Movie Review - Sunshine

Sunshine (3 of 5): Last Monday night, I had the opportunity to go to Chicago to check out an advanced screening of Sunshine before its wide release on July 20th. Sunshine is set 50 years into the future and follows a group of scientists and astronauts in their voyage to re-start our solar system’s dying sun. Along the way, the crew encounters the original ship that was sent to perform their task seven years prior and a horror that lies in wait.

Sunshine is a science fiction movie with horror elements introduced into the third act. I liked the science fiction, but I didn’t like the horror. It’s obvious that a lot of thought, consultation and time was spent to create a world that feels as though it could exist 50 years from now. There are some very interesting and cool scenes that the science fiction elements of the movie make possible. Unfortunately, in the end, the horror elements of the third act ruined my full enjoyment of this film. Its not that I dislike horror, but I think that Sunshine would have been better as just a pure science fiction film without the horror elements that seemed out of place and almost silly.

Performances are pretty good all around. The actors and actresses succeed in drawing moviegoers into the film to make them feel like they are a part of the crew on the ship. If you pay close attention you’ll notice that even the sun is presented as an actor in this movie, which is cool. Of course, this being a Danny Boyle film, the score and sound effects are terrific, although not as good as in some of his previous movies, i.e. Millions, 28 Days Later and Trainspotting. The special effects are also very good for a lower budget film, fully convincing me of their reality.

Overall, Sunshine is worth a viewing if you are a fan of space/science fiction movies - there just aren’t a lot of them out there these days, so we have to take what we can get. The story is unique, there are many exciting scenes, and the “science” of the film seems legitimate and interesting. Unfortunately, the third act of this movie is quite a departure from the rest of the film and I have a feeling will distract many people from a complete enjoyment of the movie.

PS - After the movie was over, the audience was treated to a Q & A session with the director, Danny Boyle. I expect to write up my thoughts on that portion of the evening within the next week, so stay tuned!

Advance Screening of Sunshine

Tomorrow night I will be going to Chicago to catch an advance screening of Danny Boyle's new movie Sunshine. After the screening, there is a Q & A session with Danny Boyle.

Of course, I will have a preview up on 2MovieGuys before the film hits wide release on Friday. Also, I hope to share some insights from the director.

Stay Tuned!

I Hate Fruit of the Loom

From this day forward, I will never EVER buy Fruit of the Loom underwear; not even undershirts.

During the 25 minutes (I shit you not) of commercials and previews I was treated to before Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix last night, a Fruit of the Loom commercial came on that almost sent me over the edge of sanity. It was one of the company's "music video" commercials that I have seen on TV. However, instead of being an easily tuned out 30 seconds long, this one was a whopping five times that at almost 2.5 minutes long! It is probably the worst example I have seen of a commercial playing in front of a movie, and is a perfect representation of my utter hatred and anger of having to sit through this crap before a film starts.

Unfortunately, since I couldn't find it on either YouTube or Google Video, I can't post the utter disgrace of an ad for your viewing pleasure. However, if you are interested in getting a taste of the pain and misery you'll soon be treated to in your local multiplex, check out the Fruit of the Loom website. The music video in question is called "Apple of My Eye".

Ten commercials and five previews added 25 minutes to the run time of Harry Potter Last night. This madness must end!

Happy Friday the 13th

Outside of Halloween and Flag Day, this is my favorite holiday. Wait, I'm being told it's not in fact a holiday. Regardless, this date always begs the never ending question: Who would win in a real battle for supremacy? Jason certainly has the longevity, but he has never had a DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince sing a song about him. My vote is for Jason. Freddy can't really hurt you until you sleep, and I am guessing that since Jason Vorhees is technically dead, and resides mostly at the bottom of Crystal Lake, that he doesn't actually sleep. I swear to god, if some creepy, virgin fanboy emails me on a technicality regarding when Freddy Krueger can kill during waking hours....

So go forth and celebrate. I like to lurk around in the woods waiting for horny teenagers to wander too far from camp. When I do it on Friday the 13th, it seems more natural.

Rant - The Summer of Threequels

For anybody paying attention, I think you’ll agree that there has been an obnoxious amount of sequels hitting theatres this spring and summer – mostly part 3s, or as I like to call them: Threequels (no, I did not coin the term).

