2 Movie Guys

Movie Review - Observe and Report

2009-04-29T21:52:00.003-06:00

Observe and Report (2 of 5): That's it; I have had enough. Knocked up was great. Superbad was good. Pineapple Express was the worst piece of shit ever produced; this one was not much better. Seth Rogan, it's time to expand your horizons or fade into obscurity.

Rogan plays Ronnie Barnhardt, head security guard at the local mall. Ronnie takes his job incredibly seriously, comes from a broken home, has an alcoholic mother who passes out mid-sentence, and a long history of anti-depessant medication because he is "a little bi-polar". When a flasher strikes the mall parking lot, "violating" numerous women employees and mall patrons, Ronnie and crew are on the case. Things get personal when the pervert exposes himself to Ronnie's love interest, a trashy, drunken, make-up counter hottie who is way out of his league. However, Ronnie's efforts are impeded by a real police detective played by Ray Liotta; Hillarity does not really ensue.

There are a handfull of really funny moments, like watching his mom drunken face plant on the carpet, and Ronnie's psychological evaluation while applying for the police department. Rogan does a decent job of making Ronnie a likable character; but most of the time, Ronnie seems like he is about to become the next gunman in the latest headlines. Rock music blares at seemingly random times, and the violence escalates shockingly fast at times. In one scene, Ronnie and his right hand man begin a rampage that begins funny, beating up skateboarders and ends with them both doing lines of coke and robbing stores in the mall. But hey, who hasn't been there?

It feels like Rogan is trying to branch out and show a darker side, as opposed to an overweight, lovable stoner. However, from what I can see, he is not ready to take on a different role, as he appears unable to make more than two facial expressions on camera and exude the same self-deprecating humor.

Movie Review - Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

2009-04-20T12:29:00.015-06:00

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist (2 of 5): Damn, this movie was a huge disappointment. That is really all I need to write for a review, but I guess I should explain. I went into this movie expecting three things: 1) a good performance from Michael Cera, who I think has awesome comedic timing and potential (just watch Arrested Development); 2) a great soundtrack; and 3) a nice coming of age story. Unfortunately, Nick & Norah satisfied none of these expectations.

This is a film about Nick, an emotional pussy who just can't get over being dumped by his hottie - way over his head - girlfriend. How they ever got together in the first place is never explained. He is in a band with two gay guys that are annoyingly self-aware and comfortable with their status as homosexuals, despite the fact that they are teenagers in high school. Nick gets out one night in his beat up Yugo and meets Norah, who is coming off an on-again/off-again relationship with her rocker boyfriend. Nick and Norah then proceed to have quirky conversations while getting to know each other in a series of ridiculous circumstances.

My grievances with this movie are many. First, everybody in this film is so self-aware and confident in their personality that it makes you want to puke. Really, is any teenager actually this comfortable with their identity? This is not a realistic coming of age story in the vein of Breakfast Club or American Graffiti. No, the characters in this story already act and converse as adults, even though their circumstances and actions would dictate otherwise. Second, Nick & Norah's night is never ending. They do and see so much in one night it becomes completely unbelievable and all of this is topped off with forced relationships an unrealistic dialogue. Finally, for a movie with "infinite playlist" in the title one would expect some good music, right? Wrong. I can't name a single memorable song in this movie - the soundtrack was crap.

I can't recommend Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. It's a completely forgettable film and the people who wrote it need a reality check. Also, after this movie, Juno and Paper Heart, Michael Cera really needs to get some new material to work on before he is perpetually typecast as the "loveable dweeb".

Gamer Goofiness

2009-04-20T08:15:00.006-06:00

Here is some gamer inspired hilarity for your Monday morning:

Movie Review - Adventureland

2009-04-19T22:32:00.007-06:00

Adventureland (5 of 5): Trailer I think that one of the laziest things to do when reviewing a movie is to note the similarities it shares with others. Thankfully, Adventureland is not like many other movies that have been released as of late; and the poor marketing it received, billed it as "Superbad at the amusement park". This comparison, although not necessarily a bad thing, is not really warranted, Adventureland stands alone and is far superior in wit and feeling.

Adventureland tells the story of James, the recent college graduate who, due to a family financial crisis is forced to postpone his summer of traveling Europe before embarking onto graduate school in New York. After discovering that his minimal employment history, combined with a degree in comparative English literatue, makes him rather "un-hireable"; James takes a job at the local amusement park as a game vendor...not rides, big difference.

It is easy to empathize with the nightmare it must be to work at an amusement park. Dead of summer heat, minimum wage, rude, inconsiderate douchebag members of the public, and the most overlooked aggravation of all; being present in that environment while the same obnoxious over-played song repeats itself all day long. (In the movie it is "Rock Me Amadeus over and over. After working two state fairs I have hateful feelings towards Justin Timberlake songs)

The cast of characters working at the park are truly hillarious. The main plotline consists of James falling in love with an emotionally unavailable Emily; perhaps the most wonderful female lead I have seen in years. The inevitable love triangle insues; actually more of a square, both main charcters have other intimacy choices. The beautiful thing about Adventureland is that the cast of characters, although probably generically defined as "geeks' or "nerds" and are as socially awkward as it gets; are lovable and easy to connect with. It seems like so many movies utilizing these types of characters only develop them just enough for a laugh, when the laugh is over, they just seem pathetic. Adventureland shows that despite being a geek (speaking as one) you aren't necessarily crippled by your awkwardness and are unable to win a kiss from the girl.

Maybe because I identified with the main character so well, or that the movie was set in the mid 80's, the setting of my childhood, or perhaps the fact that the soundtrack contains a Whitesnake song; Adventureland gets my vote for the best movie that I have personally seen this year. If you were a teen in the 80's, or ever had a dead-end job that you were too smart to be in, you will really appreciate this movie.

Dedication: This review is dedicated to a girl I once knew...she was the most confusing, enigmatic girl I have ever known, but provided for a unique summer of my own.

Movie Review - Tropic Thunder

2009-04-13T08:13:00.007-06:00

Tropic Thunder (4 of 5): I checked out Tropic Thunder over the weekend. It was a very funny movie. As a matter of fact, I enjoyed it quite a bit more than I was anticipating. With the exception of Zoolander, I don't usually find Ben Stiller movies that great. After seeing Tropic of Thunder though, I think it goes head to head with Zoolander as my favorite Ben Stiller flick.

This movie offers more than just Ben Stiller though. There is a great cast, including Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr., Nick Nolte (looking seriously alcoholic) and Tom Cruise. They all play really messed up characters and everybody is unique. Tom Cruise is especially icky and disturbing - and trust me, I would't use the word "icky" unless it was warranted.

Although I had a lot of fun with this film, I can see how some people may not like it. There is a decent amount of poking fun at retarded people, which I found hilarious, but many may not. Also, a lot of the humor has an inside joke appeal, either referencing other war movies or making fun of the Hollywood system. These jokes may go over the heads of some.

Overall though, this is a really fun film with lots of laughs. I would definitely watch it again and that is something to say since so few comedies these days are worth second viewings, in my opinion. Even the movie trailers at the beginning are worth the price of a rental. Check it out.

Movie Review - The Haunting In Conneticut

2009-04-10T23:31:00.008-06:00

The Haunting In Conneticut (4 of 5): Any fan of this genre knows that the state of horror movies has been reduced to cheap gorefests, perpetuated by movies like Hostel, Saw, and endless gory remakes of classic 70's and 80's horror. However, Connecticut does not bombard you with excessive violence and blood.

Instead, it tells the story of a teenage boy suffering from cancer who agrees to undergo some experimental treatment. In an effort to ease the burden, his family abruptly and hastily moves the entire family to a rental home in Connecticut. The home seems to provide the ideal setting for the grief-stricken family, however, from the onset, most of the family is unaware of the home's disturbing past. The movie explains itself thoroughly, so there is no point in re-capping it here. Suffice to say that the house has a chilling and haunted past "filled" with death, self-mutilation, spirits and lost souls.

Where this movie succeeds is in it's ability to scare with imagery. There are a handful of scenes that really made me jump, simply due to a look from an on-screen character, or some environmental effect. The make-up and CGI in some areas were very effective in presenting a truly frightening scene.

That being said, the movie is not without it's generic horror pitfalls. My biggest pet-peeve in horror is the cheap scare that is delivered as the music builds up, and something pops out of nowhere and makes the character and viewer literally jump. Connecticut certainly has it's share of these cheap scares. Additionally there are a lot of borrowed concepts from other successful horror successes such as Poltergeist, The Ring, and The Others.

It's important to remember that in horror, more than in any other genres, there are so few universal truths as to what is scary. It is a very personal and wide ranging emotion. This one did it for me and I was very pleased to leave the theater pretty freaked out at the film I had just seen.

*Note* If you do see it at the theatre, be sure to stay well into the credits. There is a very spooky, albeit contrived surprise at the end.

Bioshock 2 Game Play

2009-04-10T07:20:00.004-06:00

Arguably one of the best games to have come out on the XBox 360 was Bioshock. The sequel has big shoes to fill and high expectations. Here is the first released gameplay footage of the new game, Bioshock 2.

Looks pretty good if you ask me!

You're Terminated

2009-04-09T09:43:00.006-06:00

In anticipation of the release of Terminator Salvation later this spring, Warner Bros. has released a nice little web app that allows you to turn yourself into a Terminator. I don't know about you, but the first thing I thought of trying was to turn a unicorn and a baby into Terminators and then imagine them fighting each other for world domination. Anybody else with me on this!?

Who would win? I have my money on the Unicorn - that horn and the rainbows it produces can do some damage. However, the baby is cute and disarming, which allows him to break down your defenses and get in for the quick kill. Tough call...

Please vote for your pick in the comments section!

Terminate Yourself here

Science!

2009-04-08T14:46:00.005-06:00

This movie about magnetic fields is eerie, but it is also fascinating and educational! The short film has been around for awhile and won some awards. I saw it again today and thought it was worth sharing. Check it out:

Magnetic Movie from Semiconductor on Vimeo.
by Ruth Jarman and Joe Gerhardt

Legos, Ghostbusters and Monoliths

2009-04-08T07:35:00.010-06:00

Recently, I got out all my old childhood Lego sets. I only had vague memories of the sets, so it has been fun to rebuild them. It's also been fun (yet challenging) to build them with my three year old daughter who is always eager to help.

Anyway, you are probably wondering what this has to do with movies so here comes the tie-in. I just came across this picture of a cool Lego creation from a fan of the movie Ghostbusters, one of my all-time favorite comedies. I think you will agree with me that this is pretty well done!

Speaking of Ghostbusters, did you hear that a Ghostbusters 3 is in the works? I'll be happy to see those guys working together again, but unhappy with the "reboot for a younger generation" angle I'm sure the film will follow. Right now, somebody in Hollywood is thinking they gotta have Zac Efron as the new Peter Venkmen.

I am always impressed by the skill and creativity shown by Lego artists. One day, with practice, I hope to have similar skill to create my own Ecto 1. But, for now, I'll just stick to making Monoliths from 2001.

Thanks Brothers Brick

Movie Review - Let the Right One In

2009-04-07T14:32:00.008-06:00

Let the Right One In (4 of 5): This independent Swedish film quietly snuck in and made many Best of 2008 lists last year. It is the story of Oskar, a bullied 12-year old boy who dreams of revenge. He befriends his new neighbor, Eli, a 12 year old girl who has some very strange qualities: she can’t stand the sun, can’t eat food, and needs to be invited into rooms. Yes, Eli is a vampire.

Let The Right One In is a coming of age story that is both romantic and violent. Although the story may seem preposterous, you never find yourself thinking it is unbelievable. This is largely because the vampire elements are presented realistically and not allowed to become campy. Eli looks and interacts like a mostly normal girl – although with years of experience behind her eyes. It is this subtle presentation that makes the violent/horror elements of the movie all the more terrifying, since we perceive them being perpetuated by what appears to be a normal pre-teen girl.

The movie is close to two hours long but it never seems dull. It is a visually beautiful film and offers exceptional writing and performances by its young cast. A multi-layered story is presented for the characters and the vampire mythology. In particular, I liked Eli’s interaction with her “caretaker”, and the obvious parallels it presents to her current and future relationship with Oskar. Blinded by love, Oskar does not see the tragedy inherent in what his life will become, but we do.

Overall, I found this film to be very enjoyable. It provides romantic, horror and tragic elements all wrapped up into one nice package. If you don’t shy away from independent or foreign films, I highly recommend Let the Right One In. Or, you can wait until 2010 and see the planned (and very likely terrible) American remake. At which point I would be happy to come to your home, tell you “I told you so”, and punch you in the face for being an idiot.

Movie Review - I Love You Man

2009-04-07T09:32:00.007-06:00

I Love You Man (3 of 5): I'm almost ready to say "enough already". These movies are coming a little to quickly ( I know what that's like) one after another. I Love You tells the story of a sensitive guy who is recently engaged to a beautiful woman. Through the planning of the wedding, it becomes painfully obvious that the male lead (Rudd) lacks a network of social male friends. In an attempt to gain some independence and not be so smothering, as well as to find a best man for the wedding, Rudd engages in a series of "man-dates". These dates culminate with Rudd discovering Segal the quint-essential "man" who slowly weens Rudd away from a lifestyle of Appletinis and musicals to a life of beer drinking and playing in a Rush cover band.

The movie flows well, but I really didn't find myself laughing. The one strength of the movie; which is a common thread to the success of this brand of movie, is the ability to connect and identify with the characters. Anyone who has been in a serious relationship or marriage knows how incredibly difficult it is to maintain your identity with respect to your existing friends. You understand the constant balancing act between hanging out with friends and your relationship responsibilities; especially when either of those two dynamics are new to you. Rudd's character is the most socially awkward on screen personality since George Costanza or Larry David from Curb your Enthusiasm. Coincidentally the same person essentially.

