Movie Review - Mission Impossible 3

Mission Impossible 3 (3 of 5): Mission Impossible 3 is more of the same with a slight twist in character development this time around. You still get cool action scenes, people in costume, plot twists and a bit of mystery, but this time around we also get to see Ethan Hunt's character go all gah gah for a girl. He wants to get married and stay out of the "game". Of course, that's not going to happen and he gets pulled back in to the special agent lifestyle, this time to save his fiance and track down a super secret device called the "rabbits foot".

This movie did not live up to my expectations. There were some decent action scenes, but that was about it. Everything else seemed to be hashed out and a cookie cutter of what we expect. The movie didn't really attempt to do anything different except for show us the personal side of Ethan Hunt and get all lovey-dovey with his relationship. Really, it feels like they went out and made this movie in about one week. Everything just sort of felt like it was "been there, done that" territory. Remember the suspense of breaking into Langley Headquarters from the first Mission Impossible? In #3 that suspense was never re-created. This time, they break into the Vatican. The suspense is not there and too much falls into place for the characters.

Anyway, this is just a decent movie. The love story and a lack of suspense and innovation keep this movie from being really cool. Although, it definitely beats the pants off of the slow motion crap fest that was Mission Impossible 2.

Movie Review - Land of the Dead

Land of the Dead (2 of 5): Here is another suck-ass movie that I wasted my vacation watching. Why you ask? Not sure really. I guess I thought the potential for a cool zombie movie is pretty high today given all the cool special effects available to movie makers.

Although the special effects are pretty good in this movie and I do enjoy the over the top blood and gore, the story just never reaches the height it should. It's a shame too, because Land of the Dead starts off with good potential. The world has been taken over by zombies and only small groups of humans still live in camps and other communities around the globe. This premise would have been enough to make a cool movie about survival in this harsh new reality. Too bad...

Instead, the viewer is treated to a stupid plot about a guy who just wants to get out of town. But before he can do that he has to kill an acquaintence and former work collegue for the evil reining big-wig controlling the human settlement. If this story is not dumb enough, then add the fact that the zombies are starting to learn! They are getting smarter, organizing and rebelling against the human settlements. Lemme tell you, smart zombies start to look and sound a lot like human retards, drooling and moaning everywhere. Before long, you'll think your watching the special olympics. All of this makes for one LAME movie.

Movie Review - Doom

Doom (1 of 5): Well, here is a 1.5 hour long waste of time and potential. Of course, I knew it was going to be bad before watching it, but I was saddened by just how bad it gets. The "marines" are a laughable group led by Duane "The Rock" Johnson of WWF fame. The marines in Predator or Aliens would wipe the floor clean with Doom's marines. The acting is terrible to sub-par throughout. The special effects aren't bad, but they are definitely low budget.

However, the thing that makes me the most disappointed with this movie is that it screwed up what should have been easy. All you have to do to make a good Doom movie is to copy the original Doom game! That means have a one man team go in to save the scientists who has to fight hordes and hordes of beasties. Instead, we are treated to a movie version of Doom 3 that does not acknowledge Doom or Doom 2 at all. Alternatively, it offers only three different monsters, no gore, no cool weapons being used (BFG is totally wasted in this movie) and a dysfunctional group of idiot marines who you just want to see die already.

Don't waste your time. Find Doom and Doom 2 and play through those games again. You'll get more enjoyment playing them.

Top Five Christmas Movies

Okay folks, here we go. The 2 Movie Guys Top Five Christmas Movies list. If you have not seen these movies, consider yourself a scrooge.

1. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
2. A Christmas Story
3. Scrooged
4. Elf
5. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the cartoon, not that live action pile of shit)

There ya go. Although they are all comedies, those are the best Christmas movies for your money.

Merry Christmas!

PS - Special thanks to Bob & Randy who helped out with this list.

Movie Review - The Vanishing (1988)

The Vanishing (4 of 5): This is a pretty cool foreign movie about a man who obsessively searches for his girlfriend for three years after she disappears at a rest stop while the two are on a road trip. His investigation draws the attention of her abductor who is a mild-mannered professor and family man. Using flashbacks, the movie shows how the kidnapper carefully plans the woman's abduction and contacts the boyfriend, promising to reveal to him the woman's fate.

