Movie Review - Mission Impossible 3

Mission Impossible 3 (3 of 5): Mission Impossible 3 is more of the same with a slight twist in character development this time around. You still get cool action scenes, people in costume, plot twists and a bit of mystery, but this time around we also get to see Ethan Hunt's character go all gah gah for a girl. He wants to get married and stay out of the "game". Of course, that's not going to happen and he gets pulled back in to the special agent lifestyle, this time to save his fiance and track down a super secret device called the "rabbits foot".

This movie did not live up to my expectations. There were some decent action scenes, but that was about it. Everything else seemed to be hashed out and a cookie cutter of what we expect. The movie didn't really attempt to do anything different except for show us the personal side of Ethan Hunt and get all lovey-dovey with his relationship. Really, it feels like they went out and made this movie in about one week. Everything just sort of felt like it was "been there, done that" territory. Remember the suspense of breaking into Langley Headquarters from the first Mission Impossible? In #3 that suspense was never re-created. This time, they break into the Vatican. The suspense is not there and too much falls into place for the characters.

Anyway, this is just a decent movie. The love story and a lack of suspense and innovation keep this movie from being really cool. Although, it definitely beats the pants off of the slow motion crap fest that was Mission Impossible 2.

Movie Review - Land of the Dead

Land of the Dead (2 of 5): Here is another suck-ass movie that I wasted my vacation watching. Why you ask? Not sure really. I guess I thought the potential for a cool zombie movie is pretty high today given all the cool special effects available to movie makers.

Although the special effects are pretty good in this movie and I do enjoy the over the top blood and gore, the story just never reaches the height it should. It's a shame too, because Land of the Dead starts off with good potential. The world has been taken over by zombies and only small groups of humans still live in camps and other communities around the globe. This premise would have been enough to make a cool movie about survival in this harsh new reality. Too bad...

Instead, the viewer is treated to a stupid plot about a guy who just wants to get out of town. But before he can do that he has to kill an acquaintence and former work collegue for the evil reining big-wig controlling the human settlement. If this story is not dumb enough, then add the fact that the zombies are starting to learn! They are getting smarter, organizing and rebelling against the human settlements. Lemme tell you, smart zombies start to look and sound a lot like human retards, drooling and moaning everywhere. Before long, you'll think your watching the special olympics. All of this makes for one LAME movie.

Movie Review - Doom

Doom (1 of 5): Well, here is a 1.5 hour long waste of time and potential. Of course, I knew it was going to be bad before watching it, but I was saddened by just how bad it gets. The "marines" are a laughable group led by Duane "The Rock" Johnson of WWF fame. The marines in Predator or Aliens would wipe the floor clean with Doom's marines. The acting is terrible to sub-par throughout. The special effects aren't bad, but they are definitely low budget.

However, the thing that makes me the most disappointed with this movie is that it screwed up what should have been easy. All you have to do to make a good Doom movie is to copy the original Doom game! That means have a one man team go in to save the scientists who has to fight hordes and hordes of beasties. Instead, we are treated to a movie version of Doom 3 that does not acknowledge Doom or Doom 2 at all. Alternatively, it offers only three different monsters, no gore, no cool weapons being used (BFG is totally wasted in this movie) and a dysfunctional group of idiot marines who you just want to see die already.

Don't waste your time. Find Doom and Doom 2 and play through those games again. You'll get more enjoyment playing them.

Top Five Christmas Movies

Okay folks, here we go. The 2 Movie Guys Top Five Christmas Movies list. If you have not seen these movies, consider yourself a scrooge.

1. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
2. A Christmas Story
3. Scrooged
4. Elf
5. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the cartoon, not that live action pile of shit)

There ya go. Although they are all comedies, those are the best Christmas movies for your money.

Merry Christmas!

PS - Special thanks to Bob & Randy who helped out with this list.

Movie Review - The Vanishing (1988)

The Vanishing (4 of 5): This is a pretty cool foreign movie about a man who obsessively searches for his girlfriend for three years after she disappears at a rest stop while the two are on a road trip. His investigation draws the attention of her abductor who is a mild-mannered professor and family man. Using flashbacks, the movie shows how the kidnapper carefully plans the woman's abduction and contacts the boyfriend, promising to reveal to him the woman's fate.

This movie was pretty cool because it explored both the pursuits of the boyfriend trying to find his girlfriend and the sociopathic pursuits of the abductor. This approach really makes you get a better feel for the characters and understand the abductor's thoughts a little more. He becomes more human and a lot scarier as a result. Anyway, this is my kind of thriller/horror movie - completely believable, scary and sticks with your subconscious for days. Its great psychological horror.