The man dates are comical, and the constant awkwardness of Rudd trying to fit in and connect using "guy-slang" are painfully familiar and funny. However, overall, I really found very few laugh out loud moments. But maybe that's the point; life really isn't always that funny; rather a series of socially awkward moments punctuated by a few amusing comments. Very few of which were found in this review...

The Wait Is Over

2009-04-07T08:15:00.006-06:00

The wait is over...Although it has been nearly two years since there has been any activity, or new material on our beloved site, we have deemed ourselves ready to get the creative juices flowing. That sounded grosser than it meant to be.

That being said, in addition to movie reviews and postings about things that piss us off about the overall theater-going experience; we are branching out. In the future, we plan on introducing video game reviews, general observations about society, music debates (not necessarily confined to "Why Kanye West needs to shut the fuck-up) and a few other surprises.

So, hopefully, this time it sticks. Bookmark the site, tell your friends, myspace and facebook the hell out of it so that we can get some entertaining conversation going. Please feel free to add any suggestions or comments about the sites direction, and what you would like to see. Or, if you would like be a guest writer from time to time, let us know. We will say no, but seriously, let us know.

-Movie Guys

Movie Review - Sunshine

2007-07-18T17:49:00.000-06:00

Sunshine (3 of 5): Last Monday night, I had the opportunity to go to Chicago to check out an advanced screening of Sunshine before its wide release on July 20th. Sunshine is set 50 years into the future and follows a group of scientists and astronauts in their voyage to re-start our solar system’s dying sun. Along the way, the crew encounters the original ship that was sent to perform their task seven years prior and a horror that lies in wait.

Sunshine is a science fiction movie with horror elements introduced into the third act. I liked the science fiction, but I didn’t like the horror. It’s obvious that a lot of thought, consultation and time was spent to create a world that feels as though it could exist 50 years from now. There are some very interesting and cool scenes that the science fiction elements of the movie make possible. Unfortunately, in the end, the horror elements of the third act ruined my full enjoyment of this film. Its not that I dislike horror, but I think that Sunshine would have been better as just a pure science fiction film without the horror elements that seemed out of place and almost silly.

Performances are pretty good all around. The actors and actresses succeed in drawing moviegoers into the film to make them feel like they are a part of the crew on the ship. If you pay close attention you’ll notice that even the sun is presented as an actor in this movie, which is cool. Of course, this being a Danny Boyle film, the score and sound effects are terrific, although not as good as in some of his previous movies, i.e. Millions, 28 Days Later and Trainspotting. The special effects are also very good for a lower budget film, fully convincing me of their reality.

Overall, Sunshine is worth a viewing if you are a fan of space/science fiction movies - there just aren’t a lot of them out there these days, so we have to take what we can get. The story is unique, there are many exciting scenes, and the “science” of the film seems legitimate and interesting. Unfortunately, the third act of this movie is quite a departure from the rest of the film and I have a feeling will distract many people from a complete enjoyment of the movie.

PS - After the movie was over, the audience was treated to a Q & A session with the director, Danny Boyle. I expect to write up my thoughts on that portion of the evening within the next week, so stay tuned!

Advance Screening of Sunshine

2007-07-15T19:42:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow night I will be going to Chicago to catch an advance screening of Danny Boyle's new movie Sunshine. After the screening, there is a Q & A session with Danny Boyle.

Of course, I will have a preview up on 2MovieGuys before the film hits wide release on Friday. Also, I hope to share some insights from the director.

Stay Tuned!

I Hate Fruit of the Loom

2007-07-14T10:28:00.000-06:00

From this day forward, I will never EVER buy Fruit of the Loom underwear; not even undershirts.

During the 25 minutes (I shit you not) of commercials and previews I was treated to before Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix last night, a Fruit of the Loom commercial came on that almost sent me over the edge of sanity. It was one of the company's "music video" commercials that I have seen on TV. However, instead of being an easily tuned out 30 seconds long, this one was a whopping five times that at almost 2.5 minutes long! It is probably the worst example I have seen of a commercial playing in front of a movie, and is a perfect representation of my utter hatred and anger of having to sit through this crap before a film starts.

Unfortunately, since I couldn't find it on either YouTube or Google Video, I can't post the utter disgrace of an ad for your viewing pleasure. However, if you are interested in getting a taste of the pain and misery you'll soon be treated to in your local multiplex, check out the Fruit of the Loom website. The music video in question is called "Apple of My Eye".

Ten commercials and five previews added 25 minutes to the run time of Harry Potter Last night. This madness must end!

Happy Friday the 13th

2007-07-13T00:28:00.000-06:00

Outside of Halloween and Flag Day, this is my favorite holiday. Wait, I'm being told it's not in fact a holiday. Regardless, this date always begs the never ending question: Who would win in a real battle for supremacy? Jason certainly has the longevity, but he has never had a DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince sing a song about him. My vote is for Jason. Freddy can't really hurt you until you sleep, and I am guessing that since Jason Vorhees is technically dead, and resides mostly at the bottom of Crystal Lake, that he doesn't actually sleep. I swear to god, if some creepy, virgin fanboy emails me on a technicality regarding when Freddy Krueger can kill during waking hours....

So go forth and celebrate. I like to lurk around in the woods waiting for horny teenagers to wander too far from camp. When I do it on Friday the 13th, it seems more natural.

Rant - The Summer of Threequels

2007-07-12T12:33:00.000-06:00

For anybody paying attention, I think you’ll agree that there has been an obnoxious amount of sequels hitting theatres this spring and summer – mostly part 3s, or as I like to call them: Threequels (no, I did not coin the term).

We have already seen releases of threequels to Ocean’s 11, Spider-Man, Shrek, and Pirates of the Caribbean. Rest assured there is still more on the way. What’s the deal with all these threequels you ask? Well, most studios consider them a guaranteed payday since these films continue established franchises that have already performed very well at the box-office. Beyond that, I have to speculate. One thing I do know for sure though is that threequels have a remarkable history of sucking ass and de-railing their previously successful movie franchises. Take a look at some examples:

Jaws 3…SUCKED! Shrek 3…BLEW! X-Men 3…AWFUL! Spider-Man 3…LAME! Terminator 3…LICKED IT! Batman 3…CRAP! Beverly Hills Cop 3…TERRIBLE! Rambo 3…DEAR GOD! Godfather 3…SPARE US! Superman 3…FUGLY! Matrix 2 & 3 (written and filmed at same time)…HORRIBLE! Alien 3… DISASTER!

All of these movie franchises, and so many more, have had undeniably good first and second movies, followed by a shitty threequel. I am sure you can come up with your own examples as well. Go ahead… So, are we seeing a pattern here? I sure am. But why must the threequel so often be doomed to failure?

I think a lot of these movie franchises suffered because, as their popularity grew, too many people within the industry (writers, producers, studio execs, etc.) began to try to affiliate themselves with these money making movies. As a result, too many people try to have a say in the movie and end up watering down what made the first and second movies great. Just look at Spider-Man 3. Director Sam Raimi has been quoted as saying he hates Venom and did not want to use him in the movie. However, studio executives forced him to cater to fanboy demands and we were treated to a bloated film with too many story lines and characters.

Additionally, expanding budgets of each consecutive movie makes wasting time and money a lot easier and encourages crap writing, performances, etc. just so a quick paycheck can be collected. The Matrix sequels are a great example. Part 2 and 3 (filmed together) had one of the largest budgets of their time – they built a two mile strip of fake interstate at a cost of $2.5 million for god’s sake! What did all that money and concrete produce? Two crappy movies that feel like a rushed departure from the perfection created in the first.

Finally, I think that these threequel franchises have a tendency to suck the life out of the creative talent behind them. Writers, directors and even actors can spend up to a year or more working on each film. Picture doing that for three movies in a row and that can easily be five years of your life, depending on the production pace. Think about it: writer/producer/director George Lucas spent around 10 years producing the three Star Wars prequels! Who wants to spend five years or more of their life directing the same movie over and over again, only this time making it bigger, louder and faster? Usually what happens is that creative talent that made the first two movies great bails out on the third, handing the reins over to a people who have no clue and no love for the original material. This is precisely the path to suckville that X-Men, Terminator and Batman took.

We are even starting to see more planned threequels now. I think Back to the Future may have started this trend, and it has gained momentum with sequels to The Matrix, Pirates of the Caribbean and Lord of the Rings all filming their second and third movies at the same time. This saves the studios money through economies of scale, increases turn-around time and reduces burn-out of the creative talent. I imagine with the success of The Transformers that a similar approach will be taken with its sequels in hopes of releases in 2009 and 2010; and remember, we already know that Shrek 4 & 5 are currently in pre-production.

As we can see, just depending on sequels as a sure bet does not have a good performance track record. Its time for Hollywood to come to the realization that fresh talent and creative writing and ideas need to be injected into the studio system more often. Otherwise, each year we are going to be treated to more and more sequels of consistently degrading quality - like the planned sure fire hits of The Mummy 3 and Fantastic Four 3.

Anyway, I need to go mark my calendar for the threequel releases of Rush Hour, The Bourne Identity and Resident Evil; all coming out later this year!!

What other crappy threequels can you think of? Go ahead, share them in our comments section.

UPDATE!! (7/16/07) - Speaking of sequels, Variety has a nice article that talks about a variety (heh heh) of films coming out through 2010. Some sequels, but not tons of them! There is hope! Check out the article HERE

DOH! - We Lost

2007-07-11T07:30:00.000-06:00

Well, it sounds like Springfield, IL put up the good fight, but to no avail. Our capitol city was entered into the running for hosting The Simpsons Movie premiere. It was one of 14 Springfield cities across the United States that participated in the contest by submitting a 3-5 minute video demonstrating their Simpsons spirit. The videos were then voted upon.

This from IMDB:

The world premiere of The Simpsons Movie will be held in Springfield, Vermont, after the town beat out 14 other Springfields to land the honor...

...The Vermont town, which has a population of 9,300, won an online vote and will become Simpsons central on July 21.

...Springfield, Vermont received 15,367 votes, beating Springfield, Illinois, which received 14,634 votes.

Movie Review - Smokin' Aces

2007-07-10T17:42:00.000-06:00

Smokin’ Aces (3 of 5): In an effort to feed my recent craving for high-octane action movies, I checked out Smokin’ Aces. Basically, this movie is about two FBI agents trying to protect a mob snitch from various hitmen who are all trying to collect the contract on his head before he testifies against the mob.

Thankfully, I wasn’t totally let down by this film. Actually, this movie was better than I was expecting. Smokin’ Aces is one of those ultra-stylistic, large cast, action shoot ‘em ups that directors like Quentin Tarantino and Guy Ritchie have made popular. However, it really only feels like what would be left on the cutting room floor of a Quentin Tarantino or Guy Ritchie film. Sure, you can make a movie out of it, and it’ll be entertaining, but it’s not great because all the really great scenes have already been used.

After a questionable first few minutes of actors seeming to act WAAY to cool and many character introductions complete with super-cool “stop the movie and splash the name of the character on the screen” effects, Smokin’ Aces settles down into a watchable groove. Characters do their thing, come and go, and present the story with a fluidness that can only be offered by the excellent editing this film provides to such a long character list. Unexpectedly, you get to know each character a little and even start to sympathize some with some. Don’t get too attached though because bullets start flyin’ and people start dyin’. Just what you expect!

The performances are certainly competent in this film. Alicia Keys shows some talent and Andy Garcia plays the same stoned face character he did in Ocean’s 11 (only this time with a crappy accent). Jeremy Pivens produces some surprisingly emotional scenes and Ben Affleck simply succeeds in not annoying the crap out of me. The two actors that get the most screen time seem to be Ray Liota and Ryan Reynolds. Ray Liota does a fine job and gives a realistic performance. Ryan Reynolds actually has to hold up a lot of this movie and in that regard he succeeds. His tough guy “I have facial hair now which means I am older and not a funny actor anymore” image works much more in this movie than it did in the abortion of a film that was Blade Trinity.

All in all, this is a fun movie. It is a little overly long, kind of busy, and I don’t particularly like the melodramatic and fairly predictable ending, but if you overlook those aspects I think there is some fun and entertainment to be had watching this flick. Bullets definitely fly, chaos ensues and there are some surprises along the way, so make sure you are in the mood for action when you rent Smokin’ Aces.

Eli Roth - Haunted By His Closet

2007-07-09T20:32:00.000-06:00

The 2 MovieGuys' Eli Roth expose continues...

In case you thought we were lying when we tried to expose the talentless Eli Roth last week, rest assured that others out there in the realm of the Internet agree. During my research on Eli, I found an article at HorrorYearBook.com that exposes his gayness through an intriguing review of his three films (Cabin Fever, Hostel & Hostel II) and his Grindhouse (Thanksgiving) trailer. Using examples pulled from his films, the author perfectly illustrates how Eli is in fact living in the closet. It is quite an interesting, humorous and eye opening read. From the article:

...There is a HUGE streak of misogyny and homophobia present in all of his films. Women are demeaned at every turn and there are instances-o-plenty of the pejorative use of the word “Gay” and some reliance on the word “Faggot.” Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not some easily offended PC wuss, but Jesus Christ, Roth GOES OUT OF HIS WAY to do it! To me, rampant hatred of women and homosexual men only means one thing… Eli Roth is probably gay.

...It’s like two guys saying “FUCK THEM QUEERS! Now let’s oil up and do squat-thrusts in front of each other!”

...I don’t even need to say it, but the shot of the knife going into the Cheerleader’s “Mahmoud Poonaninejad.” For God’s sake, what did the vagina ever do to Eli Roth for him to hate it so?

Check out the full article here: Dr. Royce Talks Eli Roth. It is funny, insightful and well worth the read, especially for anybody who actually thinks Eli Roth is A) talented and B) straight.