We have already seen releases of threequels to Ocean’s 11, Spider-Man, Shrek, and Pirates of the Caribbean. Rest assured there is still more on the way. What’s the deal with all these threequels you ask? Well, most studios consider them a guaranteed payday since these films continue established franchises that have already performed very well at the box-office. Beyond that, I have to speculate. One thing I do know for sure though is that threequels have a remarkable history of sucking ass and de-railing their previously successful movie franchises. Take a look at some examples:

Jaws 3…SUCKED! Shrek 3…BLEW! X-Men 3…AWFUL! Spider-Man 3…LAME! Terminator 3…LICKED IT! Batman 3…CRAP! Beverly Hills Cop 3…TERRIBLE! Rambo 3…DEAR GOD! Godfather 3…SPARE US! Superman 3…FUGLY! Matrix 2 & 3 (written and filmed at same time)…HORRIBLE! Alien 3… DISASTER!



All of these movie franchises, and so many more, have had undeniably good first and second movies, followed by a shitty threequel. I am sure you can come up with your own examples as well. Go ahead… So, are we seeing a pattern here? I sure am. But why must the threequel so often be doomed to failure?

I think a lot of these movie franchises suffered because, as their popularity grew, too many people within the industry (writers, producers, studio execs, etc.) began to try to affiliate themselves with these money making movies. As a result, too many people try to have a say in the movie and end up watering down what made the first and second movies great. Just look at Spider-Man 3. Director Sam Raimi has been quoted as saying he hates Venom and did not want to use him in the movie. However, studio executives forced him to cater to fanboy demands and we were treated to a bloated film with too many story lines and characters.

Additionally, expanding budgets of each consecutive movie makes wasting time and money a lot easier and encourages crap writing, performances, etc. just so a quick paycheck can be collected. The Matrix sequels are a great example. Part 2 and 3 (filmed together) had one of the largest budgets of their time – they built a two mile strip of fake interstate at a cost of $2.5 million for god’s sake! What did all that money and concrete produce? Two crappy movies that feel like a rushed departure from the perfection created in the first.

Finally, I think that these threequel franchises have a tendency to suck the life out of the creative talent behind them. Writers, directors and even actors can spend up to a year or more working on each film. Picture doing that for three movies in a row and that can easily be five years of your life, depending on the production pace. Think about it: writer/producer/director George Lucas spent around 10 years producing the three Star Wars prequels! Who wants to spend five years or more of their life directing the same movie over and over again, only this time making it bigger, louder and faster? Usually what happens is that creative talent that made the first two movies great bails out on the third, handing the reins over to a people who have no clue and no love for the original material. This is precisely the path to suckville that X-Men, Terminator and Batman took.

We are even starting to see more planned threequels now. I think Back to the Future may have started this trend, and it has gained momentum with sequels to The Matrix, Pirates of the Caribbean and Lord of the Rings all filming their second and third movies at the same time. This saves the studios money through economies of scale, increases turn-around time and reduces burn-out of the creative talent. I imagine with the success of The Transformers that a similar approach will be taken with its sequels in hopes of releases in 2009 and 2010; and remember, we already know that Shrek 4 & 5 are currently in pre-production.

As we can see, just depending on sequels as a sure bet does not have a good performance track record. Its time for Hollywood to come to the realization that fresh talent and creative writing and ideas need to be injected into the studio system more often. Otherwise, each year we are going to be treated to more and more sequels of consistently degrading quality - like the planned sure fire hits of The Mummy 3 and Fantastic Four 3.

Anyway, I need to go mark my calendar for the threequel releases of Rush Hour, The Bourne Identity and Resident Evil; all coming out later this year!!

What other crappy threequels can you think of? Go ahead, share them in our comments section.

UPDATE!! (7/16/07) - Speaking of sequels, Variety has a nice article that talks about a variety (heh heh) of films coming out through 2010. Some sequels, but not tons of them! There is hope! Check out the article HERE

DOH! - We Lost

Well, it sounds like Springfield, IL put up the good fight, but to no avail. Our capitol city was entered into the running for hosting The Simpsons Movie premiere. It was one of 14 Springfield cities across the United States that participated in the contest by submitting a 3-5 minute video demonstrating their Simpsons spirit. The videos were then voted upon.





