Movie Review - Adventureland

Adventureland (5 of 5): Trailer I think that one of the laziest things to do when reviewing a movie is to note the similarities it shares with others. Thankfully, Adventureland is not like many other movies that have been released as of late; and the poor marketing it received, billed it as "Superbad at the amusement park". This comparison, although not necessarily a bad thing, is not really warranted, Adventureland stands alone and is far superior in wit and feeling.

Adventureland tells the story of James, the recent college graduate who, due to a family financial crisis is forced to postpone his summer of traveling Europe before embarking onto graduate school in New York. After discovering that his minimal employment history, combined with a degree in comparative English literatue, makes him rather "un-hireable"; James takes a job at the local amusement park as a game vendor...not rides, big difference.

It is easy to empathize with the nightmare it must be to work at an amusement park. Dead of summer heat, minimum wage, rude, inconsiderate douchebag members of the public, and the most overlooked aggravation of all; being present in that environment while the same obnoxious over-played song repeats itself all day long. (In the movie it is "Rock Me Amadeus over and over. After working two state fairs I have hateful feelings towards Justin Timberlake songs)

The cast of characters working at the park are truly hillarious. The main plotline consists of James falling in love with an emotionally unavailable Emily; perhaps the most wonderful female lead I have seen in years. The inevitable love triangle insues; actually more of a square, both main charcters have other intimacy choices. The beautiful thing about Adventureland is that the cast of characters, although probably generically defined as "geeks' or "nerds" and are as socially awkward as it gets; are lovable and easy to connect with. It seems like so many movies utilizing these types of characters only develop them just enough for a laugh, when the laugh is over, they just seem pathetic. Adventureland shows that despite being a geek (speaking as one) you aren't necessarily crippled by your awkwardness and are unable to win a kiss from the girl.

Maybe because I identified with the main character so well, or that the movie was set in the mid 80's, the setting of my childhood, or perhaps the fact that the soundtrack contains a Whitesnake song; Adventureland gets my vote for the best movie that I have personally seen this year. If you were a teen in the 80's, or ever had a dead-end job that you were too smart to be in, you will really appreciate this movie.

Dedication: This review is dedicated to a girl I once knew...she was the most confusing, enigmatic girl I have ever known, but provided for a unique summer of my own.

Movie Review - True Romance

True Romance (5 of 5): I got a chance to watch True Romance again over the weekend. The film follows Clarence (Christian Slater) and Alabama (Patricia Arquette) who meet each other and fall instantly in love. When Clarence kills Alabama's pimp, the newlyweds ride off into the sunset with $5 million worth of stolen cocaine. Of course, with that much stolen drugs, the police and the mob are hot on their trail.

True Romance is a very entertaining movie. The screenplay was written by Quentin Tarantino, so that should give you an idea of the energy this film exudes. It is really kinetic and engaging, with scenes of light-heartedness/fun and also scenes of violence/hardship. You are also treated to an all-star cast of great performances. Names like Samuel Jackson, Gary Oldman and Dennis Hopper to name just a few (can you figure out who plays Elvis?). Finally, there are some great action scenes in this film that are built up to explosive levels of tension before their violent and bloody conclusions.

If you want to call it one of Quentin Tarantino’s movies, then it is one of his best – tight, to the point and engaging. True Romance is definitely in a league of its own and can be enjoyed through multiple viewings.

Movie Review - Knocked Up

Knocked Up (5 of 5): Easily, the funniest movie of the year thus far. The story involves a guy who manages to have a one night stand with a beautiful girl, who is way out of his league. Several weeks down the road she discovers she is pregnant. The rest of the movie revolves around how this pot smoking slacker handles the responsibility of impending fatherhood.

The best part of the film is seeing different elements of yourself in the characters. The characters are incredibly realistic and believable. You could be the hot, career minded woman who slips up, has a one night stand with a loser, gets pregnant, and has no idea what to do with her life. Maybe you are an overweight, video game playing, internet porn surfing, slacker, who has no real idea what he wants to do with life. Or you could be the bitter married couple with kids who fight about everything after realizing the magic is gone, and having kids eliminates a lot of your "options".