Movie Review - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

2007-07-09T08:12:00.000-06:00

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (4 of 5): A few months back I watched the first two movies of Sergio Leone’s The Man With No Name Trilogy (see those reviews here and here). The Good, The Bad and the Ugly finishes this trilogy of spaghetti westerns off in style. Set during the American civil war, Clint Eastwood’s character forges an uneasy alliance with a bandit in order to find 200,000 of buried Confederate gold.

The Good… is a great flick. It has an engrossing story, good shoot-outs, awesome characters, and even a few lines of humor too. It is also a beautifully filmed movie. The widescreen shots of the desert southwest are just breathtaking and set a wonderful tone for the film as a whole. Also, the sound in this film, as in the others, is really awesome. The sound of this movie has to be the king of Western films. I mean, who doesn’t recognize “aww-yee, aww-yee, awww, whah, whah, whah”? (well, maybe you don’t recognize it spelled out like that, but you do if you have seen this movie)

As I mentioned, the story is great, but it does get a little too elaborate for its own good. Having the civil war scenes throughout the movie and the extended scenes of character development are just too much in some instances. Some of these scenes just don’t add anything to the movie as a whole and only prolong the ultimate climax. Overall, I felt his film is longer than it needs to be.

But how about that climax!? It is arguably one of the best showdowns in Western movie cinema. The tension that it builds is just incredible and really fun to watch. I had a really good time watching The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Although I have seen parts of it throughout my childhood, it was nice to finally sit down and watch it all through.

It's Official - Eli Roth is a Fag!!

2007-07-06T12:20:00.000-06:00

Continuing our attack on Eli Roth, I noticed that Danny Boyle has something to say about the so called horror writer/director. And since I love to cream all over Danny Boyle, here is what he said...

This from the New York Daily News:

"Trainspotting" helmer Danny Boyle says Eli Roth, who directed the horror film "Hostel," isn't very good.

"His movies aren't even particularly well done," he told us at a screening of his "Sunshine," out July 20. "They're not even scary. They're horrible, but that's not scary. It's not suspense. And if you watch my films in detail, there's actually not a lot of violence in them. You get numb with violence very quickly."

So, it's official. Danny Boyle agrees with us. Eli Roth is a fag.

Movie Review - 16 Blocks

2007-07-06T07:19:00.000-06:00

16 Blocks (3 of 5): In 16 Blocks, Bruce Willis plays Jack Mosley, an aging alcoholic cop who is tasked with escorting Eddie Bunker (played by Mos Def), a prosecution witness, from police custody to a nearby courthouse. Neither one recognizes that powerful forces exist intent on keeping them from reaching their destination. They even start to wonder if they will be lucky to make it to the courthouse alive.

16 Blocks is a decent film with solid performances by Mos Def, Bruce Willis and David Morse. When this movie started I was expecting a been-there, done-that, run-of-the-mill film. However, after a gripping sequence during the first action scene in this movie, I knew 16 Blocks was going to be a little different. I ended up being pleasantly surprised to see that 16 Blocks is deeper than your normal action/thriller film. The characters in this movie really shine. They are developed well and are much more interesting than you would expect of a movie of this caliber. There are of course some good action scenes, but they are appropriately spaced out with some compelling moments and a fitting ending.

These types of movies are hard to classify sometimes. Basically, I did not feel I watched anything superb after finishing 16 Blocks, but I would hardly call it a waste of time. It is solid and decent entertainment that is worth a couple hours of your time. In the same respect though, it also feels like one of those movies that, in about five years, we'll see playing on TBS ten times a day for weeks on end.

PS - Yes, the voice that Mos Def decides to use for his character is really annoying.

Rant - Enough Already

2007-07-05T01:02:00.000-06:00

Has it been 15 minutes yet? Are we almost done with this current fad of torture/gore horror films? Seriously, raise your hand if you don't know what blood looks like by now.

I'm not sure why Tarantino got himself dragged into this mindless type of movie making. He actually has some writing and artistic talent. His acting blows, but as long as he isn't on screen too much it's tolerable. His recent double feature went pretty much un-viewed by most American viewers. His defensive to poor U.S. Box Office numbers: "A lot of American movie-goers can't appreciate these types of films, and don't have the sophistication of British viewers". Are you fucking kidding me? Listening to all the pre-movie hype and interviews with Tarantino, he talked about what a tribute, and throw-back to old 70's and early 80's horror movies the film would be. Guess what Quentin? There is a reason those types of movies aren't made anymore; no one likes them. Thanks for re-creating an obsolete movie genre, then insulting me for being too stupid to appreciate it.

Next is Eli Roth. Creator of such "classics" as Hostel, and Hostel 2. To be fair, I haven't seen either film, and I never will. I already have a pretty good working knowledge of what the inside of someone looks like, and personally don't find watching someone being tortured and mutilated to be that scary. This idiot actually begged and pleaded on his Myspace site after his movie Hostel 2 has only made to date: 17 million, for fans of the film to "go see the movie again, and bring a non-horror fan and try to covert them." He went on to say that the "R-rated movie was going to die with this film if more people don't go see it, and we will all be stuck with PG-13 crap." PG-13 rated movies are not killing the horror movie. It's the fact that that there weren't that many Marilyn Manson loving, molested by their uncle, viewers out there to begin with. And the rest of the people who ever watched this garbage were merely curious, and have since realized that there are only so many ways you can film a handcuffed victim being mutilated before it gets old.

Rodriguez gets a pass because his only error was the double feature with Tarantino. And like Tarantino, he has had a part in movies that I really liked. From Dusk Till Dawn, Desperado, Four Rooms, and Once Upon A Time In Mexico.

Overall, there is one glaring hypocritical point to be made with these movies. These 3 have been all over the media, bashing the current state of horror movies, claiming that the industry has become "cookie-cutter" in nature, and every new horror movie is the same as the last. Really? Clearly this means that SAW I, II, III, Hostel I, II, Turistas, See No Evil, and Captivity were all wildly original? Each of these films is nothing more than the next attempt to shock an audience with nudity and mindless gore. How about writing a story with a plot, and character development.

Not pictured: Rob Zombie, and his ridiculous brand of movie making. This douche nozzle is in another league. To his credit there is at least an attempt at a plot line and character development, but seriously, this guy needs to go get some therapy. It's nice to see that he is almost finished ruining the Halloween franchise. On the surface, that last sentence sounded ridiculous; Halloween ruined itself with endless sequels, however, once again, Rob Zombie and the aforementioned "geniuses" don't appreciate that horror movies (and Halloween is an excellent example) don't need massive amounts of blood and gore to be scary. Seriously, Rob Zombie just needs to make up with his dad and forgive his parents for divorcing, or whatever else caused his dementia. I would give him a cute little puppy dog if I didn't think he would sodomize and eat it.

Movie Review - Session 9

2007-07-04T09:30:00.000-06:00

Session 9 (2 of 5): Session 9 centers around five hazardous materials workers who are cleaning asbestos out of an abandoned mental illness hospital. One of the workers finds some old tapes to listen to that chronicle the sessions that a mentally ill patient had with her doctor. As the patient’s story is slowly explained, one of the workers disappears and other things start to happen that make the workers start to question each other.

That’s all I will bother telling you about, because you’ll never watch this movie. At least I hope you won’t. Session 9 is boring with no real payoff or scares. Although its tone is generally creepy, as a whole the film feels more like a poorly produced made for TV movie. The film was shot in a real life abandoned mental hospital, but the weak story and scares sure don’t justify the expense this production probably went to in order to shoot at that location. There are maybe three creepy scenes in this movie and only one of them really scared me.

Other than that it is an utter waste of two hours. Although, the film is generally eerie and tense throughout, there is no payoff that makes it worthy of your time. What should have been a very cool premise for a horror movie was ultimately handled poorly and turned into a less than stellar film.

Quarterly Top 5 - 3rd Quarter 2007

2007-07-02T12:44:00.000-06:00

This quarter slows down a little bit, which seems to be typical of the late summer months. Hollywood usually blows its wad early in May and June, leaving us with a strangely unsatisfied and hollow feeling until fall. Until the Oscar season strikes up this fall though, I think there are still going to be some good movies coming out over the next three months.

Here are our five most anticipated movies to see this quarter. As always, click on the movie title to jump to the movie's website for a trailer viewing.

MovieGuy #1:

Transformers - Battle to destroy the evil forces of... The Decepticons! This movie is gonna be a blast.
Superbad - This movie looks hilarious and co-stars Michael Cera (Arrested Development) whose comedic timing is freaking outstanding.
Sunshine - A science fiction movie directed by Danny Boyle - count me in.
The Bourne Ultimatum- I have found enough to entertain in the first two Jason Bourne movies. This one looks good too, but hopefully without the camera jerkiness.
Charlie Bartlett - Hearing more and more good things about this movie. Apparently harkens back to the likes of Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, etc.

More Transformers Trailer Goodness

2007-06-28T12:47:00.001-06:00

I stumbled upon this international Transformers trailer today and just had to share it. This one has even more transforming goodness. Like I said in a previous post, even if this movie is awful, it is still going to be entertaining as hell. Enjoy.

Movie Review - True Romance

2007-06-28T08:05:00.000-06:00

True Romance (5 of 5): I got a chance to watch True Romance again over the weekend. The film follows Clarence (Christian Slater) and Alabama (Patricia Arquette) who meet each other and fall instantly in love. When Clarence kills Alabama's pimp, the newlyweds ride off into the sunset with $5 million worth of stolen cocaine. Of course, with that much stolen drugs, the police and the mob are hot on their trail.

True Romance is a very entertaining movie. The screenplay was written by Quentin Tarantino, so that should give you an idea of the energy this film exudes. It is really kinetic and engaging, with scenes of light-heartedness/fun and also scenes of violence/hardship. You are also treated to an all-star cast of great performances. Names like Samuel Jackson, Gary Oldman and Dennis Hopper to name just a few (can you figure out who plays Elvis?). Finally, there are some great action scenes in this film that are built up to explosive levels of tension before their violent and bloody conclusions.

If you want to call it one of Quentin Tarantino’s movies, then it is one of his best – tight, to the point and engaging. True Romance is definitely in a league of its own and can be enjoyed through multiple viewings.

Movie Review - Gangs of New York

2007-06-27T18:10:00.000-06:00

Gangs of New York (4 of 5): Martin Scorsese’s Gangs of New York focuses on the rise of Irish and Italian gangs in New York in the mid-1800s. Leonardo DiCaprio plays Amsterdam, a boy who watches his father, a prominent leader and priest, die in a territorial gang-fight. As a young man, Amsterdam seeks the revenge on his father’s killer, Bill "The Butcher" Poole, played by Daniel Day-Lewis. Along the way he finds love with a street-smart thief played by Cameron Diaz and begins to relate to his father’s killer a lot more than he cares to admit.

This movie is very well done even though it is overly long and contains an unneeded love story. Overall, the cast is exceptional. Daniel Day-Lewis is amazing in this film and gives a frighteningly realistic performance as Bill. Even Cameron Diaz who is not normally associated with movies of this type, really looses herself to the character she plays. The story is very entertaining – typical Scorsese gangster fare, only this time set in the 1800s. I especially like how the politics of the time are so prominently displayed throughout the movie. There is a lot of detail showing how tough, chaotic, frenzied and corrupt life was in the growing city of that time.

Gangs of New York presents an entertaining and engrossing story that really transports you back in history. The sets, characters, story, etc. all feel unique and believable. It is definitely recommended as one of Martin Scorsese’s best films.

Transformers Excitement Builds

2007-06-19T07:42:00.000-06:00

I for one can't wait for the Transformers movie to hit theaters on July 3rd. Even if director Michael Bay takes a big steamy dump all over my fond childhood Transformer memories (like the 80's cartoon series and the awkwardness of my friends and I pausing the fight in order to transform our toys during the middle of a heated Transformer "battle") I think I'll still find something to like this movie. I mean, how can you not like a movie with big fucking fighting robots, cars, jets, explosions and Jon Voight? Seriously, this movie is gonna kick ass - I hope.

In order to get everybody pumped up for the film, I want to share this little gem I came across while surfing the web. Now these people are Transformers fans! Check this movie out.

Movie Review - 28 Weeks Later

2007-06-14T13:34:00.000-06:00

28 Weeks Later (3 of 5): This movie is the sequel to Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later, but hopefully you knew that since the title of the film is so cleverly thought up. In this movie, we follow the citizens of London as they start to move back into their city after the rage virus pandemic is brought under control. However, when one woman turns up as a carrier of the virus, all hell breaks loose.

I liked this movie. It is a decent follow up to its predecessor, but ultimately not as good. Largely, this is due to my preference of the first movie’s more personal story and almost claustrophobic feel. You could really relate to the characters of the first film and ask yourself what you would do in their situations. Plus, the first movie was a nice new spin on the “zombie flick” which made it feel fresh and new.

In 28 Weeks Later, the film has many more characters and thus feels far less personal. The sequel mostly forgoes a character driven story for more action and more blood. That’s not to say there aren’t some good character moments in this film. The first ten minutes of the movie are frantic and provide one heck of a “holy shit” moment of decision that haunts the characters for the rest of the movie.

28 Weeks Later is a lot bloodier, more violent, and action oriented than the first. I didn’t mind this, but I did find the way they shot the action to be really annoying. The camera is in constant motion and during action/scary scenes it gets really hard to follow what is going on. The other thing that kind of annoyed me about 28 Weeks Later is that there are some ridiculous decisions made by the Army in this movie – stuff that (I hope) would never happen in the real world.

I don’t hold many faults to this film though. It is decent sequel and provides some scary entertainment. Also, this movie is depressing as hell, which is good. Survival horror movies should wear you out and make you feel hopeless by the end. 28 Weeks Later succeeds in doing that.

PS – I wanted to also share a great bit of irony that I noted in my movie experience. Before the movie, I was forced to sit through a five minute long propaganda commercial about why the US National Guard is so great and how much the Guard protects us. Then, I watched the movie and noticed how much the US Army screws up in its protection of London’s citizens (to the point of actually ordering the murder of ALL of the city’s inhabitants!). When the irony of the US National Guard commercial playing before this film about the US Army slaughtering a city’s civilians hit me, I had to laugh.