This from IMDB:

The world premiere of The Simpsons Movie will be held in Springfield, Vermont, after the town beat out 14 other Springfields to land the honor...

...The Vermont town, which has a population of 9,300, won an online vote and will become Simpsons central on July 21.

...Springfield, Vermont received 15,367 votes, beating Springfield, Illinois, which received 14,634 votes.

Movie Review - Smokin' Aces

Smokin’ Aces (3 of 5): In an effort to feed my recent craving for high-octane action movies, I checked out Smokin’ Aces. Basically, this movie is about two FBI agents trying to protect a mob snitch from various hitmen who are all trying to collect the contract on his head before he testifies against the mob.

Thankfully, I wasn’t totally let down by this film. Actually, this movie was better than I was expecting. Smokin’ Aces is one of those ultra-stylistic, large cast, action shoot ‘em ups that directors like Quentin Tarantino and Guy Ritchie have made popular. However, it really only feels like what would be left on the cutting room floor of a Quentin Tarantino or Guy Ritchie film. Sure, you can make a movie out of it, and it’ll be entertaining, but it’s not great because all the really great scenes have already been used.

After a questionable first few minutes of actors seeming to act WAAY to cool and many character introductions complete with super-cool “stop the movie and splash the name of the character on the screen” effects, Smokin’ Aces settles down into a watchable groove. Characters do their thing, come and go, and present the story with a fluidness that can only be offered by the excellent editing this film provides to such a long character list. Unexpectedly, you get to know each character a little and even start to sympathize some with some. Don’t get too attached though because bullets start flyin’ and people start dyin’. Just what you expect!

The performances are certainly competent in this film. Alicia Keys shows some talent and Andy Garcia plays the same stoned face character he did in Ocean’s 11 (only this time with a crappy accent). Jeremy Pivens produces some surprisingly emotional scenes and Ben Affleck simply succeeds in not annoying the crap out of me. The two actors that get the most screen time seem to be Ray Liota and Ryan Reynolds. Ray Liota does a fine job and gives a realistic performance. Ryan Reynolds actually has to hold up a lot of this movie and in that regard he succeeds. His tough guy “I have facial hair now which means I am older and not a funny actor anymore” image works much more in this movie than it did in the abortion of a film that was Blade Trinity.

All in all, this is a fun movie. It is a little overly long, kind of busy, and I don’t particularly like the melodramatic and fairly predictable ending, but if you overlook those aspects I think there is some fun and entertainment to be had watching this flick. Bullets definitely fly, chaos ensues and there are some surprises along the way, so make sure you are in the mood for action when you rent Smokin’ Aces.

Eli Roth - Haunted By His Closet

The 2 MovieGuys' Eli Roth expose continues...

In case you thought we were lying when we tried to expose the talentless Eli Roth last week, rest assured that others out there in the realm of the Internet agree. During my research on Eli, I found an article at HorrorYearBook.com that exposes his gayness through an intriguing review of his three films (Cabin Fever, Hostel & Hostel II) and his Grindhouse (Thanksgiving) trailer. Using examples pulled from his films, the author perfectly illustrates how Eli is in fact living in the closet. It is quite an interesting, humorous and eye opening read. From the article:

...There is a HUGE streak of misogyny and homophobia present in all of his films. Women are demeaned at every turn and there are instances-o-plenty of the pejorative use of the word “Gay” and some reliance on the word “Faggot.” Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not some easily offended PC wuss, but Jesus Christ, Roth GOES OUT OF HIS WAY to do it! To me, rampant hatred of women and homosexual men only means one thing… Eli Roth is probably gay.

...It’s like two guys saying “FUCK THEM QUEERS! Now let’s oil up and do squat-thrusts in front of each other!”

...I don’t even need to say it, but the shot of the knife going into the Cheerleader’s “Mahmoud Poonaninejad.” For God’s sake, what did the vagina ever do to Eli Roth for him to hate it so?

Check out the full article here: Dr. Royce Talks Eli Roth. It is funny, insightful and well worth the read, especially for anybody who actually thinks Eli Roth is A) talented and B) straight.

Movie Review - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (4 of 5): A few months back I watched the first two movies of Sergio Leone’s The Man With No Name Trilogy (see those reviews here and here). The Good, The Bad and the Ugly finishes this trilogy of spaghetti westerns off in style. Set during the American civil war, Clint Eastwood’s character forges an uneasy alliance with a bandit in order to find 200,000 of buried Confederate gold.