Note: This film almost received a 4 out of 5 rating due to one horribly inappropriate scene. When the young woman does finally give birth, the "birthing" is shown in graphic detail. I guess the point was to illustrate the true nature of the event as viewed through the eyes of the over-whelmed father-to-be; either way it was very unnecessary. And I don't want to hear a bunch of crap from people about how beautiful and natural this "Miracle" is. It may be beautiful to you to watch your wife's vagina split open like an over-ripe melon, but not everyone wants to see it. Also, it's not much of a miracle at this point. I think some of the mystery has been effectively solved at this point. It was a miracle when little, sweet baby Jesus was concieved and born. "Miracles" don't happen 288,000 per day. (That's a real stat...look it up.)

Movie Review/Dedication - Roller Boogie

Roller Boogie (5 of 5): This review is inspired by the lovely, ass-kicking "PrissKilla Prezleys" from the Memphis Roller Derby League. Especially, Chica Bandita, Lynda-Licious, Do-me-a-favor, and Hustlin Flow. Normally, I would have seen this on Showtime, watched 30 seconds, laughed hard, and kept moving. But since my drinking buddies and I have a newly-found appreciation for roller sports; I thought I would give it a try. Roller Boogie tells the story of a rich girl from California (Linda Blair) who is tired of her wealthy parents who don't pay any attention to her. She runs away and hooks up with the low-income, resident roller-skating hunk (did I just write that?) who aspires to win a gold medal in the Olympics for USA in roller skating. I don't know how this movie was passed up for an academy award. This movie is a cheezy as it comes. Lots of roler rink music, Cher....Abba...and other fine selections. Linda Blair actually plays a pretty sincere rich girl. Her dialogue and character are pretty strongly delivered. Also, she was, and for that matter still is, one of the most beautiful women from that generation. Don't believe me? Check here, or here and especially here. The movie gets an honorary 5 out of 5 due to all the short shorts, low-cut tops, beautiful women, and most importantly, The PrissKilla Prezleys might hunt me down and kick my ass if I give it anything else.

Movie Review - Children of Men

Children of Men (5 of 5): Children of Men is a fantastic science fiction thriller with a powerful social and political message. The setting of the film is London, in 2027. As the movie opens, we see that the world’s youngest person (an 18 year old) has died. Yup, eighteen years ago, women across the globe suddenly could not get pregnant anymore. Subsequently, the human race faces extinction. Since then, the world has slowly decayed. Violence is prevalent, wars have broke out, resources are becoming scarce and London resembles a fascist state; currently the process of deporting all of its immigrants. Society is in shambles, but things change when a single woman mysteriously becomes pregnant. This prompts a conflicted government bureaucrat (Clive Owen) and his ex-wife (Julianne Moore) to join forces to protect her.

I loved this movie – everything about it is great. The future scenario that is portrayed perfectly fits a future you could anticipate too see 20 years from now, especially given today’s political and social climates. The story is excellent and extremely gripping. It hooked me early, kept me enthralled, and never let go. All of the subtle visuals in the backgrounds and settings really add to the realism of the story too. I also thought that the characters are really well thought out, and their actions were driven by realistic motives. It is excellent story-telling all around. The film is beautifully shot too! Two scenes in particular are almost too exhausting to watch: one during a car chase early in the film, and the other towards the end during an escape from a war-torn city. These scenes are really effective at pulling you in and actually had me so tense I had to consciously remind myself to relax. Pay attention, what makes these two scenes so compelling is that they were filmed like a documentary, with ridiculously long takes on a hand held camera – no editing. It's really fantastic!

Anyway, Children of Men is an extremely effective movie that will have you thinking about its message for a few days after watching it. The film was actually nominated for cinematography, film editing, and adapted screenplay awards in the 2007 Academy Awards, but did not win in any category. It is unfortunate that the movie slipped under the radar late last year because it deserved better. One of the best films of 2006 - highly recommended.

Movie Review - A Fistful of Dollars

A Fistful of Dollars (5 of 5): A young Clint Eastwood kicks some ass in the first installment of Sergio Leone’s The Man With No Name trilogy. Folks, this is spaghetti western entertainment at its finest. As a wandering gunman, Eastwood’s character rides into a feud between two families and plays each side against the other. Great action, a tight story, funny moments, suspense, drama, cheese… This film has it all and I loved it. Special thanks to my brother-in-law for letting me borrow it.