Rant - Would It Kill You To Clean The Bathrooms?

2007-06-13T22:03:00.000-06:00

Call me crazy, but am I the only one who finds it remarkable that my $8.00 movie ticket does not include an attempt at keeping the bathroom somewhat clean? Every time I step foot in these places, the bathroom stalls look like a fresh murder scene. I am so thankful that I have bowels that refuse to evacuate themselves in a public place; especially one so hideous.

Seriously, teenagers will do anything for a regular paycheck, have one of them go in with some Clorox and a mop, and get rid of some of the DNA that covers the walls and sinks. While you are at it, how about making your employees take 5 minutes out of their socializing about who is dating this week's school whore; and go pick up some of the garbage I have to wade through to get to my bacteria-ridden theatre seat?

So next time you are at the local movie theatre, feel free to complain to the theatre manager about the condition of the facility, and thank him for the raging case of herpes you just contracted from the toilet seat. Just because this guy doesn't care what the bathroom looks like, it doesn't mean you do.

Move Review - Blade Trinity

2007-06-11T20:42:00.000-06:00

Blade Trinity (2 of 5): Wow! Want to see how to completely kill a successful movie franchise? Just watch Blade Trinity. This film effectively destroys the coolness that was created with the first two Blade movies by giving us a campy follow-up of bad story, bad CGI, bad acting, bad writing, bad comedy and bad fight choreography. I am not going to provide my usual synopsis of the story in this review. It should be enough to know it has to do with the return of Dracula. Sounds cool, huh? Too bad this film absolutely blows it.

I think Wesley Snipes was looking for a quick paycheck with this one because the whole production seems wacko, especially the casting choices. I mean, who puts Ryan Reynolds in a movie like this? He is one of my favorite comedic actors, but his usually funny humor is so uncomfortably forced and out of place in this movie it is pathetic. Parker Posey is awful too and can barely talk with fake vampire teeth in her mouth. There is even a crazy scene of Dominic Purcell as Dracula walking down the street to some sort of music. It plays out like a really bad rap video from MTV and actually made me laugh.

In my opinion, the only thing that even remotely redeemed this movie is the cool costume effects that were used for Dracula. In this day and age of CGI, it would have been easy to make Blade fight a computer generated character. Well, maybe not “easy” for this film’s production team, but you get my meaning. Anyway, I thought it was refreshing to see that an actual costume was created and used. It definitely added to the realism of the character. Oh yeah, and Jessica Biel was easy on the eyes too (thanks for reminding me of that Maverick!).

Ignore this film. The first two Blade movies were entertaining while maintaining a sense of realism and consequence that the the third film forgoes and substitutes with camp.

Movie Review - Cars

2007-06-10T13:58:00.000-06:00

Cars (4 of 5): Cars is another great movie from the folks at Pixar Animation Studios. The film is about a brash, impatient, egotistical sports car named ~~Lightening~~ Lightning McQueen that is fast becoming the best race car in the circuit. Then, one night McQueen ends up getting lost in the desert and accidentally tears up the street in a sleepy old town on Route 66. When McQueen is forced to stay in the town and fix the road, he slows down enough to realize that there is more to life than just his own conceited desires.

Cars presents a great story and is fun movie to watch. The animation is of course brilliantly executed by Pixar - both the colors and textures pop off the screen. As in their past movies, there are multiple layers to the story that serve to keep both kids and adults entertained with important life lessons and messages. The voice work is also very well done with no one voice overshadowing the on screen magic - even Larry the Cable Guy.

Cars is not Pixar's best movie, but it certainly ranks among the best of the studio's offerings. If you have not seen it yet, I encourage you to take the time to rent this film and check it out.

Rant - Paris & The Media

2007-06-08T13:44:00.000-06:00

I have just about reached a boiling point with this country and the crap media we choose to indulge ourselves with on a daily basis. Yes, I am talking about the current media coverage of the disgrace of a human being, the slime of a life form, the utter worthless sack of skin and bones that is Paris Hilton.

Why in the hell is this chick news?? This is almost as bad as the recent (and still ongoing) Anna Nichole Smith fiasco. Every time I have walked by the TV in my lobby at work over the past two days FOX News' talking heads are discussing Paris Hilton and her early release from jail. It makes me sick.

If anything about this story is news it is that the Los Angeles County Sheriff officials have committed a grievous error by freeing her early and putting her under house arrest to serve the rest of her sentence. Honestly, has this ever happened in the history of the U.S. criminal justice system? If our incarcerated killers get sick like Paris will they get released? I don't think so. It is a terrible double standard that only serves to tarnish the criminal justice system of this country.

People! Get a grip! There are real serious problems in this country and the world that we all need to solve together. How are we supposed to rally around them if our media outlets pour this shit down our throats instead of focusing on the real issues? Now, I know not all media outlets are to blame, but the ones who pander this garbage need to be held accountable. Stop giving them viewership (ratings) when they try and turn this entertainment into news. Life is not a reality TV show! If you stop watching it, then FOX News, et. al will loose advertising dollars and start focusing on topics of importance. If they don't change, then maybe they will go off the air. Who knows, that might even be better.

I don't know about you, but can't wait for Fox's next season of The Simple Life: House Arrest. Don't laugh - you know it is coming.

Movie Review - Knocked Up

2007-06-08T10:10:00.000-06:00

Knocked Up (5 of 5): Easily, the funniest movie of the year thus far. The story involves a guy who manages to have a one night stand with a beautiful girl, who is way out of his league. Several weeks down the road she discovers she is pregnant. The rest of the movie revolves around how this pot smoking slacker handles the responsibility of impending fatherhood.

The best part of the film is seeing different elements of yourself in the characters. The characters are incredibly realistic and believable. You could be the hot, career minded woman who slips up, has a one night stand with a loser, gets pregnant, and has no idea what to do with her life. Maybe you are an overweight, video game playing, internet porn surfing, slacker, who has no real idea what he wants to do with life. Or you could be the bitter married couple with kids who fight about everything after realizing the magic is gone, and having kids eliminates a lot of your "options".

Note: This film almost received a 4 out of 5 rating due to one horribly inappropriate scene. When the young woman does finally give birth, the "birthing" is shown in graphic detail. I guess the point was to illustrate the true nature of the event as viewed through the eyes of the over-whelmed father-to-be; either way it was very unnecessary. And I don't want to hear a bunch of crap from people about how beautiful and natural this "Miracle" is. It may be beautiful to you to watch your wife's vagina split open like an over-ripe melon, but not everyone wants to see it. Also, it's not much of a miracle at this point. I think some of the mystery has been effectively solved at this point. It was a miracle when little, sweet baby Jesus was concieved and born. "Miracles" don't happen 288,000 per day. (That's a real stat...look it up.)

Movie Review - The Fountain

2007-06-05T10:09:00.000-06:00

The Fountain (3 of 5): The Fountain is a bit of a mixed bag. At its heart, it is a love story, but it also has some science fiction and fantasy elements, which makes classifying the movie as any one particular genre difficult. Unfortunately, I think this aspect hinders the movie from being really good.

The film is presented in three different time periods. Tomas (Hugh Jackman) is a 16th century Conquistador on a hunt to retrieve sap from the mythical Tree of Life for his queen (Rachel Weisz), who is desperate for immortality. In 2005, Tom (Jackman) is a doctor searching for the cure to cancer to save the life of his wife Izzi (Weisz), who is in the final days of her battle with death. Then, many years later, Tom travels through space on a quest to reach the place of tranquility that Izzi spoke fondly of, using the Tree as a device to get him to the answers he needs to finally rest.

The various elements of the story, including time, immortality, love and spirituality form a story that is challenging and demanding to the viewer of the film. Although these elements are a great strength to the movie by making it such a unique film, they also drag the movie down too. In the end I felt that there was very little actual story presented and a whole lot of mildly confusing filler and visual imagery. The story itself needed to be grander to fit the epic scale of time that the film spans. Also, it may frustrate some viewers that the ending is not very clear. There are a lot of different ways that you can fit the various pieces of the movie together based on the ending of this film.

Overall, I liked the Fountain. There are some great performances from both Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz. If the story was just a little more clear and well developed and there was more reason to care about the characters plights, I would have liked it a lot more.

Television Review - Extras: Season 1

2007-06-04T16:45:00.000-06:00

Extras: Season 1 (4 of 5): One of my favorite writer's and comedic actors right now is Ricky Gervais. I was first introduced to his brand of comedy through the BBC version of The Office, which he co-wrote and starred. When that show ended he he has since co-produced the American version of the Office and co-wrote/starred in The Extras for HBO.

Gervais has great comedic timing, wonderful facial expressions and the perfect wit and sarcasm. He carries all these traits over to Extras, in which he plays a movie studio extra. Each episode follows him and his female friend as they interact with a famous actor/actress. Usually these interactions result in a lot of uncomfortable moments, stupidity, embarrassment, follies and faux-pas.

The show has a lot of elements that make it really funny. Each episode features a different well known actor/actress that shows a personal (although fictional) side of his/herself that seems totally out of whack with their perfectly constructed media image. For example, in one of the funniest episodes of the season, Kate Winslet demonstrates a penchant for sexual innuendo and humor. In another, we see how egotistical and foul mouthed Ben Stiller can be.

All in all, this is a great comedy. Highly recommended for anybody who even remotely thinks The Office or Seinfeld is funny and very highly recommended for those who appreciate dry and sarcastic humor. Check it out and then watch the second season which releases this week on DVD.

Movie Review - Shrek The Third

2007-06-01T14:34:00.000-06:00

Shrek The Third (2 of 5): This movie should have been called Dreck The Third because it sucks. I was highly disappointed with this film. Basically, it is about Shrek trying to find an heir to the thrown after Fiona's father dies. He finds out Arthur (as in King Arthur) has family ties and then sets out with Donkey and Puss In Boots to go get him and bring him back. Unfortunately, while they are gone, the happy kingdom is overtaken by Prince Charming in a vie for power.

Anyway, the movie is quite a departure from the first two movies, both of which I really enjoyed. The story is so unimaginative and uninteresting that it actually bored me a few times and I considered a nap. Nothing really happens with the characters. Except for Fiona's pregnancy (which could have been a great movie all by itself) none of the characters are really developed. Everything becomes boring and repetitive and this movie has way too many characters with nothing to do that are making return appearances. I also did not find this film as funny as its predecessors. Although I was never a huge fan of all the pop-culture comedic references in the first two (because it is such easy/lazy humor to write), they are largely missing from the third and the movie actually feels empty as a result. Maybe I was expecting them. Similarly, as much as I hated the Smashmouth theme song (gosh, maybe I didn't like the first two movies as much as I though! :)) this third movie has a very lackluster soundtrack.

Well, if you are a kid I am sure you liked it, but if you are an adult, you should know that there is a lot less entertainment in this film than in Shrek 1 or 2 that will appeal to you. Hopefully this is as bad as the series gets, because guess what folks - we are going to be treated to a Shrek 4 and 5 within the next few years! Gosh, I love sequels!

Movie Review/Dedication - Roller Boogie

2007-05-16T09:36:00.000-06:00

Roller Boogie (5 of 5): This review is inspired by the lovely, ass-kicking "PrissKilla Prezleys" from the Memphis Roller Derby League. Especially, Chica Bandita, Lynda-Licious, Do-me-a-favor, and Hustlin Flow. Normally, I would have seen this on Showtime, watched 30 seconds, laughed hard, and kept moving. But since my drinking buddies and I have a newly-found appreciation for roller sports; I thought I would give it a try. Roller Boogie tells the story of a rich girl from California (Linda Blair) who is tired of her wealthy parents who don't pay any attention to her. She runs away and hooks up with the low-income, resident roller-skating hunk (did I just write that?) who aspires to win a gold medal in the Olympics for USA in roller skating. I don't know how this movie was passed up for an academy award. This movie is a cheezy as it comes. Lots of roler rink music, Cher....Abba...and other fine selections. Linda Blair actually plays a pretty sincere rich girl. Her dialogue and character are pretty strongly delivered. Also, she was, and for that matter still is, one of the most beautiful women from that generation. Don't believe me? Check here, or here and especially here. The movie gets an honorary 5 out of 5 due to all the short shorts, low-cut tops, beautiful women, and most importantly, The PrissKilla Prezleys might hunt me down and kick my ass if I give it anything else.

Flash! .... AAAaaa!

2007-05-14T21:42:00.000-06:00

This is old news, but new to me and totally awesome to hear. The Digital Bits reports:

Universal has finally announced the Flash Gordon: Saviour of the Universe Edition! The single-disc DVD release will street on 8/7 (SRP $26.98). the film will be presented in anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Digital 5.1 audio. There will be at least some special features and the title will come in "premium" packaging. No other details are yet available.

I freaking love this movie. The cheesiness, the Queen soundtrack, the B-movie camp factor - its all there to make a fantastic and ridiculously fun adventure. I can remember being totally entertained watching this film as a kid. Anyway, as you can tell I am really excited to have the opportunity to buy a Region 1 DVD of the film. This is one that I have been wanting in my collection for a long time.

Check out the kick-ass Alex Ross DVD cover art!

Movie Trailer - 28 Weeks Later

2007-05-10T02:00:00.001-06:00

In my opinion, this is going to be one of the better movies to come out this Friday. Here is the most current trailer for 28 Weeks Later, the survival horror follow-up to Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later. Looks good!