The Good… is a great flick. It has an engrossing story, good shoot-outs, awesome characters, and even a few lines of humor too. It is also a beautifully filmed movie. The widescreen shots of the desert southwest are just breathtaking and set a wonderful tone for the film as a whole. Also, the sound in this film, as in the others, is really awesome. The sound of this movie has to be the king of Western films. I mean, who doesn’t recognize “aww-yee, aww-yee, awww, whah, whah, whah”? (well, maybe you don’t recognize it spelled out like that, but you do if you have seen this movie)

As I mentioned, the story is great, but it does get a little too elaborate for its own good. Having the civil war scenes throughout the movie and the extended scenes of character development are just too much in some instances. Some of these scenes just don’t add anything to the movie as a whole and only prolong the ultimate climax. Overall, I felt his film is longer than it needs to be.

But how about that climax!? It is arguably one of the best showdowns in Western movie cinema. The tension that it builds is just incredible and really fun to watch. I had a really good time watching The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Although I have seen parts of it throughout my childhood, it was nice to finally sit down and watch it all through.

It's Official - Eli Roth is a Fag!!

Continuing our attack on Eli Roth, I noticed that Danny Boyle has something to say about the so called horror writer/director. And since I love to cream all over Danny Boyle, here is what he said...

This from the New York Daily News:

"Trainspotting" helmer Danny Boyle says Eli Roth, who directed the horror film "Hostel," isn't very good.

"His movies aren't even particularly well done," he told us at a screening of his "Sunshine," out July 20. "They're not even scary. They're horrible, but that's not scary. It's not suspense. And if you watch my films in detail, there's actually not a lot of violence in them. You get numb with violence very quickly."

So, it's official. Danny Boyle agrees with us. Eli Roth is a fag.

Movie Review - 16 Blocks

16 Blocks (3 of 5): In 16 Blocks, Bruce Willis plays Jack Mosley, an aging alcoholic cop who is tasked with escorting Eddie Bunker (played by Mos Def), a prosecution witness, from police custody to a nearby courthouse. Neither one recognizes that powerful forces exist intent on keeping them from reaching their destination. They even start to wonder if they will be lucky to make it to the courthouse alive.

16 Blocks is a decent film with solid performances by Mos Def, Bruce Willis and David Morse. When this movie started I was expecting a been-there, done-that, run-of-the-mill film. However, after a gripping sequence during the first action scene in this movie, I knew 16 Blocks was going to be a little different. I ended up being pleasantly surprised to see that 16 Blocks is deeper than your normal action/thriller film. The characters in this movie really shine. They are developed well and are much more interesting than you would expect of a movie of this caliber. There are of course some good action scenes, but they are appropriately spaced out with some compelling moments and a fitting ending.

These types of movies are hard to classify sometimes. Basically, I did not feel I watched anything superb after finishing 16 Blocks, but I would hardly call it a waste of time. It is solid and decent entertainment that is worth a couple hours of your time. In the same respect though, it also feels like one of those movies that, in about five years, we'll see playing on TBS ten times a day for weeks on end.

PS - Yes, the voice that Mos Def decides to use for his character is really annoying.

Rant - Enough Already

Has it been 15 minutes yet? Are we almost done with this current fad of torture/gore horror films? Seriously, raise your hand if you don't know what blood looks like by now.

I'm not sure why Tarantino got himself dragged into this mindless type of movie making. He actually has some writing and artistic talent. His acting blows, but as long as he isn't on screen too much it's tolerable. His recent double feature went pretty much un-viewed by most American viewers. His defensive to poor U.S. Box Office numbers: "A lot of American movie-goers can't appreciate these types of films, and don't have the sophistication of British viewers". Are you fucking kidding me? Listening to all the pre-movie hype and interviews with Tarantino, he talked about what a tribute, and throw-back to old 70's and early 80's horror movies the film would be. Guess what Quentin? There is a reason those types of movies aren't made anymore; no one likes them. Thanks for re-creating an obsolete movie genre, then insulting me for being too stupid to appreciate it.