Integrity...Service...Downtime

Over the past 6 months, I had very little opportunity to watch any real movies. I did however have plenty of time to sleep on a prison-like bunk, sharing filthy living quarters with a bunch of other guys, (one of which, only owned 2 pairs of torn T.J. Maxx underwear), and taking mildly homoerotic, steamy group showers. In addition, I learned a few things:

1. Drinking 14 shots of Tequila that is older than yourself, can take away your desire for Tequila.

2. Female arm wrestlers, although very tough looking, are in fact not stronger than me.

3. Some movies are not meant to be viewed over, and over again.

Case in point, there were occasional times when there was a "break" in training. During these times, in between insulting each others mothers and and hoarding Oreo cookies, I was able to view a small collection of movies. Some classics, others...well, see for yourself.

Full Metal Jacket (5 of 5): This one gets a good rating, not only because it is a great movie, but it was kind of the theme of the entire training. Running, getting yelled at, a fat guy in my class that looked like Pyle (you know who you are). It certainly provided some great quotes for our time spent. (Times viewed: 2)

Dumb and Dumber (5 of 5): This may seem like a gracious score, but really, it's a movie that still provides laughs each time you see it. Also, I found several new funny lines and actions in the movie that I had never noticed before. (Times viewed: 3)

Smokey and the Bandit (3 of 5): I know this movie is probably sacred to Nascar fans and white trash (is there a difference?), but to people who don't weld, or pour concrete for a living; it's not worth multiple viewings. Although, it is amazing just how "non-politically correct" Sheriff Buford T. Justice is in the film. If you still own a VCR or Beta-Max, go check it out for yourself. (Times viewed: 2)

Blackhawk Down (2 of 5): Josh Hartnett is a clown shoe. I don't buy into any movie he is involved in, and as discussed at length many times before with Movie Guy #1; If there are actors in a movie who I dislike, the movie is pretty much ruined for me. (See: Fight Club) Now, if the movie had Tom Berenger, and was all about sniping bad guys...5 stars easy. (Times viewed: 2)

Spaceballs (2 of 5): I think this movie is horribly over-rated. Maybe because every weekend, it seems to be showing on WGN or TNT, and I am totally burnt out on it, but I have never found it to be that amusing. Not even in the 6 month long mini-hell, was I able to really laugh at any "Schwartz" jokes. (Times viewed: 1)

Marked For Death (2 of 5): My favorite Steven Seagal movie of all time! The only reason this doesn't get a score of 1 of 5, is because at least the soundtrack is good. I use to have it on cassette. It's all Reggae. Also, the fight scenes and dialogue are funnier that Spaceballs. (Times viewed: 1)

Death Warrant (1 of 5): Are you kidding me? Who keeps green-lighting all these Jean-Claudde van Damme movies? It pains me to even rank this with a 1. It must have been a banner year for movies in 1990. This piece of shit, along with Marked For Death were released. I can't believe this movie made $15 million in the theatre.

Now maybe I can get back to real life, and start watching some good movies. Does anyone know when the next Look Who's Talking movie comes out?

Movie Review - MirrorMask

MirrorMask (5 of 5): This film is another hallmark of creativity from screenwriter Neil Gaiman and Jim Henson Studios. The movie follows the adventures of a girl in her dreamland as she tries to restore the balance of light and dark in a kingdom that is slowly being overtaken by dark elements. The movie is very engrossing and a visual treat - it all feels very surreal. My only small complaint is that some of the plot elements in the movie seem to be repeated over and over again just for the sake of presenting some new creature or landscape on the screen. I am overlooking this small complaint though because the story and visuals in this movie are so entertaining.

Movie Review - Pan's Labyrinth

Pan's Labyrinth (5 of 5): Pan's Labyrinth is a film about a young girl (Ofelia) who is moved out to the country with her pregnant mother to live with her new step-father, a brutal fascist officer in the pro-Franco army of 1944 Spain. When Ofelia finds a decaying labyrinth guarded by Pan, an ancient faun who claims to know her destiny, she must perform three tasks in order to take her rightful place as a princess in the labyrinth's kingdom.

The movie can best be described as a fairy-tale for adults. It can be viewed on a couple different levels, depending on the amount of complexity you want to watch the film. You can view it as strictly a fairy-tale movie and believe that everything Ofelia sees is real. Or, you can view it as a war movie and believe that Ofelia is creating this fantasy universe around her as an emotional response to being caught up in the cruelty of war and living with her sick mother. I tend to believe the later.