Movie Review - Miami Vice

2007-05-06T14:41:00.000-06:00

Miami Vice (2 of 5): I knew Miami Vice was going to suck, but for some reason I felt oddly compelled to watch it anyway. At the very least, I thought it would entertain with some great explosions, cool car chases, and hot women. Too bad this movie contains none of the above. Actually, it is kind of hard to really figure out what this film was about. You're just sort of thrown into the story without any exposition or character development, and since everybody either super-cooly grunts their lines or has a really bad accent, I spent most of the film just trying to figure out what people were saying. Then, throughout the rest of the movie I was mostly just distracted by Colin Farrel's annoying haircut and bushy mustache. The story goes nowhere with characters you could care less about and an ending that is absolutely abysmal. If there was one thing I liked about this movie it is that the gunfight at the end is actually very well filmed, making the visuals and sound highly realistic and entertaining. Too bad most people probably missed it by leaving the theater early.

Movie Review - The Good Shepherd

2007-04-26T07:17:00.000-06:00

The Good Shepherd (3 of 5): Matt Damon stars in this drama that examines the early history of the CIA as seen through the eyes of a dedicated agent named Edward Wilson. As an upstanding, sharp-minded Yale student, he is recruited to work for the CIA during World War II and the film follows his career within the organization up to the Bay of Pigs invasion. Though loyal to his country, Wilson begins to feel the job eroding his ideals, filling him with distrust and utterly destroying his personal life.

It’s a great setup to what I expected be a pretty cool espionage thriller. Unfortunately, it doesn’t add up and the film becomes frustrating and even boring at times. The story is told through multiple flashback sequences which make following the story and its characters difficult. Plus, the viewer is never really keyed in to understanding what this movie is about. Instead of a gripping story with some good intrigue and mild action scenes, the movie feels more like a jumble of arbitrary conversations that don’t add up to a whole lot by the end of this almost three hour film. It left me wondering what I was supposed to get from it all, besides a mild case of depression for how crappy Wilson’s life turns out after so many years with the CIA. Although there is some minimal payoff at the very depressing end of this film, it’s not enough from saving The Good Shepherd from being mediocre at best.

Movie Review - For a Few Dollars More

2007-04-25T08:10:00.000-06:00

For a Few Dollars More (4 of 5): For a Few Dollars More is the solid follow-up to Sergio Leone’s A Fistfull of Dollars, and part two of the Man With No Name trilogy. This movie continues the story of The Man With No Name (Clint Eastwood) as he joins forces with Colonel Mortimer (Lee Van Cleef) to catch a ruthless outlaw named Indio. Eastwood is after money but Van Cleef’s motives remain mysterious for much of the film. Van Cleef is such a solid acting presence in this movie, and his character's story is so much more developed, that he pretty much steals the show from Eastwood in this film. Throw in some great shoot-outs, deadly double crosses, an awesome musical score, and heavy doses of violence and you've got yourself one highly entertaining western. It's definitely a film you won't hesitate to watch again sometime on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

Movie Review - Over the Hedge

2007-04-24T08:06:00.000-06:00

Over the Hedge (3 of 5): Here’s your basic kids movie, released by Dreamworks last summer to capitalize on the current trend of computer animated “buddy” flicks. The film is about a sneaky raccoon that accidentally destroys a bear’s food stash. Understandably, the bear is pissed and gives the raccoon until next full moon to get it all back, or else… The raccoon befriends a group of naïve animals who wake up from hibernation to find their woods completely surrounded by suburban expansion. The hilarity ensues when they help the raccoon steal all the stuff he is looking for from local suburbanites. Of course, its drama time when the other animals find out they are being used and friendships dissolve as a result. Then, in the face of adversity, friends re-unite and everybody learns some important lessons. Gee, sound familiar? Yeah, it’s good stuff for kids but pretty formulaic for adults.

There really is nothing special about this movie, except for maybe the wide array of actors and actresses that lend their voice talent. Unfortunately, we have seen the basic story recreated a million times over the years, so it all seems rather repetitive at this point. The animation is okay. Although bright and colorful, I thought the textures could have been better in some areas. Overall, I felt the movie looked thrown together and rushed to get it out to theater for the busy and profitable summer season ’06.

Movie Review - Children of Men

2007-04-23T08:14:00.000-06:00

Children of Men (5 of 5): Children of Men is a fantastic science fiction thriller with a powerful social and political message. The setting of the film is London, in 2027. As the movie opens, we see that the world’s youngest person (an 18 year old) has died. Yup, eighteen years ago, women across the globe suddenly could not get pregnant anymore. Subsequently, the human race faces extinction. Since then, the world has slowly decayed. Violence is prevalent, wars have broke out, resources are becoming scarce and London resembles a fascist state; currently the process of deporting all of its immigrants. Society is in shambles, but things change when a single woman mysteriously becomes pregnant. This prompts a conflicted government bureaucrat (Clive Owen) and his ex-wife (Julianne Moore) to join forces to protect her.

I loved this movie – everything about it is great. The future scenario that is portrayed perfectly fits a future you could anticipate too see 20 years from now, especially given today’s political and social climates. The story is excellent and extremely gripping. It hooked me early, kept me enthralled, and never let go. All of the subtle visuals in the backgrounds and settings really add to the realism of the story too. I also thought that the characters are really well thought out, and their actions were driven by realistic motives. It is excellent story-telling all around. The film is beautifully shot too! Two scenes in particular are almost too exhausting to watch: one during a car chase early in the film, and the other towards the end during an escape from a war-torn city. These scenes are really effective at pulling you in and actually had me so tense I had to consciously remind myself to relax. Pay attention, what makes these two scenes so compelling is that they were filmed like a documentary, with ridiculously long takes on a hand held camera – no editing. It's really fantastic!

Anyway, Children of Men is an extremely effective movie that will have you thinking about its message for a few days after watching it. The film was actually nominated for cinematography, film editing, and adapted screenplay awards in the 2007 Academy Awards, but did not win in any category. It is unfortunate that the movie slipped under the radar late last year because it deserved better. One of the best films of 2006 - highly recommended.

Movie Review - Blades of Glory

2007-04-20T22:16:00.000-06:00

Blades Of Glory (4 of 5): Gayest...Movie...Ever. (Not that there is anything wrong with that; as long as it's two hot women). Similar to the last Will Ferrell movie reviewed on the site, there is not a lot that needs to be said here. I think everyone knows the plot: Chazz Michael Michaels (Ferrell) and Jimmy MacElroy (Heder) are arch rival figure skaters. After being banned from competitive skating (what the hell is that?), they discover that the only way to get back into the business is to team up in couples skating. Obviously, the entire movie is laced with homosexual inuendo, a kick-ass 80's rock soundtrack, and some of the best laugh-till-you-almost-throw-up-moments in a long time. You can't go wrong with this movie; assuming you like Will Ferrell. It's better than Talladega Nights, and equal to Anchorman.

Movie Review - Rocky Balboa

2007-04-20T07:15:00.000-06:00

Rocky Balboa (4 of 5): After the train wreck that was Rocky V, I was a little nervous to revisit this franchise. Turns out Rocky still has some life left though because this is a pretty good movie. The focus of the film is not on the “big fight” as it is has been in previous installments. Instead, this movie gets back to the roots of the original, with a decent writing and directing effort by Stallone that focuses on an aging Rocky Balboa, his life, family, friends, and unmet goals. The film has some nice inspirational messages, and even though I thought the editing of the boxing match at the end left something to be desired, I was happy with the overall ending and the movie as a whole. In my mind, this movie definitely replaces the fifth film as the real conclusion to the Rocky saga.

If I had to rate the Rocky movies from best to worst, they would fall in place like this:

Rocky - "Yo, Adrian!"
Rocky II - "Ya, lousy bum!"
Rocky Balboa - "Let's start buildin some hurtin bombs!"
Rocky IV - "I vill break you!"
Rocky III - "I pity the foo!"
Rocky V - "Time to put some hustle behind this muscle!"

What do you think?

Movie Trailer - 1408

2007-04-19T17:35:00.000-06:00

Here is a movie trailer I stumbled upon today for a film called 1408. Apparently, it is based on a short-story written by Stephen King. Has anybody read it? The movie definitely looks creepy. Look for it in July. Enjoy!

Movie Review - Happy Feet

2007-04-19T08:07:00.000-06:00

Happy Feet (3 of 5): This is a rather bizarre movie about a penguin who can’t sing (huuhh?). Instead, he is a really good dancer (umm, WTF am I watching here?). Ostracized from his community, the penguin goes on an adventure with some other penguins to make contact with the “aliens” (humans) and find out why the fish supply is dwindling. News to me, but apparently adventures of this kind in the Antarctic require a lot of song and dance routines to unusual selections of music (sorry, nothing of JTs) and interaction with a variety penguins with some variant of Robin Williams' voice. Yes, truly, the Antarctic is a strange and wondrous place!

The music routines are hit and miss, but overall are fun. The animation is excellent. I was especially impressed by the wide screen shots of the penguin colonies. The story could have been a little tighter, cutting at least 15 minutes from the film. Unfortunately, late in the movie, the environmental message becomes both preachy and cheesy, leading to an ultimately muddled message that many kids will probably overlook. Overall this movie was just okay, surprisingly beating the far superior Monster House for Best Animated Feature at the 2007 Oscars.

#1 Fan

2007-04-18T22:03:00.000-06:00

While catching up with our beloved little site, I couldn't help but notice some mention of myself and a certain Mickey Mouseketeer (link). I am secure enough in my manhood to admit that I don't entirely hate J.T. (yes, we are that close..I refer to him as J.T.)

Let's evaluate his accomplishments thus far:

1. He sells a lot of records. Normally, not always a good indication of talent, but I must say; despite the occasional homo-erotic ballad; some of his music is pretty unique and talent filled.

2. Managed to have sex with Britney Spears...before she turned into boozed soaked, no talent whore.

3. Allegedly, one of the only Mouseketeers that wasn't sexually molested by Goofy in the basement of the "It's a Small, Small World" ride at Magic Kingdom.

4. Managed to secure a major voice-over role in Shrek 3

5. Brought sexy back.

So, in closing, I would just like to say: Have fun taking your shots at us...I mean him now while you can. But when Alpha Dogs 2 comes out, there is always room on the J.T. bandwagon for you.

Movie Review - The Science of Sleep

2007-04-18T08:06:00.000-06:00

The Science of Sleep (2 of 5): The Science of Sleep is written and directed by the same director/co-writer of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, so I was naturally excited to see it since I think ESSM is a fantastic movie. The Science of Sleep is about a timid young man who can't control the fantastical plots and images of his dream world from intruding into his waking hours. Failing at his new job, he finds inspiration in his neighbor, Stephanie. However, his waking insecurities threaten to destroy their relationship.

Although I thought this movie demonstrated some very creative and imaginative dream sequences, they do not save the film from being an overall bore. The characters act in really bizarre and unnatural ways in their interactions and the story becomes muddled and confusing. You can’t relate to these characters because their interactions are so confusing, so the movie just becomes a lot of weird dreamy sequences strung together with arguments and reconciliations. Plus, the ending to this movie is terrible.

Movie Review - A Fistful of Dollars

2007-04-17T00:25:00.000-06:00

A Fistful of Dollars (5 of 5): A young Clint Eastwood kicks some ass in the first installment of Sergio Leone’s The Man With No Name trilogy. Folks, this is spaghetti western entertainment at its finest. As a wandering gunman, Eastwood’s character rides into a feud between two families and plays each side against the other. Great action, a tight story, funny moments, suspense, drama, cheese… This film has it all and I loved it. Special thanks to my brother-in-law for letting me borrow it.

NB Must Not C TV

2007-04-16T17:46:00.000-06:00

I read this today on the IMDB:

...NBC recorded its lowest ratings during a regular season in its history, trade reports indicated today (Monday). Dreadful numbers for comedy shows My Name Is Earl, The Office, 30 Rock, and Scrubs...

Bad news for fans of these shows. It makes me wonder what kind of knee-jerk reaction we're in store for by the studio execs at NBC. Hopefully, they realize that this line up of shows is their funniest in a long time (possibly since the delightful comedy hit, Joey) and will let the "numbers" pan out. I wholeheartedly recommend all four of these shows and have been especially enjoying the hilarity of 30 Rock this season. Check it out on Thursday nights at 8:00 CDT.

Full story here.

Movie Review - 300

2007-04-16T08:12:00.001-06:00

300 (2 of 5): Okay, I think I am going to get a lot of grief for my stand on this movie, but here it goes: 300 is not that good. I was ready to love this film, but by the end I found it to be mostly a disappointment. 300 is a fictional account of a real life Spartan battle. Based upon Frank Miller’s graphic novel of the same name, it is the story of 300 Spartan warriors who hold off an invading Persian army of millions in the battle of Thermopylae.

This movie is pure eye candy, and if you fit the target demographic for this film (18-24 yr old, male, videogame player, Amp^TM drinker, bi-curious fraternity member) I am sure you loved it. However, for the rest of us, let’s be a little more critical. Sure, 300 provides some great action scenes of battle and manly hardcoreness, but I think little else. You likely know that this movie is extremely violent and highly stylized, and although the battle scenes are very creative and exciting to watch at first, they soon become monotonous and then downright tedious/boring after the 1000^th slow-motion bloodletting with patented “splurch” sound effect. Trust me, two hours of slow motion giggling man-boobs gets really annoying. Did I mention this entire movie is in slow motion?! Think about that… Anyway, taken separately, the battle scenes are fun, exciting, visually awesome, and for the most part a pretty good time. Yet, taken as a whole, they are an exercise in patience.

Since this is getting too long, I will wrap it up. My other major complaints are that the film is filled with too much melodrama, clichés and an out of place political back story that feels tacked on. You are also told how great Sparta is about a million times over, so be ready for a brainwashing. In all honesty though, I do give a lot of credit to the movie on a technical level because its cinematography, f/x and production design are absolutely brilliant. Overall though, the film can’t be saved from being a shallow experience – one devoid of truly good story telling or characters to really care about.

