Movie Review - The Descent

The Descent (5 of 5): It is my great pleasure to give this movie such a high rating because it is uncommon for me to really get into the horror genre. Most horror movies just don't scare me, so when I find one that does, it is a a real treat.

The Descent is a film about six women who like to go on outdoor/extreme trips (think: Mountain Dew commercials with women) This time they are going on a caving trip. Supposedly he trip is going to be a nice easy trek at a cave for novices. However, after an accident, some startling revelations, and the discovery of a population of subterranean human-like monsters, the trip goes sour. As expected, one by one the girls get picked off, but not after a good fight. Refreshingly, these women know how to defend themselves and they aren't afraid to fight for their lives. One or two stand out and make it to the end, but I won't give away more than that.

This is a terrific movie. The suspense is allowed to build and the cave monsters never feel like the main push of the film - they aren't even introduced until well into the movie. Instead the tension is allowed to build, first with the darkness that fills the caves, then with the tight claustrophobic spaces the women crawl through, and finally with the introduction and fight for survival against the monsters. The pace works perfectly to really get the audience wrapped up. And you'll stay engaged too! Thankfully, the are few, if any, of those classic horror movie moments when the characters make stupid, irrational decisions that leave you wondering "WTF?".

Check this movie out and make sure you watch it in complete darkness with surround sound. It is a great survival horror flick that I guarantee will have you thinking twice about ever going in a cave.

Movie Review - The Illusionist

The Illusionist (2 of 5): This film is set in early 1900s Vienna and centers on a magician who falls for an aristocrat well above his social standing. They fall in love, but when she becomes engaged to the Crown Prince, the master magician must use his powers to free her from her unwanted marriage.

Pretty basic story really, with the added element of magic. There are some strong actors in this movie (Ed Norton, Paul Giamatti) and they do their best, but the material just doesn't justify their work or their forced period accents. When it all comes down to it, this movie fails as both a drama and a mystery.

I never felt like I really cared about the characters because the stories all felt too rushed, especially the love story. Also, early in the movie you can pretty much figure out exactly how this one is going to play out. Then, the end offers this big "M. Night Shyamalan-esque" reveal as the inspector pieces everything together, which just comes across as hoaky and unnecessary. Finally, I hated how there was no explanation at all of how the Illusionist was performing his tricks! I understand that magicians need to have their secrets (even in movies), but there was absolutely no description of how he was pulling off some major illusions. This is very frustrating because the movie leads you to believe that he has supernatural powers and can conjure up dead spirits yet never explains if that is the case. Add to these complaints a handful of plot-holes and you have yourself a pretty mediocre movie.

Skip this one. Instead, I encourage you to watch last year's other magician movie, The Prestige. It was far superior.

Tom Arnold Quiz

I caught some of Jay Leno last night and saw that Tom Arnold was at some movie festival giving away free swag to people who would do stupid things or answer silly questions. Well, one of the questions he asked a young lady was to name three movies in which he has acted. She couldn't think of one.

Ever so briefly, I considering how demoralizing that might have been to Tom... then, I laughed.

After laughing at his expense for awhile, my wife and I decided to play along by trying to actually come up with three movies in which Tom Arnold has acted, without consulting IMDB or other online sources. What we found out was that answering that question was a lot harder than you would think. I came up with True Lies pretty quick and my wife chimed in with Big Bully (how did she know that?). Beyond that, we were quickly stumped. I thought he was in some Christmas movie too, like Jingle All the Way; but my wife, confusing my genius for psychosis, insists I am crazy.

Now, I turn to you, oh faithful Tom Arnold fan(s) (you know who you are). Without cheating, can you think of any other movies he has been in? I think (and hope) you will find this task is harder than it sounds.

Labyrinth Access... DENIED!?

If there is one movie that I want to see right now, it is Pan's Labyrinth. Unfortunately though, I'm not sure if I will be able to see this sweet-ass looking movie in the theater because I can't seem to find a theater near me that is playing it!

It feels like this movie has been out for awhile and that my time is running out. The movie's website insists the film is playing in theaters everywhere right now, with an even broader release taking place this Friday, but I am not too sure. If by "everywhere" it means "everywhere BUT Champaign, IL" then I guess that's no lie.

How far am I going to have to drive to see this film? Will it be released at one of our big theaters this weekend? Or, will the local art theater in town limit its playing of Rocky Balboa and Blood Diamond (yes, I said art theater) and play Pan's Labyrinth?

Stay tuned...

Oscar Nomination Prelude

Heard today that the Producer's Guild of America awarded Little Miss Sunshine with their Best Picture of 2006 award. Sometimes these award shows can be good precursors of what we can expect for the Academy Awards, but not all the time. For example, last year the PGA gave best picture to Brokeback Mountain (MG #2s favorite movie), while the Academy's Oscar went to Crash.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences releases their Oscar nominations tomorrow.

Rant - New MPAA Rating Guidlines

I heard on the radio this morning that the Motion Picture Association of America is going to be revising some of its movie rating guidelines within the next couple of months. Apparently, the revisions will be mainly focused on providing better information to parents so that they can protect their kiddies from too much exposure to sex and violence. The new system will also enact a new system of precedence, meaning that the rating of a current movie can be justified based of ratings of previously released similar movies.

The last time the MPAA made revisions to the movie rating system was 16 years ago. Since then, the movie industry has changed quite a bit. Independent films have really gained public acceptance, violence and sex are more predominant, and content has become more mature. Therefore, it is probably a good thing that changes to the rating system are being made in order to keep it up to date with the present.

Though, I remain skeptical that any changes will improve the already screwed up rating system. Currently, I think independent films are usually unfairly and too harshly judged, violence is allowed but sexual situations force an automatic "R", and the true content of movies can be as confusing to discern as ever.

The MPAA really needs to totally junk its current rating system and just start over with a fresh look. However, without a total shift in the paradigm, I doubt this will ever happen. Right now, the secret MPAA ratings board is filled with too many studio execs that are only out to serve their own best interests, not those of the public.

What do you think? Have you seen any movies that you feel were unfairly rated?

Quarterly Top Five - 1st Quarter 2007

You can bet a lot of movies will be released in 2007. Many of them will be great and a lot more will be stinkers. To help you sort through the mess, 2MovieGuys is going to highlight our most anticipated top 5 new releases for each quarter of 2007. By sticking to this list you should have no worries about wasting your hard earned scratch.

Without further ado, here is a list of our most anticipated movie releases over the next three months. In April, we'll revise the list for April-June. Click on the title to go to the movie website and watch a trailer.

MovieGuy #1:

1. Children of Men
   
2. Pan's Labyrinth
3. The Good Shepherd
4. 300
   
5. Arthur & The Invisibles

Movie Review - Super Troopers

Super Troopers (4 of 5): This is a funny movie. The Broken Lizard gang makes a lot of good cop jokes and keeps the gags rolling. I especially enjoyed the opening first few minutes in which two of the state troopers were messing with some doped up kids they pulled over. My other favorite part of the movie was when a couple of the troopers stopped at a fast food restaurant and ordered some food. The employee of the restaurant is utterly hilarious in the way he delivers his lines - totally dead-pan and sarcastic. Of course, you have to have an obligatory love story in these movies, and Super Troopers doesn't fail to deliver. Thankfully, it is not hard to stomach and there are some pretty funny moments between the love interests. Get over the mediocre story and you'll have fun with this movie.

"Did you just say meow"?