I have not seen the Sandra Bullock/Jeff Bridges remake of this movie, buy I hear it sucks in comparison. I won't ruin the end of the movie, but I will say it is pretty cool. In the end, both the boyfriend and the abductor get what they want, and more.

Movie Review - Borat

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (5 of 5): As if the title is not evidence enough, this movie exists in a world of its own. I imagine people either really hate it or they really love it with no in between. I personally fall into the later category. and think that Borat is the funniest movie I have seen in the last five years. Actually, probably longer than that. Borat is, without a doubt, one of the top five funniest movies I have ever seen my entire life!

Know this...

• Sacha Baron Cohen is brilliant as Borat - his Da Ali G Show Season 1 & 2 as well as Ali G Indahouse have shot up to the top of my rental list.
  
• Americans can be very ugly, rude, pathetic, blabbering, prejudiced fools.
• Naked-man wrestling is both utterly repulsive and side-splittingly hilarious.

Borat is just pure laughter wrapped up in a nice little 1.5 hr movie. There, that is all you need to know. My review is over. You should go to the theater right now and pray this movie is still playing.

Television Review - The Office: Season 2

The Office: Season 2 (5 of 5): I noticed this TV show really seemed to catch on with the public towards the mid to latter half of season 2, and it has been advertised heavily during the current season 3 episodes. That's good because it is one of the funniest shows on television right now. Recently, I got a chance to make my way through season 2 and get caught up on some of the episodes I missed during the TV run. It was time well spent. The series picks up from where the first left off, but this season the writing is better and the characters are a lot funnier.

There are a lot of great episodes in this season 2 series. The Dundies, Christmas Party, The Booze Cruise, Dwight's Speech and Drug Testing are just some of the episodes that made me laugh the most. I love the characters that have been created in this show. They all have their own qualities and are distinctly different from each other, allowig them all to be funny for different reasons. Over the long-run, this really keeps the show fresh each week. The other nice thing about this comedy is that it has some poignant moments that help to ground the characters and offset all the laughs and funny, but uncomfortable, situations. The relationship between Pam and Jim is extremely well written and the characters of Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute are perfectly played by Steve Carell and Rainn Wilson, respectively.

Remember, the American version of The Office is based on Ricky Gervais's enormously successful BBC sitcom of the same name. The BBC show is excellent. So, if you are a fan of the American version, I strongly encourage you to see the BBC counterpart because it too is hilarious. Don't ask me which version is better though. Prior to season 2, I thought the BBC version was better, but now, I honestly think they are both excellent in their own right.

Big Time Updating

Well, school is done for the semester. So, that means that MovieGuy #1 is going to have a lot more free time to make posts to this incredible blog. Too bad MovieGuy#2 is still incognito with his super secret agent training (oh, what our tax dollars pay for...).

Anyway, check out the new movie reviews that are up. You can expect many more to follow within the days and weeks ahead. We have also added labels to our posts for easier site navigation. Want to see all of our 1 star reviews? Now you can!

We need to spice things up a little more here though. Too many reviews can get boring. So, more rants are planned and also some more top 5/10 lists.

Ideas are welcome! After all, this site is dedicated to its millions of fans. Remember, this is YOUR blog!

MovieGuy #1

Movie Review - Thank You For Smoking

Thank You For Smoking (3 of 5): I got a chance to check this movie out the other night and was a little disappointed. I should have listened to MovieGuy #2 who said it was just mediocre but it was already on my Netflix list and being delivered. This movie is a satirical dark comedy about the cigarette industry. It follows the exploits of a smooth talking lobbyist who is working to promote smoking in the movies while trying to remain a role model for his young son. There are some funny moments in this movie, particularly the scenes with Rob Lowe as a movie producer, but for the most part this movie is so dry and satirical that it leaves the audience without much more than a smirk.

Movie Review - X-Men: The Last Stand

X-Men: The Last Stand (2 of 5): This is the third movie of the X-Men franchise and by far the weakest of the three, putting an end to the momentum and coolness that the first two movies were building up. This is primarily due to the fact that this movie tries to cover too much and ended up without a very cohesive (or interesting) store line. Not only are we introduced to a slew of new mutants including: The Beast, Juggernaught, Angel, and a bunch of no-name Brotherhood of Evil Mutant enlistees, but we also have the loss of some very significant characters and the return of Jean Gray as The Dark Phoenix. Unfortunately, all these elements are too much and the movie collapses under its own weight. All of these elements, especially the Dark Phoenix story, should have had their own movies. Instead, we get a mish mash of cool concepts and moments filled in with some rather lame dialogue and crappy character development. The most irritating thing of it all is that I can think of a multitude of ways in which everything that happened in this movie can be completely blown off and "written-out" of the franchise as a whole if a fourth movie is ever made. Since I know fan reaction has been harsh, this will probably happen, making the film a complete waste of time. Skip this suck-fest and hope Bryan Singer comes back to helm the inevitable fourth film.