Integrity...Service...Downtime

2007-04-15T23:12:00.000-06:00

Over the past 6 months, I had very little opportunity to watch any real movies. I did however have plenty of time to sleep on a prison-like bunk, sharing filthy living quarters with a bunch of other guys, (one of which, only owned 2 pairs of torn T.J. Maxx underwear), and taking mildly homoerotic, steamy group showers. In addition, I learned a few things:

1. Drinking 14 shots of Tequila that is older than yourself, can take away your desire for Tequila.

2. Female arm wrestlers, although very tough looking, are in fact not stronger than me.

3. Some movies are not meant to be viewed over, and over again.

Case in point, there were occasional times when there was a "break" in training. During these times, in between insulting each others mothers and and hoarding Oreo cookies, I was able to view a small collection of movies. Some classics, others...well, see for yourself.

Full Metal Jacket (5 of 5): This one gets a good rating, not only because it is a great movie, but it was kind of the theme of the entire training. Running, getting yelled at, a fat guy in my class that looked like Pyle (you know who you are). It certainly provided some great quotes for our time spent. (Times viewed: 2)

Dumb and Dumber (5 of 5): This may seem like a gracious score, but really, it's a movie that still provides laughs each time you see it. Also, I found several new funny lines and actions in the movie that I had never noticed before. (Times viewed: 3)

Smokey and the Bandit (3 of 5): I know this movie is probably sacred to Nascar fans and white trash (is there a difference?), but to people who don't weld, or pour concrete for a living; it's not worth multiple viewings. Although, it is amazing just how "non-politically correct" Sheriff Buford T. Justice is in the film. If you still own a VCR or Beta-Max, go check it out for yourself. (Times viewed: 2)

Blackhawk Down (2 of 5): Josh Hartnett is a clown shoe. I don't buy into any movie he is involved in, and as discussed at length many times before with Movie Guy #1; If there are actors in a movie who I dislike, the movie is pretty much ruined for me. (See: Fight Club) Now, if the movie had Tom Berenger, and was all about sniping bad guys...5 stars easy. (Times viewed: 2)

Spaceballs (2 of 5): I think this movie is horribly over-rated. Maybe because every weekend, it seems to be showing on WGN or TNT, and I am totally burnt out on it, but I have never found it to be that amusing. Not even in the 6 month long mini-hell, was I able to really laugh at any "Schwartz" jokes. (Times viewed: 1)

Marked For Death (2 of 5): My favorite Steven Seagal movie of all time! The only reason this doesn't get a score of 1 of 5, is because at least the soundtrack is good. I use to have it on cassette. It's all Reggae. Also, the fight scenes and dialogue are funnier that Spaceballs. (Times viewed: 1)

Death Warrant (1 of 5): Are you kidding me? Who keeps green-lighting all these Jean-Claudde van Damme movies? It pains me to even rank this with a 1. It must have been a banner year for movies in 1990. This piece of shit, along with Marked For Death were released. I can't believe this movie made $15 million in the theatre.

Now maybe I can get back to real life, and start watching some good movies. Does anyone know when the next Look Who's Talking movie comes out?

Change in the Air

2007-04-15T14:00:00.000-06:00

Boy, I tell ya, Movie Guy #2 can be a real ass. As soon as he got back from his super secret agent training he was all like "What the f**k? Why hasn't the MovieGuys blog been updated more frequently in my absence?" I tried to tell him how I was tired, had school and fatherly duties, and felt burnt out... He just stood there with an expressionless look on his face and then said "Yeah, yeah, I have heard it all before; it's the same thing with all you guys - the drugs, the prostitution, the crime". At that moment, I started to ask what the hell he was talking about, when he whips out his extendable baton muttering "what'd you just say to me?", and then pepper sprayed me in the face! I fell to the ground, blinded, and all I could hear was MovieGuy #2 yelling out "resisting arrest!" Then, I am pretty sure I got tasered in the crotch and passed out.

When I woke up, I was sitting in a dark room in front of a computer monitor with the MovieGuys blog displayed. A Post-It-Note on the side of the monitor read: "Remember, 3 strikes and you're out. Now, get to work you wussy -MG#2".

With a little therapy, I have managed to come to grips with that horrendous event, and I think the brainwashing effect of MG #2's training has mostly worn off. As a result, you can see we are getting along better now and have made some changes to the Site. Not only are we updating more frequently, but we have also updated the page to allow us to display more and better content.

Some new additions include the new Entertainment News section on the right side-bar of the page. This will be updated daily with all sorts of new movie news. Also, below that, we have added links to movie box office revenues from Box Office Mojo. Now you can see which movie made the most money over the weekend. Finally, we added a link to Dark Horizons' list of movie release dates so you never have an excuse to ask us when a movie is going to be released.

We are excited about offering this new content and hope you find it helpful. Remember, to check back often, or add us to your Google Reader for instant notifications of updates. Also, remember to comment and let us know what you want to see on the Site.

Sincerely,
MG #1

Television Review - Da Ali G Show: Season 1

2007-04-14T10:34:00.000-06:00

Da Ali G Show: Season 1 (3 of 5): If you have heard of the Borat movie, you have probably heard of this show. It aired on HBO to much success and a follow up season. Sasha Cohen uses his Ali G, Borat and Bruno characters to interview politicians and other American personalities within each episode. He does an excellent job of immersing himself into his characters and getting people to say really absurd things. That is the heart of the shows excellence - the comedy of stupid people and their idiotic responses to questions. Of course, Sasha Cohen's impromptu humor and comedic timing is a large part of it too. Unfortunately, the good moments dry up quickly and the show becomes tidbits of very funny moments laced within many boring segments. Cohen demonstrates his intelligence by addressing a lot of important points in his social commentary. Yet, in between the laughs, the show bores with too many talking heads. Overall, I think this show likely works better on T.V., where you only watch one episode a week or so, not two or three in a row. Either way, it's fun, just not as funny as I was expecting.

Movie Review - MirrorMask

2007-04-13T08:10:00.000-06:00

MirrorMask (5 of 5): This film is another hallmark of creativity from screenwriter Neil Gaiman and Jim Henson Studios. The movie follows the adventures of a girl in her dreamland as she tries to restore the balance of light and dark in a kingdom that is slowly being overtaken by dark elements. The movie is very engrossing and a visual treat - it all feels very surreal. My only small complaint is that some of the plot elements in the movie seem to be repeated over and over again just for the sake of presenting some new creature or landscape on the screen. I am overlooking this small complaint though because the story and visuals in this movie are so entertaining.

Quarterly Top Five - 2nd Quarter 2007

2007-04-12T21:40:00.000-06:00

Continuing were we left off last quarter, here are our five most anticipated movies to see this quarter. There is a lot of competition in the theaters this spring, so stick to this list if you don't want to waste your money. As always, click on the movie title to jump to the movie's website for a trailer viewing.

MovieGuy #1:

Spider-Man 3 - Happy to see this movie looking darker and including Venom
Hot Fuzz - Looks like a great police spoof with a lot of over the top craziness
28 Weeks Later - I am optimistic this survival/horror sequel to 28 Days Later will rock
Knocked Up - Supposedly, this film from the director of 40 Year Old Virgin is one of the funniest films out this spring
Live Free or Die Hard - Yes, the title is horrid, but John McClane still kicks ass

Well, that's it. I am going to try and avoid Shrek 3 and Pirates 3, but I doubt I will be successful. Have fun at the movies this spring, and make sure you leave a comment letting us know your most anticipated movies!

Welcome Back

2007-04-12T21:26:00.000-06:00

Although there have already been several "Welcome Back", and "Our Triumphant Return" posts recently, this is my first official post since July of last year. I have to be honest here...I am really disappointed that the viewership has plummeted so severely. I have a few posts lined up, and ideas for the site, so make sure to visit regularly.

As for this picture....well, I'm sure you see the connection. Did people really dress like that?

Movie Review - The Great Escape

2007-04-12T08:09:00.000-06:00

The Great Escape (4 of 5): This is a classic film that I am happy to have finally gotten the chance to watch. Lots of great actors in this real-life story about a prison camp escape during WWII. Those clever Nazis rounded up all the POWs that continued to escape from their camps and put them all together in a new "impenetrable" facility. It does not take long for the prisoners to start testing their new cage and pretty soon they are all working together in an elaborate plot to escape. It’s a great film with some surprising moments and fun action.

Movie Review - Talladega NIghts: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

2007-04-11T08:15:00.000-06:00

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (3 of 5): There is not much to write about this movie. It is a typical Will Ferrell comedy – hit and miss, but mostly hits. Some of the bits go on too long, or don’t really make much sense, but I have grown to understand and accept this in his movies. Sasha Baron Cohen (ie: Borat) is also in this film, playing a French NASCAR driver. He is good too, even though I found his accent to be questionable at best. You pretty much know what you are getting into with this movie. Its funny, so go watch it you dusty ole fart!

Movie Review - Nausicca of the Valley of the Wind

2007-04-10T08:11:00.000-06:00

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind (4 of 5): I watched Hayao Miyazaki’s “Princess Mononoke” and “Spirited Away” last year with much enjoyment. Naussica… is better than Spirited Away and probably on par with Princess Monoke. The movie is about a warrior princess, named Nausicaa, who rallies her people against an evil queen's rampaging army in an effort to give her homeland a new lease on its future. It has a strong pro-environment message, good story and characters and excellent animation. I definitely enjoyed it and think you will too.

Movie Review - The Departed

2007-04-09T20:47:00.000-06:00

The Departed (3 of 5): For such an all-star cast and cool story idea, this sure was a disappointing movie. If you ask me, this was one of the most overrated movies of last year. The only reason Martin Scorsese won an Oscar for it was because he was so overdue. This is far from his best work though. The plot is muddled, the editing is mediocre, the characters are undeveloped and the ending is terrible!

Another Title With: "We're Back!"

2007-04-08T18:10:00.000-06:00

Updates have been non-existent lately, huh? Yeah, we know. Real life has interfered once again, and with only one MovieGuy to cover things for all those months burn-out was imminent. Have no fear though, The MovieGuys are back on track.

Even though we had a break, we have still been watching movies! Actually, we have a list of 10+ reviews to post. They are relatively short mini-reviews, not our normal sized ones, but that should help you get on with your day more quickly. To get us ramped up again, we are going to post a new one each day. So stay tuned!

Also, now that MovieGuy#2 is back (am I allowed to tell you that?), he should have some new an interesting content to provide our loyal reader base.

Movie Sound

2007-02-20T08:05:00.000-06:00

On my way to work this morning I caught an interesting segment on NPR (yes, I listen to NPR, what's it to ya?!) about Foley mixers and sound production in movies. It was a pretty interesting segment that explains how movies are mixed with sound.

I guess this is the first segment out of four this week about movies. A new piece will be presented each morning around 7:45 if you are interested in listening. Or, you can just visit the link above and read/listen to the story there.

Movie Review - Pan's Labyrinth

2007-02-19T19:30:00.000-06:00

Pan's Labyrinth (5 of 5): Pan's Labyrinth is a film about a young girl (Ofelia) who is moved out to the country with her pregnant mother to live with her new step-father, a brutal fascist officer in the pro-Franco army of 1944 Spain. When Ofelia finds a decaying labyrinth guarded by Pan, an ancient faun who claims to know her destiny, she must perform three tasks in order to take her rightful place as a princess in the labyrinth's kingdom.

The movie can best be described as a fairy-tale for adults. It can be viewed on a couple different levels, depending on the amount of complexity you want to watch the film. You can view it as strictly a fairy-tale movie and believe that everything Ofelia sees is real. Or, you can view it as a war movie and believe that Ofelia is creating this fantasy universe around her as an emotional response to being caught up in the cruelty of war and living with her sick mother. I tend to believe the later.

One thing is for sure, this is not a fairy-tale for children. This movie is brutally violent in some places and cringe worthy in others. The fantasy elements are dark and the story is generally depressing. These are not complaints, just observations. If I have to list one complaint, it is that there are not enough fantasy elements within this movie. For a movie that has been so obviously advertised as a fantasy adventure, I think the fantasy scenes are a little too few and far between. Overall though, Pan's Labyrinth is a really well told and emotional story with great acting, characters and visual effects.

I strongly encourage you to see this movie. I hope you'll get wrapped up in it as much as I did and come out of the theater feeling you experienced a really terrific story.

Movie Review - The Proposition

2007-02-19T18:25:00.000-06:00

The Proposition (3 of 5): Guy Peirce is the main character in this cowboy movie set during the British colonial occupation of Australia. He is the middle of three Irish brothers and has been given a proposition by the Captain of a local law authority - he must bring in his murderous/sociopathic older brother (dead or alive) within 9 days, or else his younger brother will be hanged.

This is a pretty well put together cowboy movie. It's tone is familiar of Unforgiven or some of the more recent "grittier" cowboy flicks that have come out within the last 10 years. The characters that were created really do a good job of making the movie interesting and driving the story. Also, this film does a great job of setting the mood. It feels like a genuine and accurate depiction of the time. Why just three stars then? Well, I guess nothing really stood out for me with this movie. Although there are some shocking moments of violence that grab the viewers attention, the story is just okay and the action sequences are sparse and short. Overall, it makes for a somewhat mediocre result.

Movie Review - The Descent

2007-01-30T21:15:00.000-06:00

The Descent (5 of 5): It is my great pleasure to give this movie such a high rating because it is uncommon for me to really get into the horror genre. Most horror movies just don't scare me, so when I find one that does, it is a a real treat.

The Descent is a film about six women who like to go on outdoor/extreme trips (think: Mountain Dew commercials with women) This time they are going on a caving trip. Supposedly he trip is going to be a nice easy trek at a cave for novices. However, after an accident, some startling revelations, and the discovery of a population of subterranean human-like monsters, the trip goes sour. As expected, one by one the girls get picked off, but not after a good fight. Refreshingly, these women know how to defend themselves and they aren't afraid to fight for their lives. One or two stand out and make it to the end, but I won't give away more than that.