One thing is for sure, this is not a fairy-tale for children. This movie is brutally violent in some places and cringe worthy in others. The fantasy elements are dark and the story is generally depressing. These are not complaints, just observations. If I have to list one complaint, it is that there are not enough fantasy elements within this movie. For a movie that has been so obviously advertised as a fantasy adventure, I think the fantasy scenes are a little too few and far between. Overall though, Pan's Labyrinth is a really well told and emotional story with great acting, characters and visual effects.

I strongly encourage you to see this movie. I hope you'll get wrapped up in it as much as I did and come out of the theater feeling you experienced a really terrific story.

Movie Review - The Descent

The Descent (5 of 5): It is my great pleasure to give this movie such a high rating because it is uncommon for me to really get into the horror genre. Most horror movies just don't scare me, so when I find one that does, it is a a real treat.

The Descent is a film about six women who like to go on outdoor/extreme trips (think: Mountain Dew commercials with women) This time they are going on a caving trip. Supposedly he trip is going to be a nice easy trek at a cave for novices. However, after an accident, some startling revelations, and the discovery of a population of subterranean human-like monsters, the trip goes sour. As expected, one by one the girls get picked off, but not after a good fight. Refreshingly, these women know how to defend themselves and they aren't afraid to fight for their lives. One or two stand out and make it to the end, but I won't give away more than that.

This is a terrific movie. The suspense is allowed to build and the cave monsters never feel like the main push of the film - they aren't even introduced until well into the movie. Instead the tension is allowed to build, first with the darkness that fills the caves, then with the tight claustrophobic spaces the women crawl through, and finally with the introduction and fight for survival against the monsters. The pace works perfectly to really get the audience wrapped up. And you'll stay engaged too! Thankfully, the are few, if any, of those classic horror movie moments when the characters make stupid, irrational decisions that leave you wondering "WTF?".

Check this movie out and make sure you watch it in complete darkness with surround sound. It is a great survival horror flick that I guarantee will have you thinking twice about ever going in a cave.

Movie Review - Borat

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (5 of 5): As if the title is not evidence enough, this movie exists in a world of its own. I imagine people either really hate it or they really love it with no in between. I personally fall into the later category. and think that Borat is the funniest movie I have seen in the last five years. Actually, probably longer than that. Borat is, without a doubt, one of the top five funniest movies I have ever seen my entire life!

Know this...

• Sacha Baron Cohen is brilliant as Borat - his Da Ali G Show Season 1 & 2 as well as Ali G Indahouse have shot up to the top of my rental list.
  
• Americans can be very ugly, rude, pathetic, blabbering, prejudiced fools.
• Naked-man wrestling is both utterly repulsive and side-splittingly hilarious.

Borat is just pure laughter wrapped up in a nice little 1.5 hr movie. There, that is all you need to know. My review is over. You should go to the theater right now and pray this movie is still playing.

Television Review - The Office: Season 2

The Office: Season 2 (5 of 5): I noticed this TV show really seemed to catch on with the public towards the mid to latter half of season 2, and it has been advertised heavily during the current season 3 episodes. That's good because it is one of the funniest shows on television right now. Recently, I got a chance to make my way through season 2 and get caught up on some of the episodes I missed during the TV run. It was time well spent. The series picks up from where the first left off, but this season the writing is better and the characters are a lot funnier.

There are a lot of great episodes in this season 2 series. The Dundies, Christmas Party, The Booze Cruise, Dwight's Speech and Drug Testing are just some of the episodes that made me laugh the most. I love the characters that have been created in this show. They all have their own qualities and are distinctly different from each other, allowig them all to be funny for different reasons. Over the long-run, this really keeps the show fresh each week. The other nice thing about this comedy is that it has some poignant moments that help to ground the characters and offset all the laughs and funny, but uncomfortable, situations. The relationship between Pam and Jim is extremely well written and the characters of Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute are perfectly played by Steve Carell and Rainn Wilson, respectively.

Remember, the American version of The Office is based on Ricky Gervais's enormously successful BBC sitcom of the same name. The BBC show is excellent. So, if you are a fan of the American version, I strongly encourage you to see the BBC counterpart because it too is hilarious. Don't ask me which version is better though. Prior to season 2, I thought the BBC version was better, but now, I honestly think they are both excellent in their own right.