Movie Review - Casino Royale

Casino Royale (4 of 5): Well, I am impressed. I didn't think it could be done, but the James Bond franchise has been rebooted and resurrected from the depths of mundanity. Bond is cool again, but he aint your mamma's 007. This Bond is brutal in his fighting technique, unafraid to kick some serious ass and possibly tear his tuxedo in the process! This movie effectively reintroduces us to James Bond as it presents a story from his early years in the British Secret Service. There are some great moments and many of the Bond cliches are defined for the very first time. You'll see how Bond gets his first Astin Martin; how he develops a taste for martinis; his first tuxedo fitting; and why he never gets too involved with the ladies. Its a basic story involving a bad guy who is just out to get rich, not take over the world; and there are no gadgets in this film either! Blasphemous, I know. But it all really works to re-write the franchise and take it in a new and fresh direction. My only two quibbles with the movie is that it is too long and that it suffers from some pacing issues in the middle. Other than that, I can't wait for the next Bond film with Daniel Craig as the new 007. Check it out!

Movie Review - High Tension

High Tension (2 of 5): Now, here is a movie that I was really getting into and quite enjoying, right up until the last 20 minutes or so which totally ruined, and I mean ruined, the entire film. We follow two girls who are going home to one of their parents' house to do some school studying before exams. The night they arrive all hell breaks loose when a psycho killer arrives at the house. The remainder of the movie follows the two girls as they try to escape the grasp of the murderer. This movie is very graphic and bloody! Honestly, there were some scenes that were just so gratuitous that I had to just squeal in glee. Although some scenes are hard to stomach, it was all in good fun. Then, the end... Poof, there goes a pretty great movie given today's low standards in horror films (I am looking at you SAW). Anyway, if you totally have to see this movie, I suggest stopping it before the climax/twist ending, otherwise you'll be as pissed as I am. The ending makes absolutely no sense, no matter how you look at it. As a matter of fact, I challenge somebody to defend the the end and explain it to me so that it makes sense.

Movie Review - Dawn of the Dead (1978)

Dawn of the Dead (2 of 5): Sorry, I can't get behind this movie. Way too long and way too hokey. Maybe if I had not seen the recent (and superior) remake I would have liked this old one better. Although I can appreciate some of the social and cultural commentary present in this film, it wasn't enough to save it from being a horribly bad and often laughable movie - I know, its not supposed to be an Oscar contender. All I wanted was a scary movie, but instead I got a pretty cheesy B Movie that was not scary at all. I'll give George Romero one more chance to impress me with his zombie movies when I watch Land of the Dead later this year. Hopefully, it will be better than Dawn.

Movie Review - Shaun of the Dead

Shaun of the Dead (3 of 5): I was somewhat disappointed with this movie. It came out a couple years back to what I remember was a fairly warm reception. So, maybe my expectations were set too high, but I just did not see the point. I have seen a lot better zombie movies. This one was more of a comedy, but there were actually some fairly dramatic scenes in it that were, for the most part poorly acted. Although there are some funny moments, I just felt like most of the movie was kind of boring. It was cool to see some of the actors from the BBC version of The Office in the movie though. Glad to see they are involved in other projects.

Television Review - Rome: Season 1

Rome: Season 1 (4 of 5): Rome is an HBO produced television series that is set during the last years of Julius Caesar's reign. The show does focus on Ceasar, but mostly centers on two Roman soldiers, Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo, and their families. Of course, being an HBO series, the production values are top notch. The acting is good and the story is great, though it can be hard to follow at times with all the characters to keep track of. This show isn't for the prudish though. There are heaping helpings of violence throughout the series and lot of explicit sexual content, especially in the first few episodes. Violence and sex... awesome! Except for just a couple episodes that did not hold my full attention, the story lines were great with plenty of politicking and back-stabbing to make things interesting. This show definitely paints a more personalized and gritty picture of Rome that you just don't get in movies like Gladiator or Alexander.

Halloween Movie Kick

Halloween is one of my favorite times of the year. In order to celebrate the season this year, I have been really wanting to watch some scary movies. So, I have recently filled my Netflix list up with scary movies I have never seen before in an effort to enjoy Halloween for all its worth this year. Here are some mini-reviews of movies I have recently watched:

Slither (4 of 5): This movie is the perfect mix of horror and fun, never taking itself too seriously, but also not diving too deep into B-movie territory either. Slither is a total throw-back to the horror films of the 1980s. It has a lot of good gross outs and some good scares too. Best scene: birth of the slugs.