This is a terrific movie. The suspense is allowed to build and the cave monsters never feel like the main push of the film - they aren't even introduced until well into the movie. Instead the tension is allowed to build, first with the darkness that fills the caves, then with the tight claustrophobic spaces the women crawl through, and finally with the introduction and fight for survival against the monsters. The pace works perfectly to really get the audience wrapped up. And you'll stay engaged too! Thankfully, the are few, if any, of those classic horror movie moments when the characters make stupid, irrational decisions that leave you wondering "WTF?".

Check this movie out and make sure you watch it in complete darkness with surround sound. It is a great survival horror flick that I guarantee will have you thinking twice about ever going in a cave.

Movie Review - The Illusionist

2007-01-29T20:36:00.000-06:00

The Illusionist (2 of 5): This film is set in early 1900s Vienna and centers on a magician who falls for an aristocrat well above his social standing. They fall in love, but when she becomes engaged to the Crown Prince, the master magician must use his powers to free her from her unwanted marriage.

Pretty basic story really, with the added element of magic. There are some strong actors in this movie (Ed Norton, Paul Giamatti) and they do their best, but the material just doesn't justify their work or their forced period accents. When it all comes down to it, this movie fails as both a drama and a mystery.

I never felt like I really cared about the characters because the stories all felt too rushed, especially the love story. Also, early in the movie you can pretty much figure out exactly how this one is going to play out. Then, the end offers this big "M. Night Shyamalan-esque" reveal as the inspector pieces everything together, which just comes across as hoaky and unnecessary. Finally, I hated how there was no explanation at all of how the Illusionist was performing his tricks! I understand that magicians need to have their secrets (even in movies), but there was absolutely no description of how he was pulling off some major illusions. This is very frustrating because the movie leads you to believe that he has supernatural powers and can conjure up dead spirits yet never explains if that is the case. Add to these complaints a handful of plot-holes and you have yourself a pretty mediocre movie.

Skip this one. Instead, I encourage you to watch last year's other magician movie, The Prestige. It was far superior.

Tom Arnold Quiz

2007-01-26T08:05:00.000-06:00

I caught some of Jay Leno last night and saw that Tom Arnold was at some movie festival giving away free swag to people who would do stupid things or answer silly questions. Well, one of the questions he asked a young lady was to name three movies in which he has acted. She couldn't think of one.

Ever so briefly, I considering how demoralizing that might have been to Tom... then, I laughed.

After laughing at his expense for awhile, my wife and I decided to play along by trying to actually come up with three movies in which Tom Arnold has acted, without consulting IMDB or other online sources. What we found out was that answering that question was a lot harder than you would think. I came up with True Lies pretty quick and my wife chimed in with Big Bully (how did she know that?). Beyond that, we were quickly stumped. I thought he was in some Christmas movie too, like Jingle All the Way; but my wife, confusing my genius for psychosis, insists I am crazy.

Now, I turn to you, oh faithful Tom Arnold fan(s) (you know who you are). Without cheating, can you think of any other movies he has been in? I think (and hope) you will find this task is harder than it sounds.

Labyrinth Access... DENIED!?

2007-01-25T09:01:00.000-06:00

If there is one movie that I want to see right now, it is Pan's Labyrinth. Unfortunately though, I'm not sure if I will be able to see this sweet-ass looking movie in the theater because I can't seem to find a theater near me that is playing it!

It feels like this movie has been out for awhile and that my time is running out. The movie's website insists the film is playing in theaters everywhere right now, with an even broader release taking place this Friday, but I am not too sure. If by "everywhere" it means "everywhere BUT Champaign, IL" then I guess that's no lie.

How far am I going to have to drive to see this film? Will it be released at one of our big theaters this weekend? Or, will the local art theater in town limit its playing of Rocky Balboa and Blood Diamond (yes, I said art theater) and play Pan's Labyrinth?

Stay tuned...

Oscar Nomination Prelude

2007-01-22T08:07:00.000-06:00

Heard today that the Producer's Guild of America awarded Little Miss Sunshine with their Best Picture of 2006 award. Sometimes these award shows can be good precursors of what we can expect for the Academy Awards, but not all the time. For example, last year the PGA gave best picture to Brokeback Mountain (MG #2s favorite movie), while the Academy's Oscar went to Crash.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences releases their Oscar nominations tomorrow.

Rant - New MPAA Rating Guidlines

2007-01-17T08:34:00.000-06:00

I heard on the radio this morning that the Motion Picture Association of America is going to be revising some of its movie rating guidelines within the next couple of months. Apparently, the revisions will be mainly focused on providing better information to parents so that they can protect their kiddies from too much exposure to sex and violence. The new system will also enact a new system of precedence, meaning that the rating of a current movie can be justified based of ratings of previously released similar movies.

The last time the MPAA made revisions to the movie rating system was 16 years ago. Since then, the movie industry has changed quite a bit. Independent films have really gained public acceptance, violence and sex are more predominant, and content has become more mature. Therefore, it is probably a good thing that changes to the rating system are being made in order to keep it up to date with the present.

Though, I remain skeptical that any changes will improve the already screwed up rating system. Currently, I think independent films are usually unfairly and too harshly judged, violence is allowed but sexual situations force an automatic "R", and the true content of movies can be as confusing to discern as ever.

The MPAA really needs to totally junk its current rating system and just start over with a fresh look. However, without a total shift in the paradigm, I doubt this will ever happen. Right now, the secret MPAA ratings board is filled with too many studio execs that are only out to serve their own best interests, not those of the public.

What do you think? Have you seen any movies that you feel were unfairly rated?

Quarterly Top Five - 1st Quarter 2007

2007-01-03T20:33:00.000-06:00

You can bet a lot of movies will be released in 2007. Many of them will be great and a lot more will be stinkers. To help you sort through the mess, 2MovieGuys is going to highlight our most anticipated top 5 new releases for each quarter of 2007. By sticking to this list you should have no worries about wasting your hard earned scratch.

Without further ado, here is a list of our most anticipated movie releases over the next three months. In April, we'll revise the list for April-June. Click on the title to go to the movie website and watch a trailer.

MovieGuy #1:

Movie Review - Super Troopers

2007-01-01T21:47:00.000-06:00

Super Troopers (4 of 5): This is a funny movie. The Broken Lizard gang makes a lot of good cop jokes and keeps the gags rolling. I especially enjoyed the opening first few minutes in which two of the state troopers were messing with some doped up kids they pulled over. My other favorite part of the movie was when a couple of the troopers stopped at a fast food restaurant and ordered some food. The employee of the restaurant is utterly hilarious in the way he delivers his lines - totally dead-pan and sarcastic. Of course, you have to have an obligatory love story in these movies, and Super Troopers doesn't fail to deliver. Thankfully, it is not hard to stomach and there are some pretty funny moments between the love interests. Get over the mediocre story and you'll have fun with this movie.

"Did you just say meow"?

Movie Review - Mission Impossible 3

2006-12-28T17:07:00.000-06:00

Mission Impossible 3 (3 of 5): Mission Impossible 3 is more of the same with a slight twist in character development this time around. You still get cool action scenes, people in costume, plot twists and a bit of mystery, but this time around we also get to see Ethan Hunt's character go all gah gah for a girl. He wants to get married and stay out of the "game". Of course, that's not going to happen and he gets pulled back in to the special agent lifestyle, this time to save his fiance and track down a super secret device called the "rabbits foot".

This movie did not live up to my expectations. There were some decent action scenes, but that was about it. Everything else seemed to be hashed out and a cookie cutter of what we expect. The movie didn't really attempt to do anything different except for show us the personal side of Ethan Hunt and get all lovey-dovey with his relationship. Really, it feels like they went out and made this movie in about one week. Everything just sort of felt like it was "been there, done that" territory. Remember the suspense of breaking into Langley Headquarters from the first Mission Impossible? In #3 that suspense was never re-created. This time, they break into the Vatican. The suspense is not there and too much falls into place for the characters.

Anyway, this is just a decent movie. The love story and a lack of suspense and innovation keep this movie from being really cool. Although, it definitely beats the pants off of the slow motion crap fest that was Mission Impossible 2.

Movie Review - Land of the Dead

2006-12-26T16:25:00.000-06:00

Land of the Dead (2 of 5): Here is another suck-ass movie that I wasted my vacation watching. Why you ask? Not sure really. I guess I thought the potential for a cool zombie movie is pretty high today given all the cool special effects available to movie makers.

Although the special effects are pretty good in this movie and I do enjoy the over the top blood and gore, the story just never reaches the height it should. It's a shame too, because Land of the Dead starts off with good potential. The world has been taken over by zombies and only small groups of humans still live in camps and other communities around the globe. This premise would have been enough to make a cool movie about survival in this harsh new reality. Too bad...

Instead, the viewer is treated to a stupid plot about a guy who just wants to get out of town. But before he can do that he has to kill an acquaintence and former work collegue for the evil reining big-wig controlling the human settlement. If this story is not dumb enough, then add the fact that the zombies are starting to learn! They are getting smarter, organizing and rebelling against the human settlements. Lemme tell you, smart zombies start to look and sound a lot like human retards, drooling and moaning everywhere. Before long, you'll think your watching the special olympics. All of this makes for one LAME movie.

Movie Review - Doom

2006-12-26T15:17:00.000-06:00

Doom (1 of 5): Well, here is a 1.5 hour long waste of time and potential. Of course, I knew it was going to be bad before watching it, but I was saddened by just how bad it gets. The "marines" are a laughable group led by Duane "The Rock" Johnson of WWF fame. The marines in Predator or Aliens would wipe the floor clean with Doom's marines. The acting is terrible to sub-par throughout. The special effects aren't bad, but they are definitely low budget.

However, the thing that makes me the most disappointed with this movie is that it screwed up what should have been easy. All you have to do to make a good Doom movie is to copy the original Doom game! That means have a one man team go in to save the scientists who has to fight hordes and hordes of beasties. Instead, we are treated to a movie version of Doom 3 that does not acknowledge Doom or Doom 2 at all. Alternatively, it offers only three different monsters, no gore, no cool weapons being used (BFG is totally wasted in this movie) and a dysfunctional group of idiot marines who you just want to see die already.

Don't waste your time. Find Doom and Doom 2 and play through those games again. You'll get more enjoyment playing them.

Top Five Christmas Movies

2006-12-23T18:11:00.000-06:00

Okay folks, here we go. The 2 Movie Guys Top Five Christmas Movies list. If you have not seen these movies, consider yourself a scrooge.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
A Christmas Story
Scrooged
Elf
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the cartoon, not that live action pile of shit)

There ya go. Although they are all comedies, those are the best Christmas movies for your money.

Merry Christmas!

PS - Special thanks to Bob & Randy who helped out with this list.

Movie Review - The Vanishing (1988)

2006-12-18T18:33:00.000-06:00

The Vanishing (4 of 5): This is a pretty cool foreign movie about a man who obsessively searches for his girlfriend for three years after she disappears at a rest stop while the two are on a road trip. His investigation draws the attention of her abductor who is a mild-mannered professor and family man. Using flashbacks, the movie shows how the kidnapper carefully plans the woman's abduction and contacts the boyfriend, promising to reveal to him the woman's fate.

This movie was pretty cool because it explored both the pursuits of the boyfriend trying to find his girlfriend and the sociopathic pursuits of the abductor. This approach really makes you get a better feel for the characters and understand the abductor's thoughts a little more. He becomes more human and a lot scarier as a result. Anyway, this is my kind of thriller/horror movie - completely believable, scary and sticks with your subconscious for days. Its great psychological horror.

I have not seen the Sandra Bullock/Jeff Bridges remake of this movie, buy I hear it sucks in comparison. I won't ruin the end of the movie, but I will say it is pretty cool. In the end, both the boyfriend and the abductor get what they want, and more.

Movie Review - Borat

2006-12-17T17:15:00.000-06:00

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (5 of 5): As if the title is not evidence enough, this movie exists in a world of its own. I imagine people either really hate it or they really love it with no in between. I personally fall into the later category. and think that Borat is the funniest movie I have seen in the last five years. Actually, probably longer than that. Borat is, without a doubt, one of the top five funniest movies I have ever seen my entire life!

Know this...

Sacha Baron Cohen is brilliant as Borat - his Da Ali G Show Season 1 & 2 as well as Ali G Indahouse have shot up to the top of my rental list.
Americans can be very ugly, rude, pathetic, blabbering, prejudiced fools.
Naked-man wrestling is both utterly repulsive and side-splittingly hilarious.

Borat is just pure laughter wrapped up in a nice little 1.5 hr movie. There, that is all you need to know. My review is over. You should go to the theater right now and pray this movie is still playing.

Television Review - The Office: Season 2

2006-12-17T15:45:00.000-06:00

The Office: Season 2 (5 of 5): I noticed this TV show really seemed to catch on with the public towards the mid to latter half of season 2, and it has been advertised heavily during the current season 3 episodes. That's good because it is one of the funniest shows on television right now. Recently, I got a chance to make my way through season 2 and get caught up on some of the episodes I missed during the TV run. It was time well spent. The series picks up from where the first left off, but this season the writing is better and the characters are a lot funnier.

There are a lot of great episodes in this season 2 series. The Dundies, Christmas Party, The Booze Cruise, Dwight's Speech and Drug Testing are just some of the episodes that made me laugh the most. I love the characters that have been created in this show. They all have their own qualities and are distinctly different from each other, allowig them all to be funny for different reasons. Over the long-run, this really keeps the show fresh each week. The other nice thing about this comedy is that it has some poignant moments that help to ground the characters and offset all the laughs and funny, but uncomfortable, situations. The relationship between Pam and Jim is extremely well written and the characters of Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute are perfectly played by Steve Carell and Rainn Wilson, respectively.

