do we need commercials in front of a movie? No, I don’t think we do. Don’t we get enough advertisements on TV, in magazines, and on the Internet (yes, I know Viagra is great, now leave me alone!)? Sure we do, and they are usually more up to date! Do you know how many times I have seen the same advertisement for Axe Body Spray, Levi’s Jeans and the Toyota Scion? WAY TOO MANY TIMES! So many times, in fact, that at one point I was actually contemplating buying a coffin, err, I mean Scion, squeezing my fat legs into a pair of tight fitted 501s and coating myself in a thin layer of Axe for a cruising night on the town! Thankfully, common sense prevailed.

Sure, commercials give movie theatre chains a little extra revenue to supplement today’s increasingly expensive film prints and decreasing audiences, but isn’t there another way? Anything besides showing commercials before the movies would be better. I know! How about theatre chains start selling Axe Body Spray, Levi’s Jeans, Lottery tickets and other advertised items right next to the JuJu Bees and Snow Caps in the concession counter! At least then, customers would have a choice.

Certainly, I am not the only person that hates commercials in front of their movies. Make yourselves heard! Let’s rise and put an end to this blasphemous movie practice. Let’s take back our movie going experience by eliminating the movie theatre commercials.