Night of the Living Dead - 1968 (3 of 5): This is a horror classic. Black and white and very creepy at some points, especially the music. I liked this movie, but it couldn't quite eclipse the impression that the 80s remake left on me. This is the way horror movies should be - the characters should convey a total loss of all hope and forget about happy endings! Best scene: when the zombies are munching on char-broiled human.

Saw II (2 of 5): If you liked the first, the second is pretty much the same, except less personal with more of a funhouse atmosphere. If not for being in the mood to watch this type of movie during Halloween, I probably would give this movie 2 stars instead of 3. The minimal amount of psychological horror present in the first movie is largely gone in the sequel, replaced with more visual horror and gross-outs. I think it was a mistake to delve into the roots of the Jigsaw killer - why do horror movie franchises always do this? It ruins the mystery! Best scene: combing through a pile of used hypodermic needles to find a hidden key.

Well, that is all the scary movies I have gotten a chance to see recently. However, I will have three more to watch very soon. Next up: Dawn of the Dead (1978), High Tension and The Vanishing.

Movie Review: Everything Is Illuminated

Everything Is Illuminated (4 of 5): This is a nice movie about a young Jewish man, played by Elijah Wood, who goes to the Ukraine to uncover the secrets of his grandfather's past and how he escaped the country and fled to American in World War II. In order to figure things out he enlists the help of a Ukrainian escort business that specializes in helping Jewish families trace their roots throughout the region. What he doesn't know though is that his grandfather's past has crossed paths with the Ukrainian family in ways that they will soon both understand.

Like I said, this is a nice movie. It is entertaining and I was happily surprised to find myself laughing quite frequently throughout. I thought this would be a difficult move to get through because of its anti-semitic/holocaust subject matter, however the film is hardly weighed down by these issues. Instead, it is frequently light-hearted, especially the scenes involving the Ukrainian grandson who loves American pop-culture. This is a poignant, funny and sad movie that provides a very good entertainment experience.

Movie Review - Running Scared

Running Scared (3 of 5): You may remember the TV preview for this film always ending with a blacklit glowing hockey puck being slapped right towards a guy whose face is being held against the ice. No? Well, it may not say much for my character, but I thought that looked pretty cool and made a mental note to check this movie out when I could.

Running Scared is a film is about a young boy who gets fed up with his abusive step-father and decides to shoot him with a gun he steals from his friend's dad. The only problem is that the gun was used in a crime conducted by the father and his gang. When the young boy runs away after failing to kill his step-father, and his friend's dad figures out his gun was stolen, the story then follows the boy and his misadventures while running away and the dad in his effort to find the boy and get the gun back.

Yeah, it's not a particularly challenging movie, but there is more than enough action and plot twists to keep you entertained. This is a violent and bloody movie though, so I wouldn't watch it with your mother. Except for a twist ending and a very strange out-of-place sequence in the middle of the movie, you are going to get a good helping of drugs, guns, violence, gangsters, crooked cops, pimps, and double-crosses in this movie. Enjoy.

PS- Make sure you watch the closing credits. The animation is very entertaining.

Television Review - Battlestar Galactica: Season 2.5

Battlestar Galactica: Season 2.5 (5 of 5): If you have not seen Battlestar Galactica yet, I urge you to go rent season 1 and get started. The show is terrific and highly entertaining. Season 2.5 continues the first and second seasons with more entertaining and thought provoking story lines, cool space ship action sequences and interesting character developments. This show ranks up there with some of the best shows on TV and it constantly re-invents itself to stay fresh and exciting. It is always engaging and definitely "smart" science-fiction.

I know, you're wondering what the heck Season 2.5 is, right? Well, the second season of the show had about a 6 month split in it so they decided to release the first half of the second season on DVD separate from the second half. This is probably my only beef with season 2. I really would have liked to watch everything together instead of having a break. By the time I got my hands on season 2.5 it was about 8 months after I saw season 2.0, and I had forgotten some of the minor story elements by that time.

Thanks to my brother-in-law for introducing me to this incredible show and letting me borrow his Season 2.5 disc. Now I am all caught up. Season 3 just started airing on the Sci-Fi channel a couple of weeks ago and I can't wait to watch it, especially after that season 2 finale, which is totally out of right-field.

Where are the MovieGuys?

We have gotten a flood of mail from our millions of fans the world who wondering where the MovieGuys have gone. No updates for weeks! Why?! Well, of course, there is a reason, two actually. The first is that MovieGuy #2 is off playing cops and robbers for six months in training for his new job. The second is that MovieGuy #1 is back in night-school for another semester of self-abuse.

Of course these reasons mean that we hardly have enough time to watch movies these days, let alone write up reviews of them. Sorry, our world famous rants will have to wait too. Don't worry though, we are already forming ideas and making plans to come back stronger than ever. Until the official re-release of 2 MovieGuys, check in periodically for the occasional update.

Thanks,
2 MovieGuys