Television Review - Battlestar Galactica: Season 2.5

Battlestar Galactica: Season 2.5 (5 of 5): If you have not seen Battlestar Galactica yet, I urge you to go rent season 1 and get started. The show is terrific and highly entertaining. Season 2.5 continues the first and second seasons with more entertaining and thought provoking story lines, cool space ship action sequences and interesting character developments. This show ranks up there with some of the best shows on TV and it constantly re-invents itself to stay fresh and exciting. It is always engaging and definitely "smart" science-fiction.

I know, you're wondering what the heck Season 2.5 is, right? Well, the second season of the show had about a 6 month split in it so they decided to release the first half of the second season on DVD separate from the second half. This is probably my only beef with season 2. I really would have liked to watch everything together instead of having a break. By the time I got my hands on season 2.5 it was about 8 months after I saw season 2.0, and I had forgotten some of the minor story elements by that time.

Thanks to my brother-in-law for introducing me to this incredible show and letting me borrow his Season 2.5 disc. Now I am all caught up. Season 3 just started airing on the Sci-Fi channel a couple of weeks ago and I can't wait to watch it, especially after that season 2 finale, which is totally out of right-field.

Movie Review - The World's Fastest Indian

The World’s Fastest Indian (5 of 5): The World’s Fastest Indian is a rare gem of a movie that did not receive the recognition or attention it deserved when in was released in 2005. This movie is about Burt Munro (played by Anthony Hopkins), a real life New Zealander who spent around 25 years of his life customizing a 1920s Indian motorcycle. Munro’s dream is to take the bike halfway around the world to the Bonneville Salt Flats Test Track in Utah, the only place where he can find out how fast it will actually go. Munro meets a variety of interesting and supportive people in his voyage, and his personality seems to bring out the best in all of them. After watching some of the DVD extras, including a 1960s documentary on the real life Burt Munro, I can tell you that Anthony Hopkins is dead on in his portrayal of the somewhat eccentric man. I highly recommend this movie. It is an inspirational tale of overcoming adversity and highlights a decency and kindness of strangers that is rarely depicted in today’s films. Check it out – this is one of those rare movies that will actually leave you feeling “happy” at its conclusion.

Movie Review - Monster House

Monster House (5 of 5): It has been a while since I have seen a good animated movie; Previously, nothing has outdone Toy Story and Shrek. However, Monster House is the most beautifully animated movie I have ever seen. Everything about it, from the detailed facial expressions and movement of the characters, right down to the way a blade of grass moved when stepped on was amazing. In addition, the movie had what a lot of these types of movies lack; a real story and plot. As good as animated films are, they seem to rely heavily on quick pop culture one-liners for humor and entertainment. The story involves a creepy neighborhood house which seems to be haunted. People who walk on the lawn disappear, toys that wind up falling into it's yard also go missing and seem to be devoured by the house. Naturally, the only person to notice these activities is a boy living across the street. With his parents out of town, the boy and his hefty friend (think Chunk from The Goonies) decide to investigate and solve the mystery of the monster house. This may sound silly; but this movie was actually scary! Not in an Exorcist sort of way, but the music, the house, and the overall creepy environment created in the story made it seem like it would be too much for some kids. I would take my kid to see it (If I had one) , but as some of you already know; I already won't be winning any kind of father of the year awards. Monster House was easily the most fun, entertaining movie I have seen all year.

Movie Review - United 93

United 93 (5 of 5): A tale of the ill-fated Flight 93 that crashed in a PA field on 9-11. We have all heard the heroic stories regarding the flight, and it's passengers, and imagined what it must have been like, and theorized on what we might have done in the situation. This movie makes no excuses, or political statements whatsoever. Simply a picture, and story of all the events that took place on the day of Sept. 11. In fact I became very angry watching it, seeing that the whole situation could have been avoided if it had not been for some serious military, FAA, and airline executive errors. Thankfully, relatively unknown actors were used in the portrayal of the story. At times it is hard to watch, from an emotional level, and due to the fact that ocassionally, the picture shakes like "The Blair Witch Project" and can make you a little queazy. The film is incredibly powerful, and serves as a stark reminder that there are a a lot of people in this world who would like to kill us all.

Movie Review - Millions

Millions (5 of 5) : This is a film by Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, Shallow Grave, 28 Days Later). It is about two boys who find a bag of money (British Pounds) a few weeks before Europe switches over to the Euro. One wants to spend it, while the other wants to perform acts of charity. Of course, the bad guys come looking for it too. Although there is a lot of religious overtones, it never becomes preachy. The story is predictable but excellent. As you would expect from a Boyle film, great cinimatography and soundtrack.