This movie was pretty cool because it explored both the pursuits of the boyfriend trying to find his girlfriend and the sociopathic pursuits of the abductor. This approach really makes you get a better feel for the characters and understand the abductor's thoughts a little more. He becomes more human and a lot scarier as a result. Anyway, this is my kind of thriller/horror movie - completely believable, scary and sticks with your subconscious for days. Its great psychological horror.

I have not seen the Sandra Bullock/Jeff Bridges remake of this movie, buy I hear it sucks in comparison. I won't ruin the end of the movie, but I will say it is pretty cool. In the end, both the boyfriend and the abductor get what they want, and more.

Movie Review - Borat

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (5 of 5): As if the title is not evidence enough, this movie exists in a world of its own. I imagine people either really hate it or they really love it with no in between. I personally fall into the later category. and think that Borat is the funniest movie I have seen in the last five years. Actually, probably longer than that. Borat is, without a doubt, one of the top five funniest movies I have ever seen my entire life!

Know this...

• Sacha Baron Cohen is brilliant as Borat - his Da Ali G Show Season 1 & 2 as well as Ali G Indahouse have shot up to the top of my rental list.
  
• Americans can be very ugly, rude, pathetic, blabbering, prejudiced fools.
• Naked-man wrestling is both utterly repulsive and side-splittingly hilarious.

Borat is just pure laughter wrapped up in a nice little 1.5 hr movie. There, that is all you need to know. My review is over. You should go to the theater right now and pray this movie is still playing.

Television Review - The Office: Season 2

The Office: Season 2 (5 of 5): I noticed this TV show really seemed to catch on with the public towards the mid to latter half of season 2, and it has been advertised heavily during the current season 3 episodes. That's good because it is one of the funniest shows on television right now. Recently, I got a chance to make my way through season 2 and get caught up on some of the episodes I missed during the TV run. It was time well spent. The series picks up from where the first left off, but this season the writing is better and the characters are a lot funnier.

There are a lot of great episodes in this season 2 series. The Dundies, Christmas Party, The Booze Cruise, Dwight's Speech and Drug Testing are just some of the episodes that made me laugh the most. I love the characters that have been created in this show. They all have their own qualities and are distinctly different from each other, allowig them all to be funny for different reasons. Over the long-run, this really keeps the show fresh each week. The other nice thing about this comedy is that it has some poignant moments that help to ground the characters and offset all the laughs and funny, but uncomfortable, situations. The relationship between Pam and Jim is extremely well written and the characters of Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute are perfectly played by Steve Carell and Rainn Wilson, respectively.

Remember, the American version of The Office is based on Ricky Gervais's enormously successful BBC sitcom of the same name. The BBC show is excellent. So, if you are a fan of the American version, I strongly encourage you to see the BBC counterpart because it too is hilarious. Don't ask me which version is better though. Prior to season 2, I thought the BBC version was better, but now, I honestly think they are both excellent in their own right.

Big Time Updating

Well, school is done for the semester. So, that means that MovieGuy #1 is going to have a lot more free time to make posts to this incredible blog. Too bad MovieGuy#2 is still incognito with his super secret agent training (oh, what our tax dollars pay for...).

Anyway, check out the new movie reviews that are up. You can expect many more to follow within the days and weeks ahead. We have also added labels to our posts for easier site navigation. Want to see all of our 1 star reviews? Now you can!

We need to spice things up a little more here though. Too many reviews can get boring. So, more rants are planned and also some more top 5/10 lists.

Ideas are welcome! After all, this site is dedicated to its millions of fans. Remember, this is YOUR blog!

MovieGuy #1

Movie Review - Thank You For Smoking

Thank You For Smoking (3 of 5): I got a chance to check this movie out the other night and was a little disappointed. I should have listened to MovieGuy #2 who said it was just mediocre but it was already on my Netflix list and being delivered. This movie is a satirical dark comedy about the cigarette industry. It follows the exploits of a smooth talking lobbyist who is working to promote smoking in the movies while trying to remain a role model for his young son. There are some funny moments in this movie, particularly the scenes with Rob Lowe as a movie producer, but for the most part this movie is so dry and satirical that it leaves the audience without much more than a smirk.