Remember, the American version of The Office is based on Ricky Gervais's enormously successful BBC sitcom of the same name. The BBC show is excellent. So, if you are a fan of the American version, I strongly encourage you to see the BBC counterpart because it too is hilarious. Don't ask me which version is better though. Prior to season 2, I thought the BBC version was better, but now, I honestly think they are both excellent in their own right.

Big Time Updating

2006-12-15T08:15:00.000-06:00

Well, school is done for the semester. So, that means that MovieGuy #1 is going to have a lot more free time to make posts to this incredible blog. Too bad MovieGuy#2 is still incognito with his super secret agent training (oh, what our tax dollars pay for...).

Anyway, check out the new movie reviews that are up. You can expect many more to follow within the days and weeks ahead. We have also added labels to our posts for easier site navigation. Want to see all of our 1 star reviews? Now you can!

We need to spice things up a little more here though. Too many reviews can get boring. So, more rants are planned and also some more top 5/10 lists.

Ideas are welcome! After all, this site is dedicated to its millions of fans. Remember, this is YOUR blog!

MovieGuy #1

Movie Review - Thank You For Smoking

2006-12-02T11:09:00.000-06:00

Thank You For Smoking (3 of 5): I got a chance to check this movie out the other night and was a little disappointed. I should have listened to MovieGuy #2 who said it was just mediocre but it was already on my Netflix list and being delivered. This movie is a satirical dark comedy about the cigarette industry. It follows the exploits of a smooth talking lobbyist who is working to promote smoking in the movies while trying to remain a role model for his young son. There are some funny moments in this movie, particularly the scenes with Rob Lowe as a movie producer, but for the most part this movie is so dry and satirical that it leaves the audience without much more than a smirk.

Movie Review - X-Men: The Last Stand

2006-11-28T13:12:00.000-06:00

X-Men: The Last Stand (2 of 5): This is the third movie of the X-Men franchise and by far the weakest of the three, putting an end to the momentum and coolness that the first two movies were building up. This is primarily due to the fact that this movie tries to cover too much and ended up without a very cohesive (or interesting) store line. Not only are we introduced to a slew of new mutants including: The Beast, Juggernaught, Angel, and a bunch of no-name Brotherhood of Evil Mutant enlistees, but we also have the loss of some very significant characters and the return of Jean Gray as The Dark Phoenix. Unfortunately, all these elements are too much and the movie collapses under its own weight. All of these elements, especially the Dark Phoenix story, should have had their own movies. Instead, we get a mish mash of cool concepts and moments filled in with some rather lame dialogue and crappy character development. The most irritating thing of it all is that I can think of a multitude of ways in which everything that happened in this movie can be completely blown off and "written-out" of the franchise as a whole if a fourth movie is ever made. Since I know fan reaction has been harsh, this will probably happen, making the film a complete waste of time. Skip this suck-fest and hope Bryan Singer comes back to helm the inevitable fourth film.

Movie Review - Casino Royale

2006-11-21T22:00:00.000-06:00

Casino Royale (4 of 5): Well, I am impressed. I didn't think it could be done, but the James Bond franchise has been rebooted and resurrected from the depths of mundanity. Bond is cool again, but he aint your mamma's 007. This Bond is brutal in his fighting technique, unafraid to kick some serious ass and possibly tear his tuxedo in the process! This movie effectively reintroduces us to James Bond as it presents a story from his early years in the British Secret Service. There are some great moments and many of the Bond cliches are defined for the very first time. You'll see how Bond gets his first Astin Martin; how he develops a taste for martinis; his first tuxedo fitting; and why he never gets too involved with the ladies. Its a basic story involving a bad guy who is just out to get rich, not take over the world; and there are no gadgets in this film either! Blasphemous, I know. But it all really works to re-write the franchise and take it in a new and fresh direction. My only two quibbles with the movie is that it is too long and that it suffers from some pacing issues in the middle. Other than that, I can't wait for the next Bond film with Daniel Craig as the new 007. Check it out!

Movie Review - High Tension

2006-11-21T21:48:00.000-06:00

High Tension (2 of 5): Now, here is a movie that I was really getting into and quite enjoying, right up until the last 20 minutes or so which totally ruined, and I mean ruined, the entire film. We follow two girls who are going home to one of their parents' house to do some school studying before exams. The night they arrive all hell breaks loose when a psycho killer arrives at the house. The remainder of the movie follows the two girls as they try to escape the grasp of the murderer. This movie is very graphic and bloody! Honestly, there were some scenes that were just so gratuitous that I had to just squeal in glee. Although some scenes are hard to stomach, it was all in good fun. Then, the end... Poof, there goes a pretty great movie given today's low standards in horror films (I am looking at you SAW). Anyway, if you totally have to see this movie, I suggest stopping it before the climax/twist ending, otherwise you'll be as pissed as I am. The ending makes absolutely no sense, no matter how you look at it. As a matter of fact, I challenge somebody to defend the the end and explain it to me so that it makes sense.

Movie Review - Dawn of the Dead (1978)

2006-11-21T21:31:00.000-06:00

Dawn of the Dead (2 of 5): Sorry, I can't get behind this movie. Way too long and way too hokey. Maybe if I had not seen the recent (and superior) remake I would have liked this old one better. Although I can appreciate some of the social and cultural commentary present in this film, it wasn't enough to save it from being a horribly bad and often laughable movie - I know, its not supposed to be an Oscar contender. All I wanted was a scary movie, but instead I got a pretty cheesy B Movie that was not scary at all. I'll give George Romero one more chance to impress me with his zombie movies when I watch Land of the Dead later this year. Hopefully, it will be better than Dawn.

Movie Review - Shaun of the Dead

2006-11-21T21:23:00.000-06:00

Shaun of the Dead (3 of 5): I was somewhat disappointed with this movie. It came out a couple years back to what I remember was a fairly warm reception. So, maybe my expectations were set too high, but I just did not see the point. I have seen a lot better zombie movies. This one was more of a comedy, but there were actually some fairly dramatic scenes in it that were, for the most part poorly acted. Although there are some funny moments, I just felt like most of the movie was kind of boring. It was cool to see some of the actors from the BBC version of The Office in the movie though. Glad to see they are involved in other projects.

Television Review - Rome: Season 1

2006-11-14T22:05:00.000-06:00

Rome: Season 1 (4 of 5): Rome is an HBO produced television series that is set during the last years of Julius Caesar's reign. The show does focus on Ceasar, but mostly centers on two Roman soldiers, Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo, and their families. Of course, being an HBO series, the production values are top notch. The acting is good and the story is great, though it can be hard to follow at times with all the characters to keep track of. This show isn't for the prudish though. There are heaping helpings of violence throughout the series and lot of explicit sexual content, especially in the first few episodes. Violence and sex... awesome! Except for just a couple episodes that did not hold my full attention, the story lines were great with plenty of politicking and back-stabbing to make things interesting. This show definitely paints a more personalized and gritty picture of Rome that you just don't get in movies like Gladiator or Alexander.

Halloween Movie Kick

2006-10-31T08:58:00.000-06:00

Halloween is one of my favorite times of the year. In order to celebrate the season this year, I have been really wanting to watch some scary movies. So, I have recently filled my Netflix list up with scary movies I have never seen before in an effort to enjoy Halloween for all its worth this year. Here are some mini-reviews of movies I have recently watched:

Slither (4 of 5): This movie is the perfect mix of horror and fun, never taking itself too seriously, but also not diving too deep into B-movie territory either. Slither is a total throw-back to the horror films of the 1980s. It has a lot of good gross outs and some good scares too. Best scene: birth of the slugs.

Night of the Living Dead - 1968 (3 of 5): This is a horror classic. Black and white and very creepy at some points, especially the music. I liked this movie, but it couldn't quite eclipse the impression that the 80s remake left on me. This is the way horror movies should be - the characters should convey a total loss of all hope and forget about happy endings! Best scene: when the zombies are munching on char-broiled human.

Saw II (2 of 5): If you liked the first, the second is pretty much the same, except less personal with more of a funhouse atmosphere. If not for being in the mood to watch this type of movie during Halloween, I probably would give this movie 2 stars instead of 3. The minimal amount of psychological horror present in the first movie is largely gone in the sequel, replaced with more visual horror and gross-outs. I think it was a mistake to delve into the roots of the Jigsaw killer - why do horror movie franchises always do this? It ruins the mystery! Best scene: combing through a pile of used hypodermic needles to find a hidden key.

Well, that is all the scary movies I have gotten a chance to see recently. However, I will have three more to watch very soon. Next up: Dawn of the Dead (1978), High Tension and The Vanishing.

Movie Review: Everything Is Illuminated

2006-10-27T08:05:00.000-06:00

Everything Is Illuminated (4 of 5): This is a nice movie about a young Jewish man, played by Elijah Wood, who goes to the Ukraine to uncover the secrets of his grandfather's past and how he escaped the country and fled to American in World War II. In order to figure things out he enlists the help of a Ukrainian escort business that specializes in helping Jewish families trace their roots throughout the region. What he doesn't know though is that his grandfather's past has crossed paths with the Ukrainian family in ways that they will soon both understand.

Like I said, this is a nice movie. It is entertaining and I was happily surprised to find myself laughing quite frequently throughout. I thought this would be a difficult move to get through because of its anti-semitic/holocaust subject matter, however the film is hardly weighed down by these issues. Instead, it is frequently light-hearted, especially the scenes involving the Ukrainian grandson who loves American pop-culture. This is a poignant, funny and sad movie that provides a very good entertainment experience.

Movie Review - Running Scared

2006-10-27T07:36:00.000-06:00

Running Scared (3 of 5): You may remember the TV preview for this film always ending with a blacklit glowing hockey puck being slapped right towards a guy whose face is being held against the ice. No? Well, it may not say much for my character, but I thought that looked pretty cool and made a mental note to check this movie out when I could.

Running Scared is a film is about a young boy who gets fed up with his abusive step-father and decides to shoot him with a gun he steals from his friend's dad. The only problem is that the gun was used in a crime conducted by the father and his gang. When the young boy runs away after failing to kill his step-father, and his friend's dad figures out his gun was stolen, the story then follows the boy and his misadventures while running away and the dad in his effort to find the boy and get the gun back.

Yeah, it's not a particularly challenging movie, but there is more than enough action and plot twists to keep you entertained. This is a violent and bloody movie though, so I wouldn't watch it with your mother. Except for a twist ending and a very strange out-of-place sequence in the middle of the movie, you are going to get a good helping of drugs, guns, violence, gangsters, crooked cops, pimps, and double-crosses in this movie. Enjoy.

PS- Make sure you watch the closing credits. The animation is very entertaining.

Television Review - Battlestar Galactica: Season 2.5

2006-10-18T07:41:00.000-06:00

Battlestar Galactica: Season 2.5 (5 of 5): If you have not seen Battlestar Galactica yet, I urge you to go rent season 1 and get started. The show is terrific and highly entertaining. Season 2.5 continues the first and second seasons with more entertaining and thought provoking story lines, cool space ship action sequences and interesting character developments. This show ranks up there with some of the best shows on TV and it constantly re-invents itself to stay fresh and exciting. It is always engaging and definitely "smart" science-fiction.

I know, you're wondering what the heck Season 2.5 is, right? Well, the second season of the show had about a 6 month split in it so they decided to release the first half of the second season on DVD separate from the second half. This is probably my only beef with season 2. I really would have liked to watch everything together instead of having a break. By the time I got my hands on season 2.5 it was about 8 months after I saw season 2.0, and I had forgotten some of the minor story elements by that time.

Thanks to my brother-in-law for introducing me to this incredible show and letting me borrow his Season 2.5 disc. Now I am all caught up. Season 3 just started airing on the Sci-Fi channel a couple of weeks ago and I can't wait to watch it, especially after that season 2 finale, which is totally out of right-field.

Television Review - LOST: Season 2

2006-09-29T08:07:00.000-06:00

LOST: Season 2 (5 of 5): Well, I just finished the second season of LOST last night. It took a couple of weeks to make it through all six DVDs but it was well worth it. I made a LOST marathon last night, staying up until 1:00 AM to watch the last four season two episodes.

What a freaking great show! LOST is some of the best TV I have seen in my entire life and I wholeheartedly recommend you rent the first and second season. Get yourself caught up and start taping season three when it starts next Wednesday night. DVD is a great medium to watch TV since you can watch a few episodes at a time and don't have to sit through commercials and long programming breaks.

The second season cliff hangers really got intense (and maybe overdone?) . It seems like every episode ends in a cliff hanger and usually starts that way too! Overall, I really liked how the story developed and have some interesting theories about where it is headed. My biggest complaint with the show is that in some cases the writers seemed to be out of touch with the characters just a bit. Charlie and Locke particularly acted in ways that seemed to contradict their personas of the first season. Other than that though, and a few hit-n-miss episodes throughout, the story is incredibly intriguing, the characters interesting and the production values top notch.

It is going to be very interesting to see where show goes in it's third season. The second season was a bit of a departure from the feel of the first as less time was spent on "surviving" and avoiding island dangers and more time was spent on solving the islands mysteries. My opinion is that the third season is going to probably diverge a little more too as it explores some of the actions and motifs of the antagonists (the Others) of the island. I'll go out on a limb and say that I think it is possible we will discover that the Others aren't the main threat.

Now go GET LOST!

Where are the MovieGuys?

2006-09-13T16:35:00.000-06:00

We have gotten a flood of mail from our millions of fans the world who wondering where the MovieGuys have gone. No updates for weeks! Why?! Well, of course, there is a reason, two actually. The first is that MovieGuy #2 is off playing cops and robbers for six months in training for his new job. The second is that MovieGuy #1 is back in night-school for another semester of self-abuse.

Of course these reasons mean that we hardly have enough time to watch movies these days, let alone write up reviews of them. Sorry, our world famous rants will have to wait too. Don't worry though, we are already forming ideas and making plans to come back stronger than ever. Until the official re-release of 2 MovieGuys, check in periodically for the occasional update.

Thanks,
2 MovieGuys