Next is Eli Roth. Creator of such "classics" as Hostel, and Hostel 2. To be fair, I haven't seen either film, and I never will. I already have a pretty good working knowledge of what the inside of someone looks like, and personally don't find watching someone being tortured and mutilated to be that scary. This idiot actually begged and pleaded on his Myspace site after his movie Hostel 2 has only made to date: 17 million, for fans of the film to "go see the movie again, and bring a non-horror fan and try to covert them." He went on to say that the "R-rated movie was going to die with this film if more people don't go see it, and we will all be stuck with PG-13 crap." PG-13 rated movies are not killing the horror movie. It's the fact that that there weren't that many Marilyn Manson loving, molested by their uncle, viewers out there to begin with. And the rest of the people who ever watched this garbage were merely curious, and have since realized that there are only so many ways you can film a handcuffed victim being mutilated before it gets old.

Rodriguez gets a pass because his only error was the double feature with Tarantino. And like Tarantino, he has had a part in movies that I really liked. From Dusk Till Dawn, Desperado, Four Rooms, and Once Upon A Time In Mexico.

Overall, there is one glaring hypocritical point to be made with these movies. These 3 have been all over the media, bashing the current state of horror movies, claiming that the industry has become "cookie-cutter" in nature, and every new horror movie is the same as the last. Really? Clearly this means that SAW I, II, III, Hostel I, II, Turistas, See No Evil, and Captivity were all wildly original? Each of these films is nothing more than the next attempt to shock an audience with nudity and mindless gore. How about writing a story with a plot, and character development.

Not pictured: Rob Zombie, and his ridiculous brand of movie making. This douche nozzle is in another league. To his credit there is at least an attempt at a plot line and character development, but seriously, this guy needs to go get some therapy. It's nice to see that he is almost finished ruining the Halloween franchise. On the surface, that last sentence sounded ridiculous; Halloween ruined itself with endless sequels, however, once again, Rob Zombie and the aforementioned "geniuses" don't appreciate that horror movies (and Halloween is an excellent example) don't need massive amounts of blood and gore to be scary. Seriously, Rob Zombie just needs to make up with his dad and forgive his parents for divorcing, or whatever else caused his dementia. I would give him a cute little puppy dog if I didn't think he would sodomize and eat it.

Movie Review - Session 9

Session 9 (2 of 5): Session 9 centers around five hazardous materials workers who are cleaning asbestos out of an abandoned mental illness hospital. One of the workers finds some old tapes to listen to that chronicle the sessions that a mentally ill patient had with her doctor. As the patient’s story is slowly explained, one of the workers disappears and other things start to happen that make the workers start to question each other.

That’s all I will bother telling you about, because you’ll never watch this movie. At least I hope you won’t. Session 9 is boring with no real payoff or scares. Although its tone is generally creepy, as a whole the film feels more like a poorly produced made for TV movie. The film was shot in a real life abandoned mental hospital, but the weak story and scares sure don’t justify the expense this production probably went to in order to shoot at that location. There are maybe three creepy scenes in this movie and only one of them really scared me.

Other than that it is an utter waste of two hours. Although, the film is generally eerie and tense throughout, there is no payoff that makes it worthy of your time. What should have been a very cool premise for a horror movie was ultimately handled poorly and turned into a less than stellar film.

Quarterly Top 5 - 3rd Quarter 2007

This quarter slows down a little bit, which seems to be typical of the late summer months. Hollywood usually blows its wad early in May and June, leaving us with a strangely unsatisfied and hollow feeling until fall. Until the Oscar season strikes up this fall though, I think there are still going to be some good movies coming out over the next three months.

Here are our five most anticipated movies to see this quarter. As always, click on the movie title to jump to the movie's website for a trailer viewing.

MovieGuy #1:

1. Transformers - Battle to destroy the evil forces of... The Decepticons! This movie is gonna be a blast.
   
2. Superbad - This movie looks hilarious and co-stars Michael Cera (Arrested Development) whose comedic timing is freaking outstanding.
   
3. Sunshine - A science fiction movie directed by Danny Boyle - count me in.
   
4. The Bourne Ultimatum- I have found enough to entertain in the first two Jason Bourne movies. This one looks good too, but hopefully without the camera jerkiness.
   
5. Charlie Bartlett - Hearing more and more good things about this movie. Apparently harkens back to the likes of